“You'd be surprised how many people in the modern age no longer fear zombies as much as teletubies.”
“Nick - Psycho-ass? You're bringing psycho-ass back?
Zarek - That's Mister Psycho-ass to you, punk.”
“You must have had such a great childhood with a man like that for your father. (Delphine)
Yeah. All puppy dogs and rainbows and those weird furry people with padded coat hangers on their heads that look like space aliens on acid. (Jericho)
You mean the Teletubbies? (Berith)
The fact that you know what they're called, Berith, truly scares me. (Jericho)
As a demon of torture, it behooves me to know all things that are deeply annoying. You'd be amazed how many people in the modern age no longer fear zombies as much as Teletubbies. (Berith)
Not really. I'd rather battle a brain-eating zombie any day than hear them sing. (Jericho)”
“For the record, kid, Summoning a demon to kidnap her, not the best way to meet a woman. It usually backfires on you.”
“Menoeceus wants his father. (Astrid)
Bob is crying because he wants his mother to stop calling him that crap-ass name. It’s all right, Bob. Daddy’s got you now. I’m saving you from Mommy’s bad naming taste. I’d be crying, too, if my mom named me after an idiot. (Zarek)”
“Menoeceus is a great name. (Astrid)
For an old man or a feminine hygiene product. Not for my son. And next time I get to name the kid and it won’t be something that sounds like meningitis. (Zarek)
You keep that up and next time you’ll be the one birthing it, and don’t mess with me, bucko, I have connections in that department. A pregnant man is not an impossibility in my neighborhood. (Astrid)”
“If you or one of the blind fools who follows you honestly believe you can...bring it on. I'm in the mood for Slaughter. Killing and Murder, too.
~ Jericho a.k.a. Cratus”
“Oh, gah, I’ve been slimed. (Jericho)
It’s not slime. It’s a baby kiss. (Delphine)
It's slime. (Zarek)”
“If you really love her, Cratus, let her know it every day. And always put her before you and your wants just as you’ve done here today. Take it from someone who knows. Love lost is the hardest burden to shoulder, and it’s one you can never get under. (Artemis)”
“That’s why I have Jericho, Jared, and Zarek. (Acheron)
Psycho-ass? You’re bringing Psycho-ass back? (Nick)
That’s Mister Psycho-ass to you, punk. (Zarek)”
“May the gods have mercy on whoever pisses them off, because Zarek and Jericho will have none for them. (Madoc)
You’d better be glad I’m flattered by that. Otherwise I’d gut you. (Zarek)
Ditto. (Jericho)”
“This is the Malachai? (Jericho)
In all his pain in the ass glory. (Acheron)
Are we through now, Dad? Can I go play with my friends if I promise to be a good boy? I’ll even try and make it home by curfew. (Nick)”
“Take this. (Jericho)
(He slid the ring off his finger and handed it to him.)
I’m not about to marry your ugly ass, boy. No offense, but you ain’t my type. I like my dates with less body hair…and with female parts attached by nature. (Asmodeus)”
“So if the punks come here, they’re going to dance with the devil and get the short end of the horn. (Zarek)
No one better than my Zarek to rip someone’s head off. You two should get along famously. (Astrid)”
“Yeah, well, I’ll be glad to birth it if it means I can name him something normal. (Zarek)
Yeah, yeah. This from a man who whines like a two-year-old when he stubs his toe. I’d like to see you survive ten hours of childbirth. (Astrid)”
“Here we are. Maybe I should warn you before we enter...(Asmodeus)
(Jericho stepped past him and threw open the door.)
Or maybe not. Let’s just barge in and be surprised, shall we? (Asmodeus)”
“Believe me, I know and I almost made the same mistake you did. Evil is seductive. It’s what makes the two of them so dangerous. (Jericho)
No. It’s our willingness to believe their lies and to see what we want to see that makes it so dangerous. Even when we know better, we lie to ourselves and that’s where the true betrayal is. (Jared)”
“I, for one, am exhausted. I’ve been threatened, beaten, bitten and killed, and that was just in the last hour. (Jericho)”
“Are you always this random? (Jericho)
Mostly. It really irritates Noir. Which is just an added bonus for me. At least so long as I can outrun him. (Asmodeus)
Add me to that list of people you annoy. (Jericho)
Oh. You’re not going to singe my testicles over it, are you?! (Asmodeus)
No plans to. (Jericho)
Good. We can be friends, then. (Asmodeus)”
“Look what you did. (Jericho snapped at Zarek.) I broke it. (Jericho)”
“In the land of badass, you’ve just been trumped. If Dark-Hunters had inmates, these would be they. Known as the Dogs of War because that’s what they thrive on, they’re cold-blooded and intolerant. Congratulations, bud, these are your new protectors. (Acheron)”
“Nick glowered at Ash. "Are we through now, Dad? Can I go play with my friends if I promise to be a good boy? I'll even try and make it home by curfew."
