A Whisper of Solace

I love you and so nothing can touch you, Neve. And if you love me, it makes me immortal. The universe will move and make space for us, for this love. Believe me.

Some people are simply adopted by others, and they’re friends now and there’s nothing to be done about that.

Ask me again. Please.” Helena shook her head indulgently, but her voice was sad when she asked. “What do you call Audrey, Neve?” Neve closed her eyes and murmured the truth.  “My everything.

This pattern that I have. Of reaching for comfort in the well-known pain because the fear of change is greater.

I was lost, dear heart. I’d been lost since I was eight years old, and I was not willing to be found. Until somehow, against all odds, in came you, and you pulled at me and pushed me, until I opened up enough to let you in. I had to fight my demons to do that, and there were dark times in between, but there was no looking back for me. Once you were in my heart, I was found.

I denied myself happiness, denied myself love and passion and devotion, out of fear of losing. Out of fear of being abandoned again.

It’s the Leidensdruck concept. The literal translation is ‘the pressure of suffering’. What the concept suggests is that the suffering inherent in not acting must exceed the suffering one expects to experience if one acts. That the ‘Leidensdruck’, the pressure has to be high enough to become the impetus for moving forward, for change.

I am not thinking about her, and I can’t stop thinking that there are exactly twenty-one blocks between where I am and where she is.

Barnaby’s whispered, “Lesbians, now watch them stay besties forever after having the most dramatic breakup in the history of breakups,” sounded particularly loud.

Basically, the known pain has to be much greater than the anticipated pain and the fear of the unknown to motivate the person to finally confront their fear? Apt.

It’s a German word and a psychological term. The literal translation is ‘the pressure of suffering’, but as with all things German, nothing is quite that easy about understanding the phenomenon. What the concept suggests is that the suffering inherent in not acting must exceed the suffering one expects to experience if one acts. That the ‘Leidensdruck’, the pressure has to be high enough to become the impetus for moving forward, for change.

Leidensdruck. It’s the Leidensdruck concept

How does one even define happiness, and if I can’t define it, how can I actively pursue it?

There are so many ways to hurt a child without raising a hand, mother…

She’d start with the most obvious fear. Was it grounded in internalized homophobia