Quotes from How To Talk To A Widower

Jonathan Tropper ·  352 pages

Rating: (12.6K votes)


“Sometimes you walk past a pretty girl on the street there's something beyond beauty in her face, something warm and smart and inviting, and in the three seconds you have to look at her, you actually fall in love, and in those moments, you can actually know the taste of her kiss, the feel of her skin against yours, the sound of her laugh, how she'll look at you and make you whole. And then she's gone, and in the five seconds afterwards, you mourn her loss with more sadness than you'll ever admit to. ”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower


“She was smart and funny and vulnerable and just so goddamned beautiful, the kind of beautiful that was worth being shot down over.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower


“You swear you’ll never become your parents. You listen to edgy music, you dress young and hip, you have sex standing up and on kitchen tables, you say “fuck” and “shit” a lot, and then one day, without warning, their words emerge from your mouth like long-dormant sleeper agents suddenly activated. You’re still young enough to hear these words through the ears of the teenager sitting beside you, and you realize how pitiful and ultimately futile your efforts will be, a few measly sandbags against the tidal wave of genetic destiny.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower


“I want to explain everything to him, show him that it’s really not as screwed up as it all sounds, but then I remember that it is.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower


“The sky is fucking with me. It's one of those militantly perfect spring days, the kind that seems to be trying just a little too hard, the kind you want to smack in the face, and the sky is bluer than it has any right to be, really, an obnoxious, overbearing blue that implies that staying home is a crime against humanity. Like I've got anywhere to go. The neighborhood is alive with gardeners mowing lawns and trimming hedges, the mechanized hiss of twirling sprinklers and for those just joining us, it's a beautiful day and Hailey is dead and I have nothing to do, nowhere to be.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower



“I was sprawled out in my usual position on the couch, half asleep but entirely drunk, torturing myself by tearing memories out of my mind at random like matches from a book, striking them one at a time and drowsily setting myself on fire.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower


“Pity, I've learned, is like a fart. You can tolerate your own, but you simply can't stand anyone else's.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower


“It’s life, that’s all. There are no happy endings, just happy days, happy moments. The only real ending is death, and trust me, no one dies happy. And the price of not dying is that things change all the time, and the only thing you can count on is that there’s not a thing you can do about it.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower


“Even betting against myself, I could always find a way to lose.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower


“In my defense, I was young and there was an open bar.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower



“The tears come to my eyes so fast, there's just no way to stop them.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower


“Wir sehen Menschen, die wir lieben, meist nur so, wie wir sie im Kopf haben. Hin und wieder aber erhaschen wir zufällig einen Blick darauf, wie sie in Wirklichkeit aussehen, und in den Sekundenbruchteilen, die unser Gehirn braucht, um sich auf die neue Realität einzustellen, kommen kleine Dinge in uns vom Weg ab und wirbeln schreiend irgendeinen Abhang hinunter.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower


“I may not beleive in God, but I believe in guilt and no one wants to dick around with eternity, even if it isn't there.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower


“But that's why you pay for insurance, right? If you never file a claim, then they've beaten you.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower


“But someday I'll fall in love again, right? I'll start over with someone, and maybe we'll buy a big old house with all this new money I have, and we'll have kids, and I'll be a professional writer, maybe even write some books. I'll have this whole great life, and it will be thanks to Hailey dying in a plane crash. And I don't know exactly at what point it will happen, but the time will come when I'll have crossed this line where maybe I wouldn't go back to save her, because I'll know that if it weren't for her dying, I wouldn't have this family I love, and this life I'm living. And the thought of that, of becoming the person who wouldn't go back to save her...”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower



“It’s rare for someone to say something to you, just a few words, really, and actually make you see yourself from a completely different vantage point.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower


“The point is, people become possessive of their grief, almost proud of it. They want to believe it’s like no one else’s. But it is. It’s exactly like everybody else’s. Grief is like a shark. It’s been around forever, and in that time there’s been just about no evolution. You know why?” “Why?” “Because it’s perfect just the way it is.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower


“The cop looks annoyed, like we're giving him a headache. I want to explain everything to him that its really not as screwed up as it all sounds, but then I remember that it is.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower


“This is just your time, son, that’s all. Your time to hurt and bleed and tear apart your notion of what makes you who you are. Life knocks us all on our ass at some point. And then we get back up, and we make some changes, because that’s what men do. We adapt. And when we’re done adapting, we’re better equipped to survive.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower


“There are no happy endings, just happy days, happy moments. The only real ending is death, and trust me, no one dies happy. And the price of not dying is that things change all the time, and the only thing you can count on is that there's not a thing you can do about it.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower



“I love Hailey and what we have works. Shes's beautiful, she's smart, she's a great mother, and she's heads above what I ever thought I could see in myself.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower


“Fate. Destiny. God. It’s all a crock. People want their lives to make sense, want to sit back like cosmic detectives and examine what’s happened to them so far, identifying the key turning points that shaped them and retroactively imbuing these moments with a mystical aura, like the celestial forces of the universe are a team of writers on the serialized television show of your life, charged with concocting outrageously convoluted plotlines designed to achieve resolution by the end of the season. No one wants to believe that it’s all completely random, that the direction of our lives is nothing more than a complex series of accidents, little nuclear mushroom clouds, and we’re just living in the fallout.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower


