“Don't you do that.
Don't you look at what I had for you and call it weak.
Not when you were the one afraid of it.
I stood there with my hands open,
my mouth bruised tender with supplication.
Don't you dare treat me like a victim of my own emotions,
like being moved to my knees by love
was a mistake that I regret.
I will go to my grave with the memory of the bravery in my bones.”
― Caitlyn Siehl, quote from What We Buried
“My mother tells me
that when I meet someone I like,
I have to ask them three questions:
1. what are you afraid of?
2. do you like dogs?
3. what do you do when it rains?
of those three, she says the first one is the most important.
“They gotta be scared of something, baby. Everybody is. If they aren’t afraid of anything, then they don’t believe in anything, either.”I asked you what you were afraid of.
“spiders, mostly. being alone. little children, like, the ones who just learned how to push a kid over on the playground. oh and space. holy shit, space.”
I asked you if you liked dogs.
“I have three.”
I asked you what you do when it rains.
“sleep, mostly. sometimes I sit at the window and watch the rain droplets race. I make a shelter out of plastic in my backyard for all the stray animals; leave them food and a place to sleep.”
he smiled like he knew.
like his mom told him the same
thing.
“how about you?”
me?
I’m scared of everything.
of the hole in the o-zone layer,
of the lady next door who never
smiles at her dog,
and especially of all the secrets
the government must be breaking
it’s back trying to keep from us.
I love dogs so much, you have no idea.
I sleep when it rains.
I want to tell everyone I love them.
I want to find every stray animal and bring them home.
I want to wake up in your hair
and make you shitty coffee
and kiss your neck
and draw silly stick figures of us.
I never want to ask anyone else
these questions
ever again.”
― Caitlyn Siehl, quote from What We Buried
“When the boys come with the intention of hurting you,
my advice will always stay the same, my darling:
Give 'em hell.”
― Caitlyn Siehl, quote from What We Buried
“They all tell you not to fight fire with fire,
but that is only because they are afraid of your flames.”
― Caitlyn Siehl, quote from What We Buried
“When the boys yell after you like hyenas, you yell back, baby.
I will not teach you to be afraid of your anger
so that you look for it in others.
I will not make you be the better person,
because you already are.
You wanna fight 'em? Fight 'em.
Don't you dare apologize for the fierce love
you have for yourself
and the lengths you go to preserve it.”
― Caitlyn Siehl, quote from What We Buried
“This is the place I finally learned what it meant
to dance alone to the song you put in my chest.
Thanks for the symphony.
I can still hear it when I think of you,
and it is so much like remembering.”
― Caitlyn Siehl, quote from What We Buried
“My mother tells me
that when I meet someone I like,
I have to ask them three questions:
1. what are you afraid of?
2. do you like dogs?
3. what do you do when it rains?
of those three, she says the first one is the most important.
“They gotta be scared of something, baby. Everybody is. If they aren’t afraid of anything, then they don’t believe in anything, either.”
I asked you what you were afraid of.
“spiders, mostly. being alone. little children, like, the ones who just learned how to push a kid over on the playground. oh and space. holy shit, space.”
I asked you if you liked dogs.
“I have three.”
I asked you what you do when it rains.
“sleep, mostly. sometimes I sit at the window and watch the rain droplets race. I make a shelter out of plastic in my backyard for all the stray animals; leave them food and a place to sleep.”
he smiled like he knew.
like his mom told him the same
thing.
“how about you?”
me?
I’m scared of everything.
of the hole in the o-zone layer,
of the lady next door who never
smiles at her dog,
and especially of all the secrets
the government must be breaking
it’s back trying to keep from us.
I love dogs so much, you have no idea.
I sleep when it rains.
I want to tell everyone I love them.
I want to find every stray animal and bring them home.
I want to wake up in your hair
and make you shitty coffee
and kiss your neck
and draw silly stick figures of us.
I never want to ask anyone else
these questions
ever again.”
― Caitlyn Siehl, quote from What We Buried
“I am a city of sounds.
