These Broken Stars

Major, to what extent did you act upon your feelings for Miss LaRoux?" "Medium." "Excuse me?" "How am I supposed to answer that question?

And there it is, against all hope, like the sun peeking out from behind the clouds. The smallest hint of a smile.

For a moment the image before us is frozen: our world, our lives, reduced to a handful broken stars half lost in uncharted space. Then it's gone, the view swallowed by the hyperspace winds streaming past, blue-green auroras wiping the after-images away. Until all that's left is us

But she's here, she's mine. I'm hers.

But who names a starship the Icarus? What kind of man possess that much hubris, that he dares it to fall?

Where will I sit?” Sit? Why, on this comfortable chaise longue I’ve carried here for you in my pocket, Your Highness, so glad you asked. I clamp my mouth shut, struggling not to say it aloud.

You don't mention death when it's hovering near someone you love. You don't want t attract the reaper's attention.

Then she smiles, and it turns out she has dimples, and it's all over.

I know a thousand different smiles, each with its own nuanced shade of meaning, but I don't know how to reach the few feet away to touch this person next to me. I don't know how to talk to him. Not when it's real.

You're you,' he repeats, his eyes full of grief. 'You're the same girl who crashed on this planet with me, who I dragged through forests and over mountains, who climbed through a shipwreck full of bodies to save my life. You're the same girl I loved, and I love you now.

Lilac won’t talk to me again. There’s a tremor. Lilac won’t kiss me again. I won’t hear her laugh. My lungs constrict. Why am I doing this to myself ?

How do you live again, knowing what waits for you in the end?

I could tell myself that I’m doing it because she’ll get back to her feet just to spite me—but the truth is, I really just want to piss her off. Keeping her moving is a bonus.

Your key concerns at that stage?” “Well, Miss LaRoux had a party she didn’t want to miss, and I—” “Major, you don’t seem to understand the seriousness of your situation.” “Sure I do. What the hell do you think our key concerns were?

Now it looks no different from a patch of wildflowers growing in the forest. You could walk right by it, and never know it was there. Except that I do. It’s my landmark, now. I’ll always know how far I am from this spot. From her.

Lilac Rose LaRoux. Untouchable. Toxic. I should've been named Ivy, or Foxglove, or Belladonna.

I reach for her hand and wind my fingers through hers, turning them so the rain patters down onto her palm. I trace a circle there with my thumb, smoothing the water in her skin. I want to show her there's nothing to be afraid of.

All of it—for this. Leading us to a door we can't open, a password we don't have.

She rolls over with a little protesting noise, reaching sleepily after me. Then she begins to register the raindrops as they connect with her skin, and she sits up with straight with a gasp. I'm busy sitting up too, because when you go to sleep wrapped around a pretty girl, there are some things going on first thing in the morning that you don't exactly want making headline news.

Now Miss LaRoux’s getting my ass kicked on the sparring mats as well. Is there any part of my life that girl can’t mess with?

Whatever they've done to me, Tarver, whatever I am--I love you. Don't forget that.

Well,” I reply, using the calm tone I know gets under her skin. I wish I was noble enough not to enjoy it, but I came to terms with my lack of nobility long ago.

Abandon her? If only my duty or my conscience would let me. The galaxy would be better off, if you ask me. Who’d even know we were in the same pod? Except that I would know. And that would be enough.

She smiles, lightning quick, then squeezes my hand harder, holding on like she’s afraid someone will come and pull us apart. “You’ll face it all with me?” The world narrows, the sounds of the oncoming search party fading, the lights blurring around us until it’s just her and me, our breath condensing and mingling in the cold air. She’s stolen my voice, this girl in my arms, and for a moment I can’t answer. I have to gather my wits, try to remember how to breathe. “Always.” Her smile is like the sun coming out. “Then you ought to kiss me while you can, Major Merendsen. It may be a while before your next opportunity.

I'm not doing much at all. I mimght as well be a rag doll. Comes complete with matching shoes. Spine sold separately.

You next saw her when the incident occurred?” “That’s correct.” “Did you try to figure out what was happening?” “You’re not military, you don’t understand how we work. I’m not supposed to ask questions. I was just following orders.” “What orders were those?” “We have a duty to protect civilians.” “So there wasn’t a specific order that drove your decision?” “Now you’re nitpicking.” “We’re being exact, Major. We’d appreciate it if you tried to do the same.

For the first time I can see this other longing--the desire to stay. For the first time I realize that maybe she insists on us staying apart because she doesn't want to lose this all over again.

Or else I'm dead, and I've ended up in hell after all, and it's an escape pod with Lilac LaRoux.

We’re in luck. This place looks like it’s terraformed. There must be sensors for checking the air quality outside.” “There are,” she agrees. “But the electrical surge fried them. We don’t need them, though. It’s safe.” “Glad you’re so sure, Miss LaRoux,” I retort before I can stop myself. “I think I’d rather an instrument told me so. Not that I don’t trust your extensive training.” Her eyes narrow, and if looks could kill, then toxic atmospheres would be the least of my problems.

Did you have any goal other than reaching the crash site?” “You make it sound as though I conspired to get myself landed on the planet.” “And why would you do that?” “That’s my point. We wanted nothing more than to get out of there.” “Very well. What happened next?