Ash laughed evilly. "Oh, absolutely, son. In fact, here come your new playmates now.”
“Any time you need an expert parental hand- (Zarek)
I’ll find Jericho. (Astrid)
Um, could you at least wait until that thing’s housebroken? (Jericho)”
“Technical advisor. Since you know our enemies so well, we’re going to pick your brain. (Jericho)
I’ll tell you what you want to know. There's no need to torture me for it. (Asmodeus)
Pick your brain is an idiomatic expression, Asmodeus. It means we’ll have you tell us things. We’re not actually going in there to mess with your head. (Delphine)
Oh, thank the Source. I can’t stand it when someone opens my skull. It really hurts. (Asmodeus)”
“I want my fluff-fluff! (Bob)
Fluff-fluff… (Zarek looked panicked.) (Zarek)”
“I don’t feel brave, especially not right now. (Delphine)
That’s what bravery is, especially for a woman not used to having emotions. When you feel deep, paralyzing fear and you don’t let it stop you, that is true courage. There’s never been bravery without fear. Just as there’s no love without hate. (M'Adoc)”
“I can’t believe I was ever stupid enough to trust Noir. Come to the dark side. We have cookies. (Zeth)”
“As the great poet wrote, ‘To thine own self be true.’…What? You don’t think a Skotos can be literate? I happen to love Shakespeare. Hamlet is one of my faves. (Zeth)
I’m not touching that one with tongs and a gas mask. (Jericho)”
“Why would you do that? (Delphine)
Why do you think? (Jericho)
Because I’m a bossy hag and you’d rather be enslaved to a man you hate than deal with me. (Delphine)
You know…you’re not funny. (Jericho)
I think I’m hysterical. (Delphine)”
“What are you? Stupid? Of course they have a guard. What part of ‘You’re a prisoner’ did you miss? (Delphine)”
“So what’s up?” Hale asked. “Is it your dad? Has he decided to kill me? I live in fear he’s going to wake up one day and realize I don’t deserve you.”
“He won’t kill you,” Kat said.
“You’re right. He’ll just…steal me and stash me someplace until you’re thirty.”
“That’s okay,” Kat said, and Hale pulled back, chagrined.
“It is?” he said with mock indignation.
So Kat stood on her tiptoes and kissed him quick and hard. “Yeah. I’d just steal you back.”
“My mother forbad us to walk backwards. That is how the dead walk, she would say. Where did she get this idea? Perhaps from a bad translation. The dead, after all, do not walk backwards but they do walk behind us. They have no lungs and cannot call out but would love for us to turn around. They are victims of love, many of them.”
“Other folk thought the Rage was simple bloodlust, a berserk savagery that neither knew nor cared what its target was, and so it was when it struck without warning. But when a hradani gave himself to it knowingly, it was as cold as it was hot, as rational as it was lethal. To embrace the Rage was to embrace a splendor, a glory, a denial of all restraint but not of reason. It was pure, elemental purpose, unencumbered by compassion or horror or pity, yet it was far more than mere frenzy.”
“Hey beautiful,” Trey answers, sounding exhausted.
“Hey you.” My heart clenches in my chest from the sound of his voice.
He breathes heavily. “I’m sitting here, shirt off, beer in hand, TV on, and I feel so fucking empty.” The image of him lying on the couch we bought together, his beautiful body stretched out across the cushions, makes me ache in places I haven’t ached in a long time. I want him so bad. “I’m missing my girl tucked against my chest.”
“I would give anything to be there right now,” I answer honestly.
Sighing, he asks, “Remember that piece of spaghetti I threw on the ceiling the night before you left?”
“Yeah.” I smile to myself, thinking about that night. Trey insisted upon making spaghetti and meatballs for me. He came home with a grocery bag full of pasta, spaghetti sauce, and pre-made meatballs. When cooking the noodles, he told me an “old wives’ tale.” He said if you throw the noodles to the ceiling and it sticks, then the pasta is done. What he didn’t realize is if that pasta never comes down, you overcooked it.
“It fell this morning. Scared the shit out of me. I thought it was a spider trying to bury itself in my hair while I was making eggs.”
A laugh bursts out of me as I think about Trey bouncing around the apartment, spaghetti in hair thinking it was a spider. “Oh no. Miss Pasta-relli finally fell?”
“She did and that squirrely bitch knew exactly what she was doing, too. Trying to scare the crap right out of me.”
“Seems like she did.” I chuckle.
“But I got the last laugh when I turned the trash compactor on. Her little pasta self squiggled down the drain. Revenge never felt so sweet.”
Still laughing, I shake my head. “Is this what your life has come to? Fighting with old, overcooked pasta?”
“I’m telling you, Amelia, with you gone, I’ve lost my damn mind.”
“Sounds like it”
“that a man must learn to forgive—to know what is important, that”
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