The Loner

I can wait.” “You realize that basically any guy in this bar would fuck you, right?” Sebastian shrugged. “I want easy.” “You realize that basically any guy in this bar right now would easily fuck you, right?” He chuckled, and I felt like I’d won something. “I want familiar.

I tasted my future on his lips, sunshine and laughter, and fuck, ten years of friendship because that’s what we had, didn’t we?

Don’t be too hard on yourself about his fear of coming out. It doesn’t matter how much queer people might know they’ll be accepted and loved, that fear will always be there for us. It doesn’t come from you. It comes from living in a world where some people hate us for who we are and want to take away our right to happiness.

You don’t have anything to apologize for. I’m sorry you have to hear that shit. You know it’s not true, don’t you? You’re…hell, I don’t even think there’s a word for what you are. It’s too much, too big, too everything.

Crushing was one thing; analogies about my heart running to him was another.

We don’t fuck each other, and we’re not in love with each other. Can lines realistically get blurred? Yeah, I suppose so, but we couldn’t let it. I would have spent my life alone if it wasn’t for them.

Blood isn’t what makes family; it’s being there for them, it’s sticking around. It’s loving someone even when they don’t feel like they deserve to be loved.

We’re all a mess, Sebastian. I don’t know anyone who isn’t. Some people hide it better than others, and some people lie to themselves more than others. That’s the only difference.

It’s hard sometimes, to want something so much, to fight for it and love it, and while you love it, you still know it’s not what you thought it would be.

What do you want?” I yelled at the phone, then sort of wanted to slam myself in the head with it.

I like art, I can’t pretend I’m an expert. I don’t know a lot about it, but there’s something special about looking at it and knowing it came from inside someone. That they put their heart out there for the world to see and judge. That’s not easy to do.

Ha-ha. This whole friendship thing isn’t going how I planned. I didn’t know you’d just end up busting my balls.” “Is friendship something other than that?

How could I have known him this long, and yet there were so few things I actually knew about him?