Before She Ignites

I wanted freedom in the same way I wanted my next breath: an unspoken but constant desire.

Thre is strength," he said slowly, "in knowing when to speak, and when to listen." His hands stayed on his chest, motionless. "And when to say nothing at all.

You're afraid of me," I said. "You and the rest of the Luminary Council. You made me into a powerful voice, thinking I would always be your voice, but you were wrong. I am not a tool to be used at your convenience. I will not be wielded against the very foundations of the treaty named after me.

His skin smelled sour, like the prison, but somewhere under the filth, I caught notes of open fields and rainstorms and lightning-shot skies.

It was exhilarating, really. Exploding. Being shred asunder. Burning like a thousand galaxies.

But my head buzzed and my vision tunneled, like the anxiety didn't care that I had no energy for another attack right now. The anxiety never cared.

There is strength," he said slowly, "in knowing when to speak, and when to listen." His hands stayed on his chest, motionless. "And when to say nothing at all.

Anxiety rushed in without warning. It came like thunder as my heart raced louder in my ears. It came like the sea over my head as my lungs struggled to expand. It came like a swarm of gnats crawling over my skin, itching, burning, complete in their distraction.

Our hands were close together. I hadn't realized it before, but now, he reached out and, with a breath-light touch, stroked down my smallest finger. It was a tiny thing, but it sent warm thrills through me. And then he whispered, "I want to know you.

Darkness had a sinister way about it. Any noise, even my own breath, became a threat.

I was doing such a wonderful job of making a fool of myself.

Why would you throw away the opportunity to go home?" "I didn't throw away an opportunity," I said. "I took one. It was my chance to tell people what was right and I don't regret it.

This wasn’t fair. I was being punished for trying to do the right thing. I should have been rewarded. But life didn’t always work like that.