I will keep you safe.
I know I am supposed to feel ugly.
They all tell me that no woman
should look so well-traveled,
but they do not know.
I am earth. I am sun and skies.
I am the high road, the low road.
I am every poem about skin.
I am a world that cannot be explored in one day.
I am not a place for cowards.”
― Caitlyn Siehl, quote from What We Buried
“I will learn your anger. I will lick your sadness.
I will feast on your hunger.”
― Caitlyn Siehl, quote from What We Buried
“I promise a banquet for our ending.
I promise a parade of drums for the day you
close the door behind you for the last time.
I promise not to carry you around with me like a mistake
or a pack of gum, even when I forget what you taste like.
When they ask me about you,
I will always smile.
I will say your name and it will sound
like “thank you.”
― Caitlyn Siehl, quote from What We Buried
“When your little girl asks you if she's pretty,
your heart will drop like a wineglass on the hardwood floor.
Part of you will want to say
“Of course you are, don't ever question it,”
and the other part, the part that is clawing at you,
will want to grab her by her shoulders,
look straight into the wells of her eyes
until they echo back to you and say
“You do not have to be if you don't want to. It is not your job.”
Both will feel right.
One will feel better.
She will only understand the first.
When she wants to cut her hair off
or wear her brother's clothes,
you will feel the words in your mouth like marbles.
“You do not have to be pretty if you don't want to.
It is not your job.”
― Caitlyn Siehl, quote from What We Buried
“DO NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH PEOPLE LIKE ME
Do not fall in love with people like me.
People like me will love you so hard
that you turn into stone,
into a statue where people come to marvel at how long
it must have taken to carve that faraway look into your eyes.
Do not fall in love with people like me.
We will take you to museums and parks and monuments
and kiss you in every beautiful place
so that you can never go back to them
without tasting us like blood in your mouth.
Do not come any closer.
People like me are bombs.
When our time is up, we will splatter loss all over your walls
in angry colors that make you wish your doorway
never learned our name.
Do not fall in love with people like me.
With the lonely ones.
We will forget our own names if it means learning yours.
We will make you think that hurricanes are gentle,
that pain is a gift.
You will get lost in the desperation, in the longing
for something that is always reaching,
but never able to hold.
Do not fall in love with people like me.
We will destroy your apartment.
We will throw apologies at you that shatter on the floor
and cut your feet.
We will never learn how to be soft.
We will leave.
We always do.”
― Caitlyn Siehl, quote from What We Buried
“Do not fall in love with people like me.
We will take you to museums and parks and monuments
and kiss you in every beautiful place
so that you can never go back to them
without tasting us like blood in your mouth.”
― Caitlyn Siehl, quote from What We Buried
Caitlyn Siehl
Born place: The United States
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“...it is foreign to a man's nature to go on loving a person when he is told that he must and shall be that person's lover. There would be a much likelier chance of his doing it if he were told not to love. If the marriage ceremony consisted in an oath and signed contract between the parties to cease loving from that day forward, in consideration of personal possession being given, and to avoid each other's society as much as possible in public, there would be more loving couples than there are now. Fancy the secret meetings between the perjuring husband and wife, the denials of having seen each other, the clambering in at bedroom windows, and the hiding in closets! There'd be little cooling then.”
― Thomas Hardy, quote from Jude the Obscure
“What a tale he's told, what a bitter bowl of war he's drunk to the dregs.”
― Virgil, quote from The Aeneid
“John Matthew was her well of soul, as the symphaths called it,or her pyrocant, to the vampires. Her essential weakness.”
― J.R. Ward, quote from Lover Avenged
“the worst evil which befalls our race is, that when we are wronged and plundered, all the world laughs around, and we are compelled to suppress our sense of injury, and to smile tamely, when we would revenge bravely.”
― Walter Scott, quote from Ivanhoe
“The way is shut. It was made by those who are Dead, and the Dead keep it, until the time comes. The way is shut.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, quote from The Return of the King
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