“Alexander Hamilton Junior High School
-- SEMESTER REPORT --
STUDENT: Joseph Margolis
TEACHER: Janet Hicks
ENGLISH: A, ARITHMETIC: A, SOCIAL STUDIES: A, SCIENCE: A, NEATNESS: A, PUNCTUALITY: A, PARTICIPATION: A, OBEDIENCE: D
Teacher's Comments:
Joseph remains a challenging student. While I appreciate his creativity, I am sure you will agree that a classroom is an inappropriate forum for a reckless imagination. There is not a shred of evidence to support his claim that Dolley Madison was a Lesbian, and even fewer grounds to explain why he even knows what the word means. Similarly, an analysis of the Constitutional Convention does not generate sufficient cause to initiate a two-hour classroom debate on what types of automobiles the Founding Fathers would have driven were they alive today. When asked on a subsequent examination, "What did Benjamin Franklin use to discover electricity?" eleven children responded "A Packard convertible". I trust you see my problem.
[...]
Janet Hicks
Parent's Comments:
As usual I am very proud of Joey's grades. I too was unaware that Dolley Madison was a Lesbian. I assumed they were all Protestants.
Thank you for writing.
Ida Margolis”
― Steve Kluger, quote from Last Days of Summer
“The only thing I know about Moses is him coming down from the mountain with the commandments and saying 'The good news is I got him down to 10. The bad news is adultery is still in.”
― Steve Kluger, quote from Last Days of Summer
“Mr. Herbert Demarest
Alexander Hamilton Jr. High
2236 Bedford Avenue
Brooklyn NY
Dear Mr Demarest,
Then why don't you give him 'Withering Heights'? At least Heathcoat knew how to kick some ass.
Chas. Banks
3d Base”
― Steve Kluger, quote from Last Days of Summer
“Your head and your heart are two different things. One of them can get you into trouble and the other can't. It's okay to be scared when you can't tell them apart. That happened to me every day of my life. But nobody saw it except you.”
― Steve Kluger, quote from Last Days of Summer
“Everyone has something worth it inside of them even if it doesn’t show. Sometimes you have to look a little harder than other times but don’t give up. Otherwise all your going to see is a sorehead who plays 3d base.”
― Steve Kluger, quote from Last Days of Summer
“When you get famous or rich and maybe you think that you wish I was there to see it, remember that one way or the other I am.”
― Steve Kluger, quote from Last Days of Summer
“The last thing you will always remember is the most important one. A long time ago I told you I did not know for a fact yet that you were somebody special. Now I do.
I love you Bucko.”
― Steve Kluger, quote from Last Days of Summer
Steve Kluger
Born place: in Baltimore, MD, The United States
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“Don’t let your jealousy and anger rule your emotions,” he said in a soft voice. “Nothing good will ever come of it.”
― Chanda Hahn, quote from Fairest
“I sipped my own coffee, heavy on the sugar and cream, trying to make up for the late work the night before. Caffeine and sugar, the two basic food groups.”
― Laurell K. Hamilton, quote from Cerulean Sins
“The last time I saw him, I didn't breath again until he had dressed himself completely. From the crack in my sister's door, I saw him get out of her bed and inhale, as if he had accomplished his mission for the day.”
― Jennifer Loren, quote from The Devil's Eyes
“Kalau kemanusiaan tersinggung, semua orang berperasaan dan berpikiran waras ikut tersinggung, kecuali orang gila dan orang yang berjiwa kriminil, biar pun dia sarjana.”
― Pramoedya Ananta Toer, quote from Child of All Nations
“Envy, after all, comes from wanting something that isn't yours. But grief comes from losing something you've already had.”
― Jodi Picoult, quote from Perfect Match
The Pledge
The Liars' Club
The Varieties of Sci...
Dairy Queen
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