“I’d always assumed that the people who lived in those fancy houses in the suburbs were financially better off than I was, and only once I’d joined them did I come to understand that it’s all just a much more sophisticated and elaborate way of being broke. There’s the jumbo mortgage, the home equity loan to renovate the kitchen and bathrooms, the two or three monthly luxury car payments; before you know it, you’ve spent a hundred grand of post-tax income before you’ve put the first piece of bread on your table. Curse of the middle class, my ass. They do it to themselves, all because they’ve got this Hollywood Christmas movie notion of what their life is supposed to look like. It’s a tenuous existence built precariously on a foundation of colossal debt, and one miscalculation, one meager bonus or bad investment or unforeseen expense, can bring the whole thing crashing to the ground.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower


“I’m sorry.” I know it’s the universal default, but the problem is, one’s first knee-jerk response when someone says “I’m sorry” is to say “It’s okay.” We are programmed from kindergarten, from the first time the inevitable snot-nosed kid knocks over our blocks, to forgive. And it’s not okay, it’s as far from okay as it can really get, but there you are, tricked by a sociolinguistic tic into affirming that it is.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower


“You swear you’ll never become your parents. You listen to edgy music, you dress young and hip, you have sex standing up and on kitchen tables, you say “fuck” and “shit” a lot, and then one day, without warning, their words emerge from your mouth like long-dormant sleeper agents suddenly activated. You’re still young enough to hear these words through the ears of the teenager sitting beside you, and you realize how pitiful and ultimately futile your efforts will be, a few measly sandbags against the tidal wave of genetic destiny.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower



“Healing is a deeply private process and, honestly, you’re not welcome to be a part of it. But you will have given me a short furlough from the dark, sorry prison of my mind, and that gift, precious in its own right, is really the best you can hope to offer.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower


About the author

Jonathan Tropper
Born place: in The United States
Born date February 19, 1970
See more on GoodReads

Popular quotes

“Paper: Some inexpensive plain bond paper A pad of Strathmore Drawing Paper, 80 lb., 11" × 14" Pencils: A #2 ordinary yellow writing pencil with an eraser at the top A #4 drawing pencil—Faber-Castell, Prismacolor Turquoise, or other brand Marking pens: Sharpie (or other brand) fine point non-permanent black A second marker, fine point permanent black Graphite stick: #4 General’s is a good brand, or other brand Pencil sharpener: A small handheld sharpener is fine Erasers: A Pink Pearl eraser A Staedtler Mars white plastic eraser A kneaded eraser—Lyra, Design, or other brand Masking tape: 3M Scotch Low Tack Artist Tape Clips: Two 1-inch-wide black clips Drawing board: A firm surface large enough to hold your 11" × 14" drawing paper—about 15" × 18" is a good size. This can be improvised from a kitchen cutting board, a piece of foam board, a piece of Masonite, or thick cardboard. Picture plane: This too can be improvised using an 8" × 10" piece of glass (you will need to tape the edges), or an 8" × 10" piece of clear plastic, about 1⁄16" thick. Viewfinders: You will make these from black paper—“construction” paper is a good thickness, or you could use thin black cardboard. You will find instructions for making the viewfinders here A small mirror: About 5" × 7" that can be taped to a wall, or any available wall mirror.”
― Betty Edwards, quote from The New Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain


“I didn't flinch, I didn't move away, and I leaned into him. I wanted him to think that Grace would have loved him, because she would have.”
― Christine Zolendz, quote from Fall From Grace


“The main thing isn't knowing whether you're right or wrong. That really doesn't matter. The main thing is to keep people from bothering you.”
― Louis-Ferdinand Céline, quote from Death on the Installment Plan


“He could not tell her that he was angry because she did not love him. Even he could not utter such foolishness. Certainly, he did not love her. He did not love anyone except perhaps Isaac and a very few of his other children. Yet he wanted Anyanwu to be like his many other women and treat him like a god in human form, competing for his attention no matter how repugnant his latest body nor even whether he might be looking for a new body. They knew he took women almost as readily as he took men. Especially, he took women who had already given him what he wanted of them--usually several children. They served him and never thought they might be his next victims. Someone else. Not them.”
― Octavia E. Butler, quote from Wild Seed


“Prayer does nothing to alleviate suffering.”
― Shūsaku Endō, quote from Silence


Interesting books

Wooden on Leadership: How to Create a Winning Organization
(2.7K)
Wooden on Leadership...
by John Wooden
Boy Proof
(3K)
Boy Proof
by Cecil Castellucci
Breathe, Annie, Breathe
(7.6K)
Breathe, Annie, Brea...
by Miranda Kenneally
The Glass Arrow
(4.9K)
The Glass Arrow
by Kristen Simmons
The Finisher
(9.9K)
The Finisher
by David Baldacci
The Winter Sword
(74)
The Winter Sword
by Alaric Longward

About BookQuoters

BookQuoters is a community of passionate readers who enjoy sharing the most meaningful, memorable and interesting quotes from great books. As the world communicates more and more via texts, memes and sound bytes, short but profound quotes from books have become more relevant and important. For some of us a quote becomes a mantra, a goal or a philosophy by which we live. For all of us, quotes are a great way to remember a book and to carry with us the author’s best ideas.

We thoughtfully gather quotes from our favorite books, both classic and current, and choose the ones that are most thought-provoking. Each quote represents a book that is interesting, well written and has potential to enhance the reader’s life. We also accept submissions from our visitors and will select the quotes we feel are most appealing to the BookQuoters community.

Founded in 2023, BookQuoters has quickly become a large and vibrant community of people who share an affinity for books. Books are seen by some as a throwback to a previous world; conversely, gleaning the main ideas of a book via a quote or a quick summary is typical of the Information Age but is a habit disdained by some diehard readers. We feel that we have the best of both worlds at BookQuoters; we read books cover-to-cover but offer you some of the highlights. We hope you’ll join us.