“Alexander Hamilton Junior High School
-- SEMESTER REPORT --
STUDENT: Joseph Margolis
TEACHER: Janet Hicks
ENGLISH: A, ARITHMETIC: A, SOCIAL STUDIES: A, SCIENCE: A, NEATNESS: A, PUNCTUALITY: A, PARTICIPATION: A, OBEDIENCE: D
Teacher's Comments:
Joseph remains a challenging student. While I appreciate his creativity, I am sure you will agree that a classroom is an inappropriate forum for a reckless imagination. There is not a shred of evidence to support his claim that Dolley Madison was a Lesbian, and even fewer grounds to explain why he even knows what the word means. Similarly, an analysis of the Constitutional Convention does not generate sufficient cause to initiate a two-hour classroom debate on what types of automobiles the Founding Fathers would have driven were they alive today. When asked on a subsequent examination, "What did Benjamin Franklin use to discover electricity?" eleven children responded "A Packard convertible". I trust you see my problem.
[...]
Janet Hicks
Parent's Comments:
As usual I am very proud of Joey's grades. I too was unaware that Dolley Madison was a Lesbian. I assumed they were all Protestants.
Thank you for writing.
Ida Margolis”
― Steve Kluger, quote from Last Days of Summer
“The only thing I know about Moses is him coming down from the mountain with the commandments and saying 'The good news is I got him down to 10. The bad news is adultery is still in.”
― Steve Kluger, quote from Last Days of Summer
“Mr. Herbert Demarest
Alexander Hamilton Jr. High
2236 Bedford Avenue
Brooklyn NY
Dear Mr Demarest,
Then why don't you give him 'Withering Heights'? At least Heathcoat knew how to kick some ass.
Chas. Banks
3d Base”
― Steve Kluger, quote from Last Days of Summer
“Your head and your heart are two different things. One of them can get you into trouble and the other can't. It's okay to be scared when you can't tell them apart. That happened to me every day of my life. But nobody saw it except you.”
― Steve Kluger, quote from Last Days of Summer
“Everyone has something worth it inside of them even if it doesn’t show. Sometimes you have to look a little harder than other times but don’t give up. Otherwise all your going to see is a sorehead who plays 3d base.”
― Steve Kluger, quote from Last Days of Summer
“When you get famous or rich and maybe you think that you wish I was there to see it, remember that one way or the other I am.”
― Steve Kluger, quote from Last Days of Summer
“The last thing you will always remember is the most important one. A long time ago I told you I did not know for a fact yet that you were somebody special. Now I do.
I love you Bucko.”
― Steve Kluger, quote from Last Days of Summer
Steve Kluger
Born place: in Baltimore, MD, The United States
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“A grower of turnups Or shaper of clay, a commot Farmer or a king-Every man is a hero if he strives more for others than for himself alone.”
― Lloyd Alexander, quote from The Castle of Llyr
“Wherefore it would appear that this number was thus allied unto her for the purpose of signifying that, at her birth, all these nine heavens were at perfect unity with each other as to their influence. This is one reason that may be brought: but more narrowly considering, and according to the infallible truth, this number was her own self: that is to say, by similitude. As thus. The number three is the root of the number nine; seeing that without the interposition of any other number, being multiplied merely by itself, it produceth nine, as we manifestly perceive that three times three are nine. Thus, three being of itself the efficient of nine, and the Great Efficient of Miracles being of Himself Three Persons (to wit: the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit), which, being Three, are also One:—this lady was accompanied by the number nine to the end that men might clearly perceive her to be a nine, that is, a miracle, whose only root is the Holy Trinity. It may be that a more subtile person would find for this thing a reason of greater subtilty: but such is the reason that I find, and that liketh me best.”
― Dante Alighieri, quote from Vita Nuova
“Say a word, say a thousand to me on the telephone and I shall choose the wrong one to cling to as though you had said it after long deliberation when only I provoked it from you, I will cling to it from among a thousand, to be provoked and hurl it back with something I mean no more than you meant that, something for you to cling to and retreat clinging to.”
― William Gaddis, quote from The Recognitions
“But above and beyond there's still one name left over,
And that is the name that you never will guess;
The name that no human research can discover--
But the cat himself knows, and will never confess.
When you notice a cat in profound meditation,
The reason, I tell you, is always the same:
His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation
Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name:
His ineffable effable
Effanineffable
Deep and inscrutable singular Name.”
― T.S. Eliot, quote from Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats
“Nor did he think of Celia any more, though he could sometimes remember having dreamt of her. If only he had been able to think of her, he would not have needed to dream of her.”
― Samuel Beckett, quote from Murphy
The Story of My Life
The Mis-Education of...
Assassin's Creed: Re...
Balthazar
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