“Alexander Hamilton Junior High School
-- SEMESTER REPORT --
STUDENT: Joseph Margolis
TEACHER: Janet Hicks
ENGLISH: A, ARITHMETIC: A, SOCIAL STUDIES: A, SCIENCE: A, NEATNESS: A, PUNCTUALITY: A, PARTICIPATION: A, OBEDIENCE: D
Teacher's Comments:
Joseph remains a challenging student. While I appreciate his creativity, I am sure you will agree that a classroom is an inappropriate forum for a reckless imagination. There is not a shred of evidence to support his claim that Dolley Madison was a Lesbian, and even fewer grounds to explain why he even knows what the word means. Similarly, an analysis of the Constitutional Convention does not generate sufficient cause to initiate a two-hour classroom debate on what types of automobiles the Founding Fathers would have driven were they alive today. When asked on a subsequent examination, "What did Benjamin Franklin use to discover electricity?" eleven children responded "A Packard convertible". I trust you see my problem.
[...]
Janet Hicks
Parent's Comments:
As usual I am very proud of Joey's grades. I too was unaware that Dolley Madison was a Lesbian. I assumed they were all Protestants.
Thank you for writing.
Ida Margolis”
― Steve Kluger, quote from Last Days of Summer
“The only thing I know about Moses is him coming down from the mountain with the commandments and saying 'The good news is I got him down to 10. The bad news is adultery is still in.”
― Steve Kluger, quote from Last Days of Summer
“Mr. Herbert Demarest
Alexander Hamilton Jr. High
2236 Bedford Avenue
Brooklyn NY
Dear Mr Demarest,
Then why don't you give him 'Withering Heights'? At least Heathcoat knew how to kick some ass.
Chas. Banks
3d Base”
― Steve Kluger, quote from Last Days of Summer
“Your head and your heart are two different things. One of them can get you into trouble and the other can't. It's okay to be scared when you can't tell them apart. That happened to me every day of my life. But nobody saw it except you.”
― Steve Kluger, quote from Last Days of Summer
“Everyone has something worth it inside of them even if it doesn’t show. Sometimes you have to look a little harder than other times but don’t give up. Otherwise all your going to see is a sorehead who plays 3d base.”
― Steve Kluger, quote from Last Days of Summer
“When you get famous or rich and maybe you think that you wish I was there to see it, remember that one way or the other I am.”
― Steve Kluger, quote from Last Days of Summer
“The last thing you will always remember is the most important one. A long time ago I told you I did not know for a fact yet that you were somebody special. Now I do.
I love you Bucko.”
― Steve Kluger, quote from Last Days of Summer
Steve Kluger
Born place: in Baltimore, MD, The United States
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“Excuse me, please. You do not understand. You do not really understand who it was we talked with in the tent that night. He may have seemed an ordinary man to you – a handicapped one, at that. But this is not so. I fear Benedict. He is the Master of Arms for Amber. Can you conceive of a millennium? A thousand years? Several of them? Can you understand a man who, for almost every day of a lifetime like that, has spent some time dwelling with weapons, tactics, strategy? All that there is of military science thunders in his head. He has often journeyed from shadow to shadow, witnessing variation after variation on the same battle, with but slightly altered circumstances, in order to test his theories of warfare. He has commanded armies so vast that you could watch them march by day after day and see no end to the columns. Although he is inconvenienced by the loss of his arm, I would not wish to fight with him either with weapons or barehanded. It is fortunate that he has no designs upon the throne, or he would be occupying it right now. If he were, I believe that I would give up at this moment and pay him homage. I fear Benedict.”
― Roger Zelazny, quote from The Great Book of Amber
“For my own good. Anytime anyone had ever used those words to me, they hadn't had the slightest clue what ‘my own good’ truly was”
― Claudia Gray, quote from Stargazer
“How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true;
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face.”
― W.B. Yeats, quote from The Collected Poems of W.B. Yeats
“One thing you could say about Butch was that his wardrobe was full of options. "Never thought I'd be glad that you're a clothes whore."
"I believe the term is sharp dresser.”
― J.R. Ward, quote from Lover Unleashed
“If there's one thing I learned from Rodrick, it's to set people's expectations real low so you end up surprising them by practically doing nothing at all.”
― Jeff Kinney, quote from Diary of a Wimpy Kid
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