Our Spoons Came from Woolworths

She cleared her throat once or twice, and said something about poor people should eat a lot of herrings, as they were most nutritious, also she had heard poor people eat heaps of sheeps' heads and she went on to ask if I ever cooked them. I said I would rather be dead than cook or eat a sheep's head; I'd seen them in butchers' shops with awful eyes and bits of wool sticking to their skulls. After that helpful hints for the poor were forgotten.

I had a kind of idea if you controlled your mind and said, 'I won't have any babies' very hard, they most likely wouldn't come. I thought that was what was meant by birth-control, but by this time I knew that idea was quite wrong.

I dreaded going to the farm, but when I arrived there, it was very much better than I expected. Things one dreads usually are: it's only the things we look forward to that go all wrong.

I began to feel frightened and depressed, and thought, 'This is my punishment for being an adulteress.' Then I remembered I was even poorer before I was one, so perhaps it was a punishment for something I had forgotten.

Tenía la idea de que, si ejercías un control mental y te decías muy seria: «No tendré hijos», seguramente no vendrían.

Escribía y era una intelectual de marca mayor, le interesaban mucho los derechos de la mujer pero le desagradaban los niños, los recién nacidos en particular, aunque puede que fuera porque ella no los había tenido ni podía tenerlos ya, puesto que Simeon, su marido, la había dejado.

Habría dado cualquier cosa por pasear por una de esas típicas calles londinenses, con casas de sucios ladrillos amarillos a los lados, altas casas pareadas con un tramo de escalones hasta la puerta y barandillas y verjas de hierro que parecen enjaular unos arbustos ralos y desgreñados, y, de vez en cuando, un gato dormido en un alféizar.

Then he said, "I'm going to be honest with you. I expect you have a pretty good idea of what I'm going to say, and have realized I don't love you anymore. I am very fond of you, but I loathe this domestic life. The children are quite beautiful, but they don't mean a thing to me. I don't feel like a father and have never wanted to be one. I may be inhuman and selfish, but I must be, life is so short, and the young part of our lives is going so quickly. I must be free to enjoy it and not be weighed down by all these responsibilities ." I said, "Did you often go to Peter Pan when you were a child?

All the golden guineas had gone now and we only had the little I earned as a model. With this we had to pay for food, light and heat, and laundry and of course rent. Sometimes we were several weeks behind and the landlady would ask us for money each time we went in or out of the house. I would hear her talking about us to the other people who lived on the floor below and felt dreadfully ashamed. Charles did not mind. He just said she was a silly old bitch. As soon as Charles started to paint he forgot about the cold and money worries. That is how artists should be, but I was only a commercial artist, so I went on worrying.

Eva was rather impressed that we had made all the necessary arrangements. I did not tell her that I would shortly be leaving my job, because already she had said that penniless people had no right to have children. She didn’t seem to think it was Charles’s baby — only mine, because later on, when I was upstairs putting on my coat, she kissed me quite kindly, but spoilt it by saying, ‘I shall never forgive you, Sophia, for making my son a father at twenty-one.’ I almost added, ‘And you a grandmother at forty-six.