Quotes from Snuff

Terry Pratchett ·  378 pages

Rating: (39.1K votes)


“Goodness is about what you do. Not who you pray to.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Snuff


“The worst thing you can do is nothing.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Snuff


“I tell you, commander, it's true that some of the most terrible things in the world are done by people who think, genuinely think, that they're doing it for the best, especially if there is some god involved.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Snuff


“If you want to change a whole people, then you start with the girls. It stands to reason: they learn faster, and they pass on what they learn to their children.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Snuff


“Cheery was aware that Commander Vimes didn't like the phrase 'The innocent have nothing to fear', believing the innocent had everything to fear, mostly from the guilty but in the longer term even more from those who say things like 'The innocent have nothing to fear'.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Snuff



“I know that I am a small, weak man, but I have amassed a large library; I dream of dangerous places.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Snuff


“but what should we do when the highborn and wealthy take to crime? Indeed, if a poor man will spend a year in prison for stealing out of hunger, how high would the gallows need to be to hang the rich man who breaks the law out of greed?”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Snuff


“He'd heard that writers spent all day in their dressing gowns drinking champagne. This is, of course, absolutely true.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Snuff


“… you were so worried about legal and illegal that you never stopped to think about whether it was right or wrong.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Snuff


“The jurisdiction of a good man extends to the end of the world.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Snuff



“Vimes's lack of interest in other people's children was limitless.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Snuff


“Well, the news has got around. The Duchess of Keepsake has invited us to a ball, Sir Henry and Lady Withering have invited us to a ball, and Lord and Lady Hangfinger have invited us to... yes, a ball."
"Well, that's a lot of..."
"Don't you dare, Sam.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Snuff


“If there were such a thing as an inter-city thieving contest, Ankh-Morpork would bring home the trophy and probably everyone’s wallets.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Snuff


“We live and learn, or, perhaps more importantly we learn and live.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Snuff


“Vimes died. The sun dropped out of the sky, giant lizards took over the world, and the stars exploded and went out and all hope vanished and gurgled into the sinktrap of oblivion. And gas filled the firmament and combusted and behold! There was a new heaven - or possibly not. And Disc and Io and and possibly verily life crawled out of the sea - or possibly didn't because it had been made by the gods, and lizards turned to less scaly lizards - or possibly did not. And lizards turned into birds and bugs turned into butterflies and a species of apple turned into banana and a kind of monkey fell out of a tree and realised life was better when you didn't have to spend your time hanging onto something. And in only a few billion years evolved trousers and ornamental stripey hats. Lastly the game of Crocket. And there, magically reincarnated, was Vimes, a little dizzy, standing on the village green looking into the smiling countenance of an enthusiast.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Snuff



“So much paperwork to read! So much paperwork to push away! So much paperwork to pretend he hadn't received and that might have been eaten by gargoyles.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Snuff


“Yes, sir, thank you, sir, and I wouldn’t trust me one little inch, sir. I knows a bad one when I sees them. I have a mirror.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Snuff


“Little crimes breed big crimes. You smile at little crimes and then big crimes blow your head off.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Snuff


“They say that the eyes of some paintings can follow you around the room, a fact that I doubt, but I am wondering whether some music can follow you for ever.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Snuff


“Sometimes you had to take a look at yourself and then look away.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Snuff



“Do not seek perfection. None exists. All we can do is strive.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Snuff


“Vimes woke in damp and utter darkness with sand under his cheek. Some parts of his body reported for duty, others protested that they had a note from their mother.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Snuff


“I'm not cruel, sir, I won't shoot you in the guts, but I will make you realize how much you took your toes for granted.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Snuff


“Aristocrats don't notice philosophical conundra. They just ignore them. Philosophy includes contemplating the possibility that you might be wrong, sir, and a real aristocrat knows that he is always right. It's not vanity, you understand, it's built-in absolute certainty. They may sometimes be as mad as a hatful of spoons, but they are always definitely and certainly mad.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Snuff


“As the message drained away Vimes stared at the opposite wall, in which the door now opened, after a cursory knock, to reveal the steward bearing that which is guaranteed to frighten away all nightmares, to wit, a cup of hot tea.*
* The sound of the gentle rattle of china cup on china saucer drives away all demons, a little-known fact.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Snuff



“Not all questions are answered, commander, but fortunately some answers are questioned.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Snuff


“This is Masher,' said Feeney. 'His father was a wild boar, his mother was surprised.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Snuff


“That just goes to show that you never know, although what it is we never know I suspect we'll never know.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Snuff


“Don't start weaving a social hypothesis in front of an angry woman holding a blade.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Snuff


“And now, because of a song, Vimes, a simple piece of music, Vimes, soft as a breath, stranger than a mountain, some very powerful states have agreed to work together to heal the problems of another autonomous state and, almost as collateral, turn some animals into people at a stroke.”
― Terry Pratchett, quote from Snuff



About the author

Terry Pratchett
Born place: in Beaconsfield, Buckinghamshire, England, The United Kingdom
Born date April 28, 1948
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