Bury Your Gays

On a long enough timeline, endings are inevitable. Tragedy is inevitable. Fortunately, so is joy.

You know who the real villain is?” I continue, strolling through the lobby and joining a line of other writers, directors, cinematographers, and actors as they filter inside to find their seats. “Unchecked capitalism and the desire for capitalist systems to monetize other people’s trauma.

The beats of this particular story are music to my ears, and I'm certainly not complaining, but they're not the beats I'm used to. Then again, not everything has a perfect structure: a beginning, middle, and end. Not every tale has an act-three synthesis and a dark night of the soul. Sometimes life just is.

Night of the Living Dead isn’t really about zombies, it’s about racism. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is littered with pro-vegetarian subtext, and They Live is more about rampant consumerism than aliens.” “But ghosts aren’t real,” Seth argues. “He wasn’t actually in danger.” “Zombies, Leatherface, and space invaders aren’t real, either,” I counter. “But racism, factory farming, and unchecked corporate greed are.

They say you know it’s love when someone offers to drive you to LAX, and right now I’m feeling the love. Most relationships would fall apart if you put them through the high-performance stress test that is currently my life, but for some reason all this tension only serves to make Zeke step up even more. Do I deserve it? Probably not.

Your stories aren't worth your life." My stories are my life, I think, but I don't say this.

I'm gonna be real with you," I reply. "I don't give a shit.

The same goes for fear, though. You don’t wanna feel that way all the time, but it’s a muscle that needs to be exercised. There are scary things in the world, that’s just a fact, and if you pretend they’re not all around us then you’re in for a rude awakening. Horror offers a chance to recognize this truth, to explore dark places in a safe way.

Anxiety comes and goes as it pleases.

We've got trans Mothman, we've got a gay goblin, we've got bi Mrs. Why.

I'm honestly kind of surprised. You've got a flair for drama, Misha. I thought you might get hard over some final sacrifice for love, or whatever. I mean, you're the writer, not me, but that's got Emmy written all over it." "Bury your gays." I reply, utterly deadpan. Jack rolls his eyes. In film, in TV, in books... the queer characters never get a happy ending," I press. "Sometimes they're the first to go, other times they make some brave sacrifice in the finale, but it always ends in tragedy and death. That's why it's called bury your gays.

It's not just about telling queer stories... It's about telling all kinds of queer stories. Yes, there can be tragedy and death and darkness. There's an important place for that. But don't forget about queer beauty and queer catharsis and queer joy. Every gay character doesn't need to die in the first scene, or in a third act blaze of glory to save everyone else. Support queer heroes, not just on screen, but off screen, too.

This is how scary stories work, how horror works. We’re all still here, safe and alive. We’ve had that primal rush and exercised those muscles to remind us death is eventually coming for everyone, but not today.

I call on all of you to usher in a new era of stories where the gay, or bi, or lesbian, or asexual, or pansexual, or trans character lives happily ever after. Buy those stories. Make those stories profitable.

Sometimes kindness is a duty, a job that one sets out to accomplish with time and patience and effort. People who feel this way, myself included, fight against some other gnawing instinct within; we bloom like a flower from the dirt. It's an honorable thing to strive for, and there's nothing bad I can say about that kind of growth. Other folks, however, don't even think about it. There's some uncanny spark that always pushes them to make the right choice, because they're not even aware a choice exists. It's just what they do.

The path I've been led down is one of senseless catastrophe, a classic Hollywood tale of the man who plummets to rock bottom just moments before he would have crested the peak. [...] I'm living out this queer tragedy as they write it for me - just one more tormented, half-in-the closet gay character whose dark descent can serve as a cautionary tale AND move tickets. But that's certainly not the only queer genre convention out there, no by a long shot. And while tragedies are important stories to tell, our appetite can be satiated with more than just suffering. If the story is good, it will find an audience. Whether it's a tragedy or a triumph doesn't matter.

Horror stories aren’t just the things we want to see, they’re the things we need to see

In film, in TV, in books … the queer characters never get a happy ending,” I press. “Sometimes they’re the first to go, other times they make some brave sacrifice in the finale, but it always ends in tragedy and death. That’s why it’s called bury your gays.

The sound of sharpening knives trickles through my phone in response, dancing across my ears. “You know who the real villain is?” I continue, strolling through the lobby and joining a line of other writers, directors, cinematographers, and actors as they filter inside to find their seats. “Unchecked capitalism and the desire for capitalist systems to monetize other people’s trauma.

Some events are timeless, I guess, stuck between past, present, and future. They're a different color than the rest. A different scale. A different tense.

The studio might be a ruthless capitalist machine," he opines, "but we're not evil.

On a long enough timeline

Lots of people are legends

Nobody has to be a hero for anyone else

I’m living out this queer tragedy as they write it for me

I know how it feels,” I finally continue. “It’s no fun when your plotline goes sideways

Another tale of queer tragedy,” I sigh. “Hooray for Hollywood.