“We completely need him. Who else comes up with the plans?"
"Demos?"
"Yes, but he isn't hot, Nate. We talked about is.”
“When I'm done sorting out the Unit, Alex and I are going to have a little chat"
"Over my dead body"
"I'm thinking over his dead body.”
“What I'm trying to tell you, Lila,' he said, his voice husky in his throat, "is that I've always been there, looking out for you, even when you didn't know it - even when you couldn't see me."
My stomach flipped. Alex took hold of my hands and squeezed. "Nothing's changed. I'll be right there, I promise. You might not be able to see me, but I'll be there.”
“Damn Alex and his resolve. If I died a virgin, I’d never forgive him.”
“Something’s up,’ I say, handing the phone back.
‘Not necessarily,’ Jack says.
‘You think this is the first time Lila’s been hot-headed? Seriously, dude, you do remember my sister, right? Short, blonde, impulsive as shock therapy? Stubborn as a mule who won’t take no for an answer?’
Does Jack ever listen to himself?
Does he appreciate the irony of this statement? I shake my head at him in wonder.
‘Hey, I’m not short or blond,’ Jack protests as he catches the look on my face.”
“Jack stares at me blankly. ‘A what?’ he asks.
I choke back the laugh. ‘A boy. You know? A Y-chromosome holder? You don’t seem to notice them as much as you do the X-carriers.’
‘What are you talking about?’ Jack asks, ‘A boy? She’s just a kid.’
I hesitate, wondering how Jack is only just doing the maths on this one now. ‘She’s seventeen. She’s not a kid anymore.’
Jack looks like he’s about to go all Incredible Hulk and burst out of his clothes before rampaging through the bar. He jumps off the stool. ‘If any boy ever lays a finger on my sister, I’m going to kill him,’ he says.
Again I stare at him in silence, thinking of all the girls Jack has laid fingers and much more of his anatomy on besides. Poor Lila. If she ever wants to have a shot at a normal life, as in one that doesn’t require a vow of celibacy, she needs to stay in London.”
“Urgh, her,' Suki groaned. "Yeah, she's still with us. And she's still a pain in the culo. I'm learning Spanish,' she said brightly. "Culo means ass.”
“He smiled, a little smile, but the sight of it made my breathing speed up. "I've always needed you. For my entire life,' I said in a whisper,'and I'm always going to need you.”
“First I need to do something.’ He pulled me closer towards him until our lips were almost touching.
‘What might that be?’ I managed to stutter, closing my eyes, anticipating the warmth of his lips against mine. But the kiss didn’t come. I opened my eyes. Alex had jumped to his feet.
‘Swim,’ he said, grinning at me. ‘Come on.’
‘Swim?’ I pouted, unable to hide my disappointment that he wanted to swim rather than make out with me.
Alex pulled his T-shirt off in one swift move. My eyes fell straightaway to his chest – which was tanned, smooth and ripped with muscle, and which, when you studied it as I had done, in detail, you discovered wasn’t a six-pack but actually a twelve-pack.
My eyes flitted to the shadowed hollows where his hips disappeared into his shorts, causing a flutter in parts of my body that up until three weeks ago had been flutter-dormant. Alex’s hands dropped to his shorts and he started undoing his belt.
I reassessed the swimming option. I could definitely do swimming.
He shrugged off his shorts, but before I could catch an eyeful of anything, he was off, jogging towards the water. I paused for a nanosecond, weighing up my embarrassment at stripping naked over my desire to follow him. With a deep breath, I tore off my dress then kicked off my underwear and started running towards the sea, praying Nate wasn’t doing a fly-by.
The water was warm and flat as a bath. I could see Alex in the distance, his skin gleaming in the now inky moonlight. When I got close to him, his hand snaked under the water, wrapped round my waist and pulled me towards him. I didn’t resist because I’d forgotten in that instant how to swim. And then he kissed me and I prayed silently and fervently that he took my shudder to be the effect of the water.
I tried sticking myself onto him like a barnacle, but eventually Alex managed to pull himself free, holding my wrists in his hand so I couldn’t reattach. His resolve was as solid as a nuclear bunker’s walls. Alex had said there were always chinks. But I couldn’t seem to find the one in his armour. He swam two long strokes away from me. I trod water and stayed where I was, feeling confused, glad that the night was dark enough to hide my expression.
‘I’m just trying to protect your honour,’ he said, guessing it anyway.
I groaned and rolled my eyes. When was he going to understand that I was happy for him to protect every other part of me, just not my honour?”
“Her eyes suddenly went round. "Hang on. You shoved him!"
"She shoved him?"
I turned to glare at Nate.
"Yes. And she's always running off on him." Suki shook her head at me. "We'd treat him much better if he was ours-”
“Look on the bright side: if you cause an inferno, you can always put it out with a tidal wave.”
