“I think what I’ve realized is, life is all about climbing up, slipping down, and picking yourself up again. And it doesn’t matter if you slip down. As long as you’re kind of heading more or less upwards. That’s all you can hope for. More or less upwards.”
“We don't have to reveal everything to each other. It's OK to be private. It's OK to say no. It's OK to say, 'I'm not going to share that.”
“The trouble is, depression doesn't come with handy symptoms like spots and a temperature, so you don't realize it at first. You keep saying 'I'm fine' to people when you're not fine. You think you should be fine. You keep saying to yourself: 'Why aren't I fine?”
“It won’t be forever. You’ll be in the dark for as long as it takes and then you’ll come out.”
“They talk about “body language,” as if we all speak it the same. But everyone has their own dialect. For me right now, for example, swiveling my body right away and staring rigidly at the corner means, “I like you.” Because I didn’t run away and shut myself in the bathroom. I just hope he realizes that.”
“Most people underestimate eyes. They're infinite. You look someone straight in the eye and your whole soul can be sucked out in a nanosecond. Other people's eyes are limitless and that's what scares me.”
“The more you engage with the outside world, the more you’ll be able to turn down the volume on those worries. You’ll see that they’re unfounded. You’ll see that the world is a very busy and varied place and most people have the attention span of a gnat. They’ve already forgotten what happened. They don’t think about it. There will have been five more sensations since your incident.”
“But, Audrey, that's what life is. We're all on a jagged graph. I know I am. Up a bit, down a bit. That's life.”
“I’ve come to think of my lizard brain as basically a version of Felix. It’s totally random and makes no sense and you can’t let it run your life. If we let Felix run our lives, we’d all wear superhero costumes all day long and eat nothing but ice-cream. But if you try to fight Felix, all you get is wails and screams and tantrums, and it all gets more and more stressy. So the thing is to listen to him with half an ear and nod your head and then ignore him and do what you want to do. Same with the lizard brain.”
“(I’ve often noticed that people equate “having a sense of humour” with “being an insensitive moron.”)”
“Except that stopping midsentence is the worst thing people can do. It's like, totally passive-aggressive, because you can't take issue with anything they've said. You have to take issue with what you think they were going to say. Which then they deny.”
“Where there is shouting, there is no true knowledge.”
“I've confromted enough assholes in my time. They never realize they're assholes. Not once. Whatever you say.”
“I would like a cappuccino," says Linus politely. "Thank you."
"Your name?"
"I'll spell it for you," he says. "Z-W-P-A-E-N--"
"What?" She stares at him, Sharpie in hand.
"Wait, I haven't finished. Double F-hyphen-T-J-U-S. It's an unusual name, Linus adds gravely. "It's Dutch.”
“You have no idea what Linus is thinking. It could be good, it could be bad. Most likely, it's nothing at all. He's a boy. You'd better get used to that.”
“Sometimes I hope I’m building up a stockpile of missing laughs, and when I’ve recovered, they’ll all come exploding out in one gigantic fit that lasts twenty-four hours.”
“What’s the point of you? Try this, for starters. And underneath there’s a long list. He’s written a long, long list, that fills the page. I’m so flustered, I can’t even read it properly, but as I scan down I catch beautiful smile and great taste in music (I sneaked a look at your iPod) and awesome Starbucks name. I give a sudden snort of laughter that almost turns to a sob and then turns to a smile, and then suddenly I’m wiping my eyes. I’m all over the place.”
“The parents are in charge of all the stuff like technology in the house and time on screens and hours on social media, but then their computer goes wrong and they’re like a baby, going, “What happened to my document?” “I can’t get Facebook.” “How do I load a picture? Double-click what? What does that mean?” And we have to sort it out for them.”
“Even when you think you have lost yourself, love can still find you.”
“Other people's eyes are limitless and that's what scares me.”
“But I'm sick of this bloody jagged graph. You know, two steps up, one step down. It's so painful. It's so slow. It's like this endless game of snakes and ladders." And Mum just looked at me as if she wanted to laugh or maybe cry, and said, "But Audrey, that's what life is. We're all on a jagged graph. I know I am. Up a bit, down a bit. That's life.”
“For God’s sake. In movies, they fix the note to a dog’s collar and it trots off obediently, no nonsense.”
“Although, as Leonardo da Vinci said: “Where there is shouting, there is no true knowledge,”
“You remember that Christmas when they got ill?" Mum says presently. "The year they were about two and three? Remember? And got poo all over their Christmas stockings, and it was everywhere, and we said, "It has to get easier than this"?"
"I remember."
"We were cleaning it all up and we kept saying to each other, "When they get older, it'll get easier." Remember?"
"I do." Dad looks fondly at her.
" Well bring back the poo." Mum begins to laugh, a bit hysterically. "I would do anything for a bit of poo right now."
"I dream of poo," says Dad firmly, and Mum laughs even more, till she's wiping tears from her eyes.”
“don’t look back once, the entire time I’m talking to her. But I can feel his eyes on me all the time. Like sunshine.”
“I feel like I’ve been on this massive long, lonely journey, and none of my friends could ever understand it, even Natalie. I think I kind of hated them for that.”
“And then Jo met Professor Bhaer, so we had to watch that bit. And then Beth died. So I guess the March sisters were on their own jagged graph too.”
“Sweetheart, I know you think it'll be a cathartic experience and you'll say your piece and everyone will come away the wiser,' says Dad. 'But in real life that doesn't happen. I've confronted enough assholes in my time. They never realize they're assholes. Not once. Whatever you say.”
“She's not talking to me. She's talking to the Imaginary Daily Mail Judge, who constantly watches her life and gives it marks out of ten.”
“How many times have you tried to talk to someone about something that matters to you, tried to get them to see it the way you do? And how many of those times have ended with you feeling bitter, resenting them for making you feel like your pain doesn't have any substance after all?
Like when you've split up with someone, and you try to communicate the way you feel, because you need to say the words, need to feel that somebody understands just how pissed off and frightened you feel. The problem is, they never do. "Plenty more fish in the sea," they'll say, or "You're better off without them," or "Do you want some of these potato chips?" They never really understand, because they haven't been there, every day, every hour. They don't know the way things have been, the way that it's made you, the way it has structured your world. They'll never realise that someone who makes you feel bad may be the person you need most in the world. They don't understand the history, the background, don't know the pillars of memory that hold you up. Ultimately, they don't know you well enough, and they never can. Everyone's alone in their world, because everybody's life is different. You can send people letters, and show them photos, but they can never come to visit where you live.
Unless you love them. And then they can burn it down.”
“Then I placed the blade next to the skin on my palm. A tingle arched across my scalp. The floor tipped up at me and my body spilled away. Then I was on the ceiling looking down, waiting to see what would happen next...”
“Todos sabemos que todo tendrá fin algún día, pero no podemos dejar que eso nos frene. No debemos dejar que nos impida vivir.”
“An hour ago on the sand-shore he has been looking at her as if she were the only being of any importance in the world. And now she was a nobody.”
“I will tell you something about stories, [he said] They aren’t just entertainment. Don’t be fooled. They are all we have, you see, all we have to fight off illness and death. You don’t have anything if you don’t have the stories. Their evil is mighty but it can’t stand up to our stories. So they try to destroy the stories let the stories be confused or forgotten. They would like that They would be happy Because we would be defenseless then.”
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