Quotes from How To Talk To A Widower

“Sometimes you walk past a pretty girl on the street there's something beyond beauty in her face, something warm and smart and inviting, and in the three seconds you have to look at her, you actually fall in love, and in those moments, you can actually know the taste of her kiss, the feel of her skin against yours, the sound of her laugh, how she'll look at you and make you whole. And then she's gone, and in the five seconds afterwards, you mourn her loss with more sadness than you'll ever admit to. ”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower

“She was smart and funny and vulnerable and just so goddamned beautiful, the kind of beautiful that was worth being shot down over.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower

“You swear you’ll never become your parents. You listen to edgy music, you dress young and hip, you have sex standing up and on kitchen tables, you say “fuck” and “shit” a lot, and then one day, without warning, their words emerge from your mouth like long-dormant sleeper agents suddenly activated. You’re still young enough to hear these words through the ears of the teenager sitting beside you, and you realize how pitiful and ultimately futile your efforts will be, a few measly sandbags against the tidal wave of genetic destiny.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower

“I want to explain everything to him, show him that it’s really not as screwed up as it all sounds, but then I remember that it is.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower

“The sky is fucking with me. It's one of those militantly perfect spring days, the kind that seems to be trying just a little too hard, the kind you want to smack in the face, and the sky is bluer than it has any right to be, really, an obnoxious, overbearing blue that implies that staying home is a crime against humanity. Like I've got anywhere to go. The neighborhood is alive with gardeners mowing lawns and trimming hedges, the mechanized hiss of twirling sprinklers and for those just joining us, it's a beautiful day and Hailey is dead and I have nothing to do, nowhere to be.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower

“I was sprawled out in my usual position on the couch, half asleep but entirely drunk, torturing myself by tearing memories out of my mind at random like matches from a book, striking them one at a time and drowsily setting myself on fire.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower

“Pity, I've learned, is like a fart. You can tolerate your own, but you simply can't stand anyone else's.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower

“It’s life, that’s all. There are no happy endings, just happy days, happy moments. The only real ending is death, and trust me, no one dies happy. And the price of not dying is that things change all the time, and the only thing you can count on is that there’s not a thing you can do about it.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower

“Even betting against myself, I could always find a way to lose.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower

“In my defense, I was young and there was an open bar.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower

“The tears come to my eyes so fast, there's just no way to stop them.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower

“Wir sehen Menschen, die wir lieben, meist nur so, wie wir sie im Kopf haben. Hin und wieder aber erhaschen wir zufällig einen Blick darauf, wie sie in Wirklichkeit aussehen, und in den Sekundenbruchteilen, die unser Gehirn braucht, um sich auf die neue Realität einzustellen, kommen kleine Dinge in uns vom Weg ab und wirbeln schreiend irgendeinen Abhang hinunter.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower

“I may not beleive in God, but I believe in guilt and no one wants to dick around with eternity, even if it isn't there.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower

“But that's why you pay for insurance, right? If you never file a claim, then they've beaten you.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower

“But someday I'll fall in love again, right? I'll start over with someone, and maybe we'll buy a big old house with all this new money I have, and we'll have kids, and I'll be a professional writer, maybe even write some books. I'll have this whole great life, and it will be thanks to Hailey dying in a plane crash. And I don't know exactly at what point it will happen, but the time will come when I'll have crossed this line where maybe I wouldn't go back to save her, because I'll know that if it weren't for her dying, I wouldn't have this family I love, and this life I'm living. And the thought of that, of becoming the person who wouldn't go back to save her...”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower

“It’s rare for someone to say something to you, just a few words, really, and actually make you see yourself from a completely different vantage point.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower

“The point is, people become possessive of their grief, almost proud of it. They want to believe it’s like no one else’s. But it is. It’s exactly like everybody else’s. Grief is like a shark. It’s been around forever, and in that time there’s been just about no evolution. You know why?” “Why?” “Because it’s perfect just the way it is.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower

“The cop looks annoyed, like we're giving him a headache. I want to explain everything to him that its really not as screwed up as it all sounds, but then I remember that it is.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower

“This is just your time, son, that’s all. Your time to hurt and bleed and tear apart your notion of what makes you who you are. Life knocks us all on our ass at some point. And then we get back up, and we make some changes, because that’s what men do. We adapt. And when we’re done adapting, we’re better equipped to survive.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower

“There are no happy endings, just happy days, happy moments. The only real ending is death, and trust me, no one dies happy. And the price of not dying is that things change all the time, and the only thing you can count on is that there's not a thing you can do about it.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower

“I love Hailey and what we have works. Shes's beautiful, she's smart, she's a great mother, and she's heads above what I ever thought I could see in myself.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower

“Fate. Destiny. God. It’s all a crock. People want their lives to make sense, want to sit back like cosmic detectives and examine what’s happened to them so far, identifying the key turning points that shaped them and retroactively imbuing these moments with a mystical aura, like the celestial forces of the universe are a team of writers on the serialized television show of your life, charged with concocting outrageously convoluted plotlines designed to achieve resolution by the end of the season. No one wants to believe that it’s all completely random, that the direction of our lives is nothing more than a complex series of accidents, little nuclear mushroom clouds, and we’re just living in the fallout.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower

“I’d always assumed that the people who lived in those fancy houses in the suburbs were financially better off than I was, and only once I’d joined them did I come to understand that it’s all just a much more sophisticated and elaborate way of being broke. There’s the jumbo mortgage, the home equity loan to renovate the kitchen and bathrooms, the two or three monthly luxury car payments; before you know it, you’ve spent a hundred grand of post-tax income before you’ve put the first piece of bread on your table. Curse of the middle class, my ass. They do it to themselves, all because they’ve got this Hollywood Christmas movie notion of what their life is supposed to look like. It’s a tenuous existence built precariously on a foundation of colossal debt, and one miscalculation, one meager bonus or bad investment or unforeseen expense, can bring the whole thing crashing to the ground.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower

“I’m sorry.” I know it’s the universal default, but the problem is, one’s first knee-jerk response when someone says “I’m sorry” is to say “It’s okay.” We are programmed from kindergarten, from the first time the inevitable snot-nosed kid knocks over our blocks, to forgive. And it’s not okay, it’s as far from okay as it can really get, but there you are, tricked by a sociolinguistic tic into affirming that it is.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower

“You swear you’ll never become your parents. You listen to edgy music, you dress young and hip, you have sex standing up and on kitchen tables, you say “fuck” and “shit” a lot, and then one day, without warning, their words emerge from your mouth like long-dormant sleeper agents suddenly activated. You’re still young enough to hear these words through the ears of the teenager sitting beside you, and you realize how pitiful and ultimately futile your efforts will be, a few measly sandbags against the tidal wave of genetic destiny.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower

“Healing is a deeply private process and, honestly, you’re not welcome to be a part of it. But you will have given me a short furlough from the dark, sorry prison of my mind, and that gift, precious in its own right, is really the best you can hope to offer.”
― Jonathan Tropper, quote from How To Talk To A Widower

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