Quotes from The Lost Colony

Eoin Colfer ·  385 pages

Rating: (125.6K votes)


“No matter what dimension you're in, there's a big-headed male trying to take over the world.”
― Eoin Colfer, quote from The Lost Colony


“If it looks like a Dwarf, and it smells like a Dwarf, then it's probably a Dwarf or a latrine wearing dungerees.”
― Eoin Colfer, quote from The Lost Colony


“What's that supposed to mean? A wolf's head on a stick. Big wolf barbecue tonight? Bring your own wolf?”
― Eoin Colfer, quote from The Lost Colony


“Everyone says that I have no sense of humor, then I construct a perfectly sound pun around a well-known psychological condition, and it is ignored.”
― Eoin Colfer, quote from The Lost Colony


“Excuse me, Captain. Are you two going to weep salty tears of admiration over a helmet all night, or do we have matters to discuss?”
― Eoin Colfer, quote from The Lost Colony


“Relax, Mr. Diggums. Have another nettle beer, or some spring water." The commander took two bottles from the cooler and offered one to Mulch.
Mulch studied the label. "Derrier? No thanks. You know how they put the bubbles in this stuff?"
Vinyaya's mouth twitched with the ghost of a smile. "I thought it was naturally carbonated."
"Yeah, that's what I thought until I got a prison job at the Derrier plant. They employ every dwarf in the Deeps. They made us sign confidentiality contracts."
Vinyaya was hooked. "So go on, tell me. How do they get the bubbles in?"
Mulch tapped his nose. "Can't say. Breach of contract. All I can say is it involves a huge vat of water and several dwarfs using our ...eh" Mulch pointed to his rear end-"... natural talents."
Vinyaya gingerly replaced her bottle.”
― Eoin Colfer, quote from The Lost Colony


“A cloak of invisibility? This is a highly sensitive piece of field equipment. What does he think? Some warlock pulled it out of his armpit?”
― Eoin Colfer, quote from The Lost Colony


“Holly frowned at her. "Glad to see you've forgiven yourself so quickly."
"Harboring feelings of guilt can have a negative affect on mental health."
"Child geniuses," growled Holly.
"Genii," said Minerva.”
― Eoin Colfer, quote from The Lost Colony


“Why can't we for once have a meeting in Starbucks?”
― Eoin Colfer, quote from The Lost Colony


“There are always a few bored audience members at an opera, especially by the time act four comes along. Those particular eyes would be wandering around the hall, searching for something, anything, interesting to watch. Those eyes would land on the little demon downstage right, unless they were distracted.
Right on cue, a large stage lamp broke free of its clamp in the rigging and swung on its cable into the back canvas. [...]
On his way though the lobby minutes later, Artemis was highly amuse to overhear several audience members gushing over the unorthodox direction of the opera's final scene. The exploding lamp, muse one buff, was doubtless a metaphor for Norma's own falling star. But no, argued a second. The lamp was obviously a modernistic interpretation of the burning stake that Norma was about to face.
Or perhaps, thought Artemis as he pushed through the crowd to find a light Sicilian mist falling on his forehead, the exploding lamp was simply an exploding lamp.”
― Eoin Colfer, quote from The Lost Colony


“Caballine likes me to be masterful. She calls me her stallion.”
― Eoin Colfer, quote from The Lost Colony


“Just what we need," moaned Holly. "Artemis Fowl with magical powers.”
― Eoin Colfer, quote from The Lost Colony


“Control puberty?" snorted the bodyguard."If you manage that, you'll be the first.”
― Eoin Colfer, quote from The Lost Colony


“I am older and have more control over my empathy,' said Qwan. 'That's why I didn't throw up.' And having said that, he threw up.”
― Eoin Colfer, quote from The Lost Colony


“Chief of security : They have a tank! How did they get a tank up here?”
― Eoin Colfer, quote from The Lost Colony


“You know as well as I do that fortune never sends the best-case scenario our way
You have way too much bad karma.”
― Eoin Colfer, quote from The Lost Colony


“Make it fast, you shower of stinking rabbit droppings, I've got a fresh blade that I'm just itching to test!”
― Eoin Colfer, quote from The Lost Colony


“It can play solitaire and minesweeper,” replied Artemis innocently.”
― Eoin Colfer, quote from The Lost Colony


“How did that go” [Butler] asked. “Your first lengthy conversation with a girl your own age.”
“Fabulous,” said Artemis, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “We’re planning a June wedding.”
― Eoin Colfer, quote from The Lost Colony


“When Holly Short had opened the door of her makeshift basement cell, she had found her helmet bouncing on the spot in front of her with a 3-D image of Foaly’s face projected onto it. “That is really creepy,”
― Eoin Colfer, quote from The Lost Colony