“I'm not stupid," I muttered lamely.
"Well, why else would you tell Alex to go anywhere? What will we do for eye candy now? Were you thinking of Nate at all? Were you thinking of me? I think you're incredibly selfish, Lila.”
“You just were so cold with me. And the nurse’s outfit didn’t seem to make any kind of impression.
Whatsoever. So I thought . . .’ I looked at the ground. ‘I thought you were only staying because you had promised me and then . . . when I asked you,
you didn’t deny it.’
‘You didn’t give me a chance to,’ he said, shaking his head at me. He took a step nearer. ‘And believe me the nurse’s outfit made an
impression.’ He took another step towards me, so he was just a few centimetres away. ‘A very big impression.”
“I cannot have this Imelda Marcos woman beating me, whoever she is,’ Suki shrugged by way of explanation.”
“I was aware of his lips. Like they held the answers to every bit of knowledge in the whole wide world and suddenly I wanted to be the oracle and know it all.”
“Si alguien me hubiera dicho hace un par de semanas que iba a estar en México con Alex y que él iba a estar caminando a través de la playa con una sonrisa en su cara, habiéndonos reservado una habitación, me habría caído muerta de la emoción. Habría necesitado desfribiladores para traerme de vuelta. Pero aquí estaba él, caminando a través de la arena hacía mí, y era mío. Y no había caído muerta. Al contrario, me sentía muy, muy viva.”
“—Lo que estoy tratando de decirte, Lila
—dijo él con su voz ronca en su garganta —, es que siempre he estado allí, cuidando de ti, incluso cuando tú no lo sabías, incluso cuando no podías verme.
Mi estómago dio un vuelco. Alex se apoderó de mis manos y apretó.
—Nada ha cambiado. Estaré ahí, lo prometo. Puede que no seas capaz de verme, pero yo estaré allí.”
“—No quise decir lo que dije, Alex. Por supuesto que te necesito. No puedo creer que no lo sepas. Te necesito tanto que cuando no estás a mí alrededor, duele. En realidad duele, físicamente. Aquí. —Me toqué entre las costillas, donde podía sentir mi corazón martillando—. Sólo puedo hacer esto por ti. Sólo estoy aquí por ti.”
“—Lo siento —dije. Alex abrió la boca para hablar y yo negué con la cabeza para detenerlo—. Alex, sólo escúchame. Necesito que entiendas. Cuando pensé que mi madre estaba muerta… su funeral… y los días posteriores, sólo conseguí lograrlo gracias a ti, porque estuviste justo a mi lado cuidándome. Y cuando mi padre me llevó a Londres, lo único que conseguía sacarme de la cama en la mañana, y a través de cada día en esa maldita escuela, era el pensamiento de que un día llegaría a verte de nuevo. Sólo saber que estabas por ahí, era suficiente. Así que, incluso antes de esto, incluso antes de que realmente comenzaras a rescatarme de los hombres malos con armas grandes, te necesitaba. He sido impulsiva y loca y aprovechado oportunidades toda mi vida porque siempre he sabido que estarías allí cuando las cosas fueran mal. Lo que pasa. Mucho.¿Recuerdas el lago? ¿El incidente del trineo? ¿El árbol en el patio trasero? Y ni siquiera hemos llegado a casi ser capturada por La Unidad en un Seven Eleven o recibir un disparo en Joshua Tree. Y en cada uno de esos momentos me has rescatado. Cada vez has estado allí. Eres como mi red de seguridad.”
“All men have stars, but they are not the same things for different people. For some, who are travelers, the stars are guides. For others they are no more than little lights in the sky. For others, who are scholars, they are problems... But all these stars are silent. You-You alone will have stars as no one else has them... In one of the stars I shall be living. In one of them I shall be laughing. And so it will be as if all the stars will be laughing when you look at the sky at night..You, only you, will have stars that can laugh! And when your sorrow is comforted (time soothes all sorrows) you will be content that you have known me... You will always be my friend. You will want to laugh with me. And you will sometimes open your window, so, for that pleasure... It will be as if, in place of the stars, I had given you a great number of little bells that knew how to laugh”
“Don’t think I haven’t noticed that you don’t wear the necklace I gave you with the fishbone charm on it. It’s for good luck.”
Harper frowned. “How can it give good luck? Things didn’t exactly go well for the fish.”
“At sunrise, everything is luminous but not clear”
“Telling people what they want to hear is not the same thing as winning”
“...he possessed for attractive form of courage: bravery of a nervous man. After all, any rash fool can be a hero if he sets no value on his life or hasn't the wit to appreciate the danger. But to understand the risks, perhaps even to flinch at first, but then summon the strength to face them down--that is my opinion is the most commendable for of value...”
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