River of Teeth

I regret nothing: it was worth it for the hats alone.

In the early twentieth century, the Congress of our great nation debated a glorious plan to resolve a meat shortage in America. The idea was this: import hippos and raise them in Louisiana’s bayous. The hippos would eat the ruinously invasive water hyacinth; the American people would eat the hippos; everyone would go home happy. Well, except the hippos. They’d go home eaten. Much to everyone’s disappointment, Congress didn’t follow through on the plan, and today America lives a cursed life—a beef life, with nary a free-range hippo within the borders of our country.

Get used to it, ma’am. We have a saying where I’m from—boys will make you cry, but girls? Girls will make you sweat.

It’s not a caper,” Houndstooth replied, sounding irritated. “It’s an operation. All aboveboard.

Well, Winslow. There’s only one bed in here.” They turned their head, still smiling, and took in Houndstooth’s rich pink blush. “And last I counted, there’s two of us.

He had cheekbones that sliced right through the thick, golden afternoon sunlight.

WINSLOW REMINGTON HOUNDSTOOTH was not a hero. There was nothing within him that cried out for justice or fame. He did not wear a white hat—he preferred his grey one, which didn’t show the bloodstains. He could have been a hero, had he been properly motivated, but there were more pressing matters at hand. There were fortunes to be snatched from the hands of fate. There were hors d’oeuvres like the fine-boned young man in front of him, ripe for the plucking. There was swift vengeance to be inflicted on those who would interfere with his ambitions. There was Ruby. Winslow Houndstooth didn’t take the job to be a hero. He took it for the money, and he took it for revenge. The

Don’t worry, Houndstooth. This hippo caper will go off without a hitch.” Houndstooth

Their lips parted just a little, and Houndstooth nearly died with the effort of not noticing it.

Have you ever had anything that you feel like you’d die without?” Houndstooth said it so quietly that it sounded like a prayer. “Something that you’ve put everything into—your whole life, all your heart? Have you ever had anything like that?

Winslow Houndstooth didn’t take the job to be a hero. He took it for the money, and he took it for revenge.