Tempted

The past doesn't change no matter how much time you spend thinking about it. Good and bad all add up to the whole. Take away one piece, no matter how small, and the whole changes. Whether it's optimism, pessimism or fatalism, I don't spend my time wishing for the past to be different so present would be different, too. I control my future with what I choose now.

When everything changes we learn who we really are. What’s really important. What we want most. We discover the truth in moments of disarray.

There are few times when we know with absolute certainty we are going to do something for the last time. Life has a way of moving in circles, bringing us back to places we didn’t expect and taking us away from those we do. There are too many times we don’t pay close enough attention, and moments are lost in our assumption we’ll have another chance.

I looked at the cards in my hand, the queen of hearts nestled between the king of clubs and the king of spades. No wonder she was smiling.

Good things, by their nature, are fleeting. It’s those that bring us grief that linger.

If you want to know how someone really feels, you almost never have to ask.

I didn’t fall in love with James. Falling sounds like an accident. Falling hurts. I’d fallen in love with Michael, fallen hard like slipping off a cliff and hitting the rocks below. Falling in love was something I’d vowed never to do again. I chose to love James.

Darkness reveals as much as it hides, sometimes.

Let him go. Let one of them go. Knowing it and doing it, two separate accomplishments. Let one man go. The question had to be, which one?

Perfection is too high a goal to strive for. Sometimes working hard brings more satisfaction in the end.

Individually there were things we lacked, but together we were perfect.

When you love someone, seeing them in pain can be harder than being in pain yourself.

Sometimes the picture someone else paints of us is a more accurate portrayal than a reflection. What we see in the mirror is always reversed. A portrait not only allows us to see our own faces, but how it looks to others.

We discover the truth in moments of disarray.

Feeling pressured into doing something I didn’t want to do for people I didn’t want to please.

heavy with The Cure and Depeche Mode, groups with lush instrumentals and heavy-duty lyrics about love, lust and life.

Most people who know they’ve fucked up manage to find a way to justify themselves.

The past doesn’t change no matter how much time you spend thinking about it. Good and bad all add up to the whole. Take away one piece, no matter how small, and the whole changes. Whether it’s optimism, pessimism or fatalism, I don’t spend my time wishing for the past to be different so the present would be different, too. I control my future with what I choose now. I’m the only one who does.

I love you,” I told him. “And all of this, our life, is everything I wished to have but wasn’t sure I could keep. I never felt like that with Alex, James. I always knew that what we shared wouldn’t last. He never belonged to me. Not the way you do.

I knew I’d sounded bitter, but I didn’t bend even when guilt threatened to throttle me with its bony fingers. “I hope it was worth it, Mom.

This one says they’ll place your ‘little blessing in disguise’ with a local ‘Christ-oriented family.’ What about the non-Christ-oriented families? Don’t they deserve the right to adopt kids?

She talked, he nodded. She was satisfied. He was oblivious.

I’m not sure a man can ever understand the complicated matter of feminine relationships.

And still, we said nothing, like we’d all been trained so well to do.

Faced with too many choices, my mother often chose none.

Everything was heat and sweat, bump ’n’ grind. Stroke and sigh.

my voice firm as I took charge. Keeping the surface polished.

More smiling. Fierce. I was getting a headache. I smiled.

It would have been so much easier if he had. If he’d put his foot down and demanded we host my parents’ party someplace else. If he’d taken the choice from me, I could’ve blamed him for making what I wanted come true.