Forbidden

You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.

I mean, at the end of the day, what the hell does it matter who I end up with if it can't be you?

At the end of the day it's about how much you can bear, how much you can endure. Being together, we harm nobody; being apart, we extinguish ourselves.

At what point do you give up - decide enough is enough? There is only one answer really. Never.

How can something so wrong feel so right?

As the light begins to intensify, so does my misery, and I wonder how it is possible to hurt so much when nothing is wrong.

Out of the millions and millions of people that inhabit this planet, he is one of the tiny few I can never have.

It's always nice being wanted. Even if it's by the wrong person.

I might appear confident and chatty, but I spend most of my time laughing at jokes I don't find funny, saying things I don't really mean - because at the end of the day that's what we're all trying to do: fit in, one way or another, desperately trying to pretend we're all the same.

He is my soul mate, my fresh air, the reason I look forward to getting up every morning.

There are no laws, no boundaries on feelings.We can love each other as much and as deeply as we want.No one, Maya, no one can ever take that away from us.

You've always been my best friend, my soul mate, and now I've fallen in love with you too. Why is that such a crime?

It's horrible being ashamed of someone you care about; it eats away at you. And if you let it get to you, if you give up the fight and surrender, eventually that shame turns to hate.

But I don't want to be fine, not if it means she's going to let go of my hand; not if it means we're going to go back to being polite strangers.

This is the definition of happiness: a whole day stretching out ahead of me, beautiful in its emptiness and simplicity.

I can’t tell you. I can’t tell you of all people. Throughout my life you were the one person I could turn to. The one person I could always count on to understand. And now that I’ve lost you, I’ve lost everything.

This whole time, my whole life, that harsh, stony path was leading up to this one point. I followed it blindly, stumbling along the way, scraped and weary, without any idea of where it was leading, without ever realizing that with every step I was approaching the light at the end of a very long, dark tunnel. And now that I've reached it, now that I'm here, I want to catch it in my hand, hold onto it forever to look back on - the point at which my new life really began.

At what point does a fly give up trying to escape through a closed window–do its survival instincts keep it going until it is physicaly capable of no more,or does it eventualy learn after one crash too many that there is no way out? At what point do you decide that enough is enough?

Being together, we harm nobody; being apart, we extinguish ourselves.

And this is something I must accept - even if, like acid on metal, it is slowly corroding me inside.

How-how can we make it against the whole world?

Because at the end of the day that’s what we’re all trying to do: fit in, one way or another, desperately trying to pretend we’re all the same.

Before there was anything, there was Lochan.

I don't know when it started - this thing - bit it's growing, muffling me, suffocating me like poison ivy. I grew into it. It grew into me. We blurred at the edges, became an amorphous, seeping, crawling thing.

I am overcome by a feeling of complete detachment. I am a mere object to these people. I am barely human any more.

He shakes his head with a slow smile. You'd better be right. If the phone rings, I'm unpluggining it, I swear to God-“ You'd do that to your five-year-old sister?“ I gasp in mock outrage. For one whole night alone? Jesus, Maya, I'd sell her to the gypsies!

He will think Lochan wasn't loved, but he was, more deeply than most people are in a lifetime.

Do I realy regret that night? That one moment of joy beyond compare – some people never experience it in a lifetime. But the downside to that taste of pure happiness is that,like a drug, a glimmer of paradise, it leaves you craving more.

We can love each other.' I swallow hard to ease the constriction in my throat. 'There are no laws, no bundaries on feelings. We can love each other as much and as deeply as we want. No one, Maya, no one can never take that away from us.

I love you in–in every kind of way.’ ‘I feel like that too . . .’ His voice is shocked and raw. ‘It’s – it’s a feeling so big I sometimes think it’s going to swalow me. It’s so strong I feel it could kil me. It keeps growing and I can’t – I don’t know what to do to stop it. But – but we’re not supposed to do this – to love each other like this!