“I love that picture, he admitted softly. I think it's because I love the girl in that picture.”
“Love helped me live life instead of just survive it.”
“In the balance of love and loss, it was love that made me struggle to… Breathe.”
“We were engaged in a very intricate dance of touching without touching, knowing without saying, and feeling without expressing. We were friends walking along a ledge, a very thin ledge - and I was too caught up in my heightened awareness of his existence to realize how close the ledge was to crumbling beneath my feet.”
“Well let’s get you back to hell before the devil realizes you’re not home.”
“My world was delicately balanced, but the scales never hung even. When something improved, something else had to crumble.”
“And just because you didn’t admit it, you were stupid for each other from almost day one. So even though you’ve been dating for a couple of weeks, you’ve been each other’s person for a lot longer. - Sara”
“I knew there was going to be pain whether I did anything wrong or not – so maybe I should do something to actually deserve it.”
“Now I was left holding the pieces of my heart, crushed by my own hands.”
“I knew in that moment, I would never love anyone in my life the way I loved Evan Mathews.”
“I survived by keeping my emotions in check – by maintaining my composure and tucking it all away. I managed to stay under the radar, skating through school without anyone truly remembering I was here. My teachers acknowledged my academic successes and my coaches depended upon my athletic abilities, but I wasn’t important enough to make a recognizable social contribution. I was easily forgettable. That’s what I counted on.”
“I guess you just don't pay attention. I think you're too busy attempting to fade.”
“I trusted you," Evan bellowed, as the distance grew between us. I stopped and turned back around. He walked towards me until we were only a foot apart. "I trusted you, and you couldn't trust me."
I stared back, watching the hurt reveal itself in his eyes. My heart ached in return.
"I unpacked for the first time ever - for you. I was honest with you about everything-even with the truth about how I felt about you. I've never been that honest before. I trusted you." His voice drifted into a whisper as he leaned closer to me. "Why couldn't you trust me?”
“It was more important for me to try, than to not have the chance at all.”
“He leaned toward me and delicately grazed my lips with his. The tease left me breathless, burning for more.
“I keep having to remind myself that I can do that,” he smirked.”
“These past two days, I’ve seen a fire in your eyes that I never have before. Granted, it’s mostly anger and frustration, but it’s still emotion.”
“It's beautiful," I breathed, admiring the powerful emotion and truth frozen in the single shot.
"I love that picture," he admitted softly. "I think it's because I love the girl in that picture.”
“What was that about? His mother is practically gushing over you. Not to mention that he’s holding your hand like it’s the most natural thing in the world. Forget about dating - are you having a wedding you forgot to invite me to?”
“In the balance of love and loss, it was love that made me struggle to… Breathe.”
“Not being liked was so much worse than being invisible.”
“What if I don't want to be friends with you?" he challenged, grinning again, staring directly into my eyes. Obviously taking me seriously was an impossibility for Evan.
Despite not being able to breathe, I connected with his taunting gaze and refused to look away. "Then we won't be friends," I said flatly.
"What if I want to be more than friends?”
“There are so many other people in this school-you don't have to know me."
"But I want to," he replied with a grin.”
“I don't know how to fit you in my world without hurting you too." The truth in my words revealed more than he'd ever know.
"Don't worry about hurting me," he replied calmly. "I like being a part of your world, and I understand that it's more complicated than you're willing to share with me. But I'll respect that, for now."
He pulled into the parking lot of a drugstore and put the car in park. Evan seemed nervous as he turned to speak to ne. He released a quick breath before he spoke. My chest tightened, afraid to hear what he had to say."
"I don't do this." His hands gestured between us. My eyes narrowed, trying to inerpret his meaning. He exhaled and looked out the windshield. "I don't stay, and I'm used to that. And I'm always prepared to leave-because I have to eventually.
He stopped again, frustrated with himself. I sat motionless, absolutely convinced I didn't want him to continue - but I couldn't bring myself to ask him to stop.
"I want to stay here," he finally decalred. "It would bother me if I left. I mean, I've already unpacked.”
“I pushed him away. So he left.”
“Was it better to get as much out of the moment as possible, knowing it could slip out from under you in a second? Was the actual experience better than the inevitable conclusion?”
“He was a breath of fresh air after the heart wrenching storm that had engulfed me.”
“Are you worried you'd miss me if I left?”
“He didn’t need to touch me. His attention alone, recognizing my existence, send a flurry of sparks through my body.”
“I couldn't believe I let him see me like this, unable to fend for myself. I fumed in disgust at my vulnerability. I didn't want Evan to think I needed protecting. I pulled back my torment and let the numb blanket envelop me, pushing away the stirred memories, the noise of the crowd, and the trembling that still lay beneath the surface. I stared at the flames licking at the darkness and everything was lost as I sank deeper into nothingness.”
“Knowing you were right down the hall was way too hard. I couldn’t do it,” Evan declared, sliding under the covers next to me.”
“But dying was no drama. Dying was cold and hard and painful, and dull. It went on too long. I was exhausted and growing bored with it. Now I had too much time to think about whether I was going to die from the tide”
“over the years i have discovered a surprising but simple truth about young ladies and it is this: the more beautiful their faces, the less delicate their thoughts.”
“I believe in justice, as long as I'm holding a knife at the throat of the judge.”
“The greatest threat of all to their identity, and to the very idea of a nomadic hunter in North America, appeared on the plains in the late 1860s. These were the buffalo men. Between 1868 and 1881 they would kill thirty-one million buffalo, stripping the plains almost entirely of the huge, lumbering creatures and destroying any last small hope that any horse tribe could ever be restored to its traditional life. There was no such thing as a horse Indian without a buffalo herd. Such an Indian had no identity at all.”
“I think God is how you deal with everything that's out of your own control.”
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