The Mostly True Adventures of Homer P. Figg

It all boils down to this: A person has only two options in life, to do something or to do nothing.

I think in some way it's like that for all of us, living with the ghosts of things that used to be, or never were. We're all of us haunted by yesterday, and we got no choice but to keep marching into our tomorrows.

Dead man has nothin' to lose, nothin' to be feared of. Now I'm back among the living and scared to death about what happens next. —Samuel Reed

That does it. It can't be true love. Mr. Willow has eyes like a sick kitten. You might love a sick kitten but you don't marry it, you keep it as a pet.

It's fun to be amazing, to be the star of the show, to have everyone watching you—even if you have to act like a pig.

In his opinion, humans were best when miserable, and so he had worked at being miserable his whole life, and in his generous way tried to make as many people miserable as possible.

I think in some ways it's like that for all of us, living with the ghosts of things that used to be, or never were. We're all of us haunted by yesterday, and we got no choice but to keep marching into our tomorrows. Keep marching, boys and girls. Keep marching.

As far as I'm concerned, taking a bath is sort of like drowning, with soap.