Rush

Of course. I died today, and now I'm going to fight aliens with a light saber. Maybe after that we can look for mermaids. Or unicorns." "No," he says. "Just aliens." Was that the barest hint of humour in his tone?

What are you doing?" "Activating it." "Uh... No you're not." I jerk my hand away. "You're not activating anything until I get some answers." "Yeah, I am. If I don't activate it, it explodes." He sounds dead serious. "For real?" He doesn't answer, and that pisses me off. But I can't be certain it isn't for real, and since I'm fond of having a hand at the end of my arm, I offer my wrist. He finishes running his fingers over the screen. I change direction and ask, "Would the bracelet really have exploded if you didn't activate it?" There's a slight pause that makes me think I've surprised him by shifting topics. Good. Better that I have him on his toes than he have me on mine. "No," he says, and I think the corners of his mouth twitch in the hint if a smile.

Fire bursts inside me. My lips part under his. Coming up on my toes, I fist my hands in his hair and kiss him back, sharing the flames that lick at my soul. I breathe as he breathes, liquid heat in my veins. He kisses me like I am water and he is parched. He is gentle and rough, taking and giving. In that moment, his kiss is all I know, all I ever want to know. I come up higher on my toes and my lips cling to his as he pulls away. I'm left shaken and out of my element. I've never been kissed like that. I never imagined such a kiss existed.

Eyes closed, I concentrate on visualizing a sandy beach and slowing my breathing—in through my nose, hold, out through my mouth—the way Dr. Andrews, my grief counselor, taught me. I've done this often enough to know it works. I've used it to numb the panic and sorrow for the past two years. Problem is, I've also succeeded in dulling pretty much every other emotion. There's always a price.

I look down and feel a sort of distant horror as I see a body that is mine but not mine. My limbs are bent at odd angles. Shards of bone poke out though my skin. When I try to move, I realize that I feel no pain because I feel nothing. Nothing at all. And no matter how hard I try, I can't move anything but my head. I'm broken, like Luka. Broken and bloody. The thought feels hazy, as though it ought to mean more to me than it does.

You stay close to me, Mikki Jones. Close enough that I can hear you breathe. Got it? " "You always take care of new recruits?" "Never