Quotes from Confessions of a Crap Artist

“The household was pervaded by this atmosphere of a calm adult woman and a man who gave into animal impulses. She reported to him in great detail what her analyst ... said about his binges and his hostility; she used Charley's money to pay Dr. Andrews to catalog his abnormalities. And of course Charley never heard anything directly from the doctor; he had no way of keeping her from reporting what served her and holding back what did not. The doctor, too, had no way of getting to the truth of what she told him; no doubt she only gave him the facts that suited her picture, so that the doctor's picture of Charley was based on what she wanted him to know. By the time she had edited both going and coming there was little of it outside her control.”
― Philip K. Dick, quote from Confessions of a Crap Artist

“She makes life over, he realized. She controls life, whereas I just sit on my can and let it happen to me.”
― Philip K. Dick, quote from Confessions of a Crap Artist

“On one hand she seems so agile, so athletic, and yet I've seen her appear so awkward that it embarrassed me. She gives the impression of a hard, worldly adroitness, and in some situations she's like an adolescent: rigid with ancient, middle class attitudes, unable to think for herself, falling back on old verities...victim of her family teaching, shocked by what shocks people, wanting what people usually want. She wants a home, a husband, and her idea of a husband is a man who earns a certain amount of money, helps around the garden, does the dishes...the idea of a good husband that's found in This Week magazine; a viewpoint from the most ordinary stratum, that great ubiquitous world of family life, transmitted from generation to generation. Despite her wild language.”
― Philip K. Dick, quote from Confessions of a Crap Artist

“There is certainly no hope left of getting away. And it isn't even terrible; it's possibly funny, if even that. It's embarrassing. That's all. A little embarrassing to realize that I no longer control my life, that the major decisions have already been made, long before I was conscious that any change was occurring.”
― Philip K. Dick, quote from Confessions of a Crap Artist

“But in the end I decided against it. The hell with the newspapers. Nobody reads the letters to the editor column except more nuts. The whole world is full of nuts. It's enough to get you down.”
― Philip K. Dick, quote from Confessions of a Crap Artist

“– Зачем ты приехал сюда? спросила миссис Хэмбро. Тебе известна причина твеого переезда в Дрейкз-Лендинг?
Я покачал головой.
– Сила свела нас вместе, сказала она. Сейчас во всем мире формируются группы. Они получают одно и то же сообщение: страдайте и через боль спасайте мир. Христос не только страдал за наши грехи, но и показал нам путь. Мы должны последовать его примеру. Нас поднимут на крест, и мы получим вечную жизнь.
Она выпустила дым через ноздри.
– Христос родился на другой планете. Он был более развитой расы. Земля самая отсталая планета во Вселенной. Ночью, когда я лежу без сна, мне транслируют сообщения. Иногда они пугают меня. Как-то раз наши братья по разуму начали открывать мне клапаны в голове вот тут и вот тут.
Она показала эти места.
– Я услышала ужасный шум, самый громки шум, который я когда-либо слышала. Он оглушил меня. Ты знаешь, что это было? Спуск космического посоха Аарона! Он возник передо мной прямо в воздухе. После этого я не могу смотреть на солнце без очков. Интенсивность космических лучей слишком велика. Она сжигает наши умы. К концу мая интенсивность достигнет максимальной величины. Затем, по мнению ученых, наступит конец света. Полюса планеты поменяются местами. Ты знаешь, что случится? Сан-Франциско совместится с Лос-Анджелесом.
– Да, я знаю.
Мне доводилось читать об этом в газете.
– Самые развитые существа живут на солнце, продолжила миссис Хэмбро. Они контактируют с моим мозгом каждую ночь. Меня посвящают в знания. Скоро я узнаю тайну Вселенной. Головокружительная перспектива.”
― Philip K. Dick, quote from Confessions of a Crap Artist

“Llegué a la conclusión de que no había tenido conciencia (...), que sólo sabía que cuando regresara a casa (...) habría cambios importantes que él mismo se encargaría de provocar. Y dichos cambios afectarían a toda criatura viviente de la casa. Mató a los animales para demostrar que lo que hacía era importante. Que era capaz de hacer algo irreparable.”
― Philip K. Dick, quote from Confessions of a Crap Artist

