Quotes from How to Lead a Life of Crime

Kirsten Miller ·  434 pages

Rating: (3K votes)


“What takes more guts? To fight for your own life at any cost—or prove that you're willing to lose it?”
― Kirsten Miller, quote from How to Lead a Life of Crime


“You’re never ready for the truth. No matter how much you think you know, it always takes you by surprise.”
― Kirsten Miller, quote from How to Lead a Life of Crime


“Where's the course called How to Lead a Life of Crime? That's what this is about, isn't it? You've got everyone thinking this is the best school in the country, but it's really just a Hogwarts for hustlers.”
― Kirsten Miller, quote from How to Lead a Life of Crime


“You've either bat-shit insane or you've watched too many movies. This isn't Star Wars, Mandel. I'm not Luke Skywalker. My dad's not Darth Vader. And you sure as hell aren't my Obi-Wan.”
― Kirsten Miller, quote from How to Lead a Life of Crime


“Aside from the nagging, he's the most entertaining hallucination I've ever had.”
― Kirsten Miller, quote from How to Lead a Life of Crime



“What would it be like to exist in a world without suffering? To have no needs, only desires? To be surrounded by so much beauty that you forget how ugly life is for everyone else? Who wouldn’t want that? Who wouldn’t be willing to fight for it? What the alumni did to get there – lie, cheat, steal, kill – I’m sure they’d all say it was worth it. And I bet they sleep soundly because they know that their nameless, faceless victims would have done the same thing.”
― Kirsten Miller, quote from How to Lead a Life of Crime


“See? You’re the crazy one, you redheaded freak.

I’ve been attempting to translate the phrase into Latin. If I ever succeed, I shall make it my personal motto.”
― Kirsten Miller, quote from How to Lead a Life of Crime


“Gwendolyn and I have a beautiful relationship. She tells me everything. I haven't killed her yet.”
― Kirsten Miller, quote from How to Lead a Life of Crime


“I kept my arms around Joi and my face buried deep in her hair while I waited for Peter Pan to slip through the window. I thought I needed him to tell me what I should do. But he never showed up. He left me alone with a girl who smelled of jasmine and cocoa butter. And before I fell asleep, I finally realized that was more than enough.”
― Kirsten Miller, quote from How to Lead a Life of Crime


“Why are you here?"
"Because you never said goodbye.”
― Kirsten Miller, quote from How to Lead a Life of Crime



“You're my one good thing now.”
― Kirsten Miller, quote from How to Lead a Life of Crime


“Can I ask you a question? I swear it's not about heaven."
Joi laughs. "Shoot."
"Why do you love me?" I ask her.
"Because you love me back," she says without hesitation.
"You have no idea how much," I tell her.
"Yes, I do," she says.”
― Kirsten Miller, quote from How to Lead a Life of Crime


“Joi..."
"Shut up," she says as she unbuttons my shirt. "I didn't bring you here for a heart-to-heart. How do I get this thing off without hurting you?”
― Kirsten Miller, quote from How to Lead a Life of Crime


“You will also be called upon to provide well-timed distractions. Get the whole country arguing about sex education or gays in the military, and Americans will stop paying attention to all the things they should fear.”
― Kirsten Miller, quote from How to Lead a Life of Crime


About the author

Kirsten Miller
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“Ever since I became an American, people have told me that America is about leaving your past behind. I’ve never understood that. You can no more leave behind your past than you can leave behind your skin.
The compulsion to delve into the past, to speak for the dead, to recover their stories: that’s part of who Evan was, and why I loved him. Just the same, my grandfather is part of who I am, and what he did, he did in the name of my mother and me and my children. I am responsible for his sins, in the same way that I take pride in inheriting the tradition of a great people, a people who, in my grandfather’s time, committed great evil.
In an extraordinary time, he faced extraordinary choices, and maybe some would say this means that we cannot judge him. But how can we really judge anyone except in the most extraordinary of circumstances? It’s easy to be civilized and display a patina of orderliness in calm times, but your true character only emerges in darkness and under great pressure: is it a diamond or merely a lump of the blackest coal?
Yet, my grandfather was not a monster. He was simply a man of ordinary moral courage whose capacity for great evil was revealed to his and my lasting shame. Labeling someone a monster implies that he is from another world, one which has nothing to do with us. It cuts off the bonds of affection and fear, assures us of our own superiority, but there’s nothing learned, nothing gained. It’s simple, but it’s cowardly. I know now that only by empathizing with a man like my grandfather can we understand the depth of the suffering he caused. There are no monsters. The monster is us.”
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