Layla

It’s been proven that people who read live longer. Are you trying to die young?

I keep running back to the starting line because I don’t want to be finished with you.

It’s better to be a selfless somebody than to be a selfish nobody.

Perhaps what we desire can sometimes be so strong it overpowers our fate.

Falling in love with her was weightless, like air was breezing through my bones. Falling out of love is fucking heavy, like my lungs are carved from iron.

Layla is my soul mate in every realm of life.

The only thing Layla did wrong is fall in love with me.

I’d feel nothing if you punched me in the heart I’d feel even less if you stabbed me with a knife But I didn’t fall out of love with you I fell out of love with life

It was like someone let all the air back into my life when I had no idea I was even suffocating.

I love you, Layla. That love doesn’t fluctuate with numbers on a scale.

The supernatural is the natural not yet understood. —Elbert Hubbard

Every single second with her felt like an awakening. Like I’d never really opened my eyes until she came along. I was blind but now I see.

I showed up rich while feeling poor I didn’t knock but they opened the door Throwing stones, they pierce my eye Leave tiny cracks all down my spine We were royalty without a throne Our castle didn’t feel like home Echoes of “I love you” in the halls Our words absorbed into the walls I checked us in so we couldn’t leave Thought maybe time would make me believe If I took us back to the starting line We’d never cross the finish line My hands may not be red But my heart, it feels the bleed If my soul had a neon sign It would read No Vacancy If my soul had a neon sign It would read No Vacancy

I want her so much I’ll be the Romeo to her Juliet and take whatever the hell kind of poison she wants to put on my tongue right now.

Minutes feel like they matter more when they’re spent with her.

There’s no better feeling than being loved for who you are rather than for what you’re worth.

Sometimes, when I look at Layla, I wish she were Willow.

I much prefer the idea of going all in. I’ve always wanted someone I could instantly click with and then just fucking drown in.

I can’t be the Band-Aid for her wounds. I need to be what helps them heal.

Like I’d never really opened my eyes until she came along. I was blind but now I see.

Think of it like this,” she says. “The womb is one existence. As a fetus, we didn’t remember life before the womb, and we had no idea if there would be life after the womb. All we knew was the womb. But then we were born, and we left the womb and came into our current realm of existence. And now we can’t remember being in the womb before this life, and we have no idea what comes after this life. And when our current life ends, we’ll be in a different realm altogether, where we might not remember this realm of existence, just like we don’t recall being in the womb. It’s just different realms. One after the other after the other. Some we know for a fact exist. Some we only believe exist. There could be realms of existence we’ve never even entertained the idea of. They could be endless. I don’t think we ever really die.

So much has happened since then. I’ve changed as a person in more ways than one. That happens when you’re forced to take another person’s life.

I wonder what happened in my childhood that makes me take on so much guilt; even when I'm not responsible for whatever is wrong.

I asked her what the anxiety felt like. She said, “It’s like a shiver running through my blood.

Is it fair to assume this continued because you started to develop feelings for Willow?” I can’t even say yes out loud. Instead, I just nod.

should we just pack up and leave before every line I’ve already crossed becomes a wall so high we can’t climb over?

I look over at my laptop, which is sitting on top of the piano. It’s opening. My Word document pulls up. Letters are being typed into the Word document. W . . . i . . . l . . . l . . . o . . . w . . .

I think about the idiots in scary movies that never run when they should, but I empathize with them now. The need to disprove the thing that’s scary is greater than the need to run from the potential harm it might bring.

It’s interesting how much a person’s belief system can be changed by things in this world that can’t be explained. Hell, not just my belief system, but my morals.

Layla carries herself with a confidence that would be attractive no matter what she looked like.