“Siempre que hablaba de ti, en realidad, no describía nada. Como si nunca te viera realmente. Como si nadie fuera real de verdad para mí.”
― Philip K. Dick, quote from Confessions of a Crap Artist

“Posiblemente quiero que muera porque ya no lo quiero; ya no le necesito más. De forma deliberada me involucré contigo (...) sin mostrar ninguna preocupación por terceros, ni siquiera por ti, para conseguirte, porque eres un buen material como marido y yo necesito un marido nuevo ahora que he agotado al anterior. Y si te quedas conmigo, te trataré igual que lo traté a él. Volverá a ser lo mismo otra vez.”
― Philip K. Dick, quote from Confessions of a Crap Artist

“La diferencia entre nosotros y los animales es que nosotros podemos emplear palabras. ¿Correcto? Nosotros expandimos nuestro entorno. Aprendemos a través de la palabra escrita. Jamás llegaríamos a saber nada sobre lugares lejanos como Siam si no pudiéramos leer.”
― Philip K. Dick, quote from Confessions of a Crap Artist

“Apuesto a que te dijo que fue "el destino el que te trajo aquí", ¿verdad? Creen que son peones en manos de seres superiores, cuando en realidad son peones en manos de sus propias subconscientes, que se han desbocado.”
― Philip K. Dick, quote from Confessions of a Crap Artist

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“It’s funny, but when I talk about this business of my father and Valentina with my women friends, they’re absolutely appalled. They see a vulnerable old man who’s being exploited. Yet all the men I talk to—without any exception, Mike” (I wag my finger) “they respond with these wry knowing smiles, these little admiring chuckles. Oh, what a lad he is. What an achievement, pulling this much younger bird. Best of luck to him. Let him have his bit of fun.”
“You must admit, it’s done him good.”
“I don’t admit anything.”
(It’s much less satisfying arguing with Mike than with Vera or Pappa. He’s always so irritatingly reasonable.)
“Are you sure you’re not just being a bit puritanical?”
“Of course I’m not!” (So what if I am?) “It’s because he’s my father—I just want him to be grown up.”
“He is being grown up, in his way.”
“No he’s not, he’s being a lad. An eighty-four-year-old lad. You’re all being lads together. Wink wink. Nudge nudge. What a great pair of knockers. For goodness’ sake!” My voice has risen to a shriek.
“But you can see it’s doing him good, this new relationship. It’s breathed new life into him. Just goes to show that you’re never too old for love.”
“You mean for sex.”
“Well, maybe that as well. Your Dad is just hoping to fulfil every man’s dream—to lie in the arms of a beautiful younger woman.”
“Every man’s dream?”
That night Mike and I sleep in separate beds.”
― Marina Lewycka, quote from A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian

“There on the landing sits the typewriter. It is clogged with dust, the ribbon dried and flimsy. Looking at it gives Felix a feeling close to vertigo. He realises he can replicate in his head the exact sound it used to make. The clac-clac-a-clac of the metal letters hitting the paper, the ribbon raising itself each time to make the impression. The machine-gun fire of it, when the work was going well. The stops and pauses when it wasn't, to allow for a sigh, a draw on a cigarette. The ding every time the carriage reached its limit. The whirr as the page was snatched out, then the rolling ratcheting as a new one was wound in.”
― Maggie O'Farrell, quote from The Hand That First Held Mine

“Around here news travels faster than mono, and by the end of the day, the whole school had heard about Todd's and my standoff with Principal Miller and Maggie Klein. By the time the story circulated and came back around to me, I had apparently bitch-slapped Maggie Klein and then tongued Todd in front of Principal Miller.
Oh, and Mom was a former showgirl in an all-gay revue.”
― Kristin Walker, quote from A Match Made in High School

“Calcutta's the only city I know where you are actively encouraged to stop strangers at random for a quick chat.”
― Tahir Shah, quote from Sorcerer's Apprentice

“I knew even then, the first time that I saw you, that I loved you.”
― Jack Whyte, quote from Uther

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