Blue Smoke

Why couldn't the merciful God turn down the sunlight so it wasn't blasting like a red furnace against his aching eyes? Because he'd worshipped the god of beer, thats why. He'd broken a commandment and worshipped the false and foamy god of beer. And now he was being punished.

Dinner's in one hour. If you're not back, sitting at the table, I'll beat you all unconscious with a spatula.

Look, if some guy dressed in his mother's clothes breaks in, fight him off until I get my pants back on.

A woman,' Smithy said with a sigh when they drove away. 'It's always over a woman.' 'Hey, don't blame my breed for the stupidity of yours.

It's Salvation. When Jen told me I had a vision. A vision Rena. I think I saw the blessed mother smiling and she was hold ing a loofa. [In regards to moving out of dorms and having three bathrooms between 4 roomates]

I think there's a reason you moved in next door. I think there's a reason I saw you all those years ago, but didn't meet you until now. I don't think I was ready for you until now.

Why did they make babies so damn small? And loud. Surely better arrangements could be made for the propagation of the human race.

She started to sound like Charlie Brown's mother to him. Just a nasal wah-wah-wah. He loved her, he really did, but he imagined Charlie Brown loved his mother, too. It didn't make her any more comprehensible.