“Great, thought Holly. No matter what dimension you’re in, there’s a bigheaded male trying to take over the world.”
― Eoin Colfer, quote from The Lost Colony


“You know how they put the bubbles in this stuff?” Vinyáya’s mouth twitched with the ghost of a smile. “I thought it was naturally carbonated.” “Yeah, that’s what I thought until I got a prison job at the Derrier plant. They employ every dwarf in the Deeps. They made us sign confidentiality contracts.” Vinyáya was hooked. “So go on, tell me. How do they get the bubbles in?” Mulch tapped his nose. “Can’t say. Breach of contract. All I can say is it involves a huge vat of water and several dwarfs using our . . . eh”—Mulch pointed to his rear end—“. . . natural talents.” Vinyáya gingerly replaced her bottle.”
― Eoin Colfer, quote from The Lost Colony


“Just what we need,” moaned Holly. “Artemis Fowl with magical powers.”
― Eoin Colfer, quote from The Lost Colony


“But calling up magic when there were arrows flying and chunks of the countryside disappearing was about as easy as going to the toilet on command with a dozen people watching. Who all hated you.”
― Eoin Colfer, quote from The Lost Colony


“That is a highly sensitive piece of field equipment. What does he think? Some warlock pulled it out of his armpit?”
― Eoin Colfer, quote from The Lost Colony


“The female guard smiled broadly then collapsed. On the ground she began singing a nursery rhyme about doggies and their bones.”
― Eoin Colfer, quote from The Lost Colony


About the author

Eoin Colfer
Born place: in Wexford, Ireland
Born date May 14, 1965
See more on GoodReads

Popular quotes

“But Paris was a very old city and we were young and nothing was simple there, not even poverty, nor sudden money, nor the moonlight, nor right and wrong nor the breathing of someone who lay beside you in the moonlight.”
― Ernest Hemingway, quote from A Moveable Feast


“But when I heard his voice, I felt content. When I was with him, I felt beautiful and happy. And there was nothing I could do about it.”
― Charlaine Harris, quote from From Dead to Worse


“It's tough out there, boy, and as long as there are people, there’s gonna be somebody trying to take what you got and trying to drag you down. It's up to you whether you let them or not.”
― Mildred D. Taylor, quote from Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry


“What's this?" Nick said. "Bedtime?"
No one answered him. I kept my eyes closed.
You look positively content, Clayton," Nick continued, thumping down on the floor. "That wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that Elena is cuddled up with you, is it?"
It's cold in here," I murmured.
Doesn't feel cold."
It's cold," Clay growled.
I could start a fire."
I could start one too," Clay said. "With your clothes. Before you get them off.”
― Kelley Armstrong, quote from Bitten


“Laurel, David? Would you like to share the joke with the rest of the class?" he asked, one hand on his skinny hip.
"No, sir," David said. "But thank you for asking." The students around them laughed, but Mr. james didn't look pleased. Laurel leaned back and grinned. David, one. Teacher who wishes he was as smart as David? Zero
― Aprilynne Pike, quote from Wings


Interesting books

Thanks for the Trouble
(3.2K)
Thanks for the Troub...
by Tommy Wallach
Judas Unchained
(26K)
Judas Unchained
by Peter F. Hamilton
Friday Night Lights: A Town, a Team, and a Dream
(42.9K)
Friday Night Lights:...
by H.G. Bissinger
Princess Mia
(20.4K)
Princess Mia
by Meg Cabot
Brazzaville Beach
(4K)
Brazzaville Beach
by William Boyd
The Love Dare
(45.8K)

About BookQuoters

BookQuoters is a community of passionate readers who enjoy sharing the most meaningful, memorable and interesting quotes from great books. As the world communicates more and more via texts, memes and sound bytes, short but profound quotes from books have become more relevant and important. For some of us a quote becomes a mantra, a goal or a philosophy by which we live. For all of us, quotes are a great way to remember a book and to carry with us the author’s best ideas.

We thoughtfully gather quotes from our favorite books, both classic and current, and choose the ones that are most thought-provoking. Each quote represents a book that is interesting, well written and has potential to enhance the reader’s life. We also accept submissions from our visitors and will select the quotes we feel are most appealing to the BookQuoters community.

Founded in 2018, BookQuoters has quickly become a large and vibrant community of people who share an affinity for books. Books are seen by some as a throwback to a previous world; conversely, gleaning the main ideas of a book via a quote or a quick summary is typical of the Information Age but is a habit disdained by some diehard readers. We feel that we have the best of both worlds at BookQuoters; we read books cover-to-cover but offer you some of the highlights. We hope you’ll join us.