“Now, you may think that this is some sort of generalized hatred that I will carry for the lot of you. Let me assure you that this is not the case. Each of you will fail, but you will fail in your own unique way, and therefore I will dislike each of you on an individual basis.”
― John Scalzi, quote from Old Man's War
“I'm not insane, sir. I have a finely calibrated sense of acceptable risk.”
― John Scalzi, quote from Old Man's War
“I did two things on my seventy-fifth birthday. I visited my wife's grave. Then I joined the army.
Visiting Kathy's grave was the less dramatic of the two.”
― John Scalzi, quote from Old Man's War
“Damn real live people, getting in the way of peaceful ideals.”
― John Scalzi, quote from Old Man's War
“I despise you and I love you, you who are my damnation and salvation both.”
― John Scalzi, quote from Old Man's War
“The problem with aging is not that it's one damn thing after another—it's every damn thing, all at once, all the time.”
― John Scalzi, quote from Old Man's War
“Guns don’t kill people. The aliens behind the triggers do.”
― John Scalzi, quote from Old Man's War
“When you're a teenager and you're in love, it's obvious to everyone but you and the person you're in love with.”
― John Scalzi, quote from Old Man's War
“You do what you have to do to give people closure; it makes them feel better and it doesn’t cost you much to do it. I’d rather apologize for something I didn’t really care about, and leave someone on Earth wishing me well, than to be stubborn and have that someone hoping that some alien would slurp out my brains. Call it karmic insurance.”
― John Scalzi, quote from Old Man's War
“There has never been a military in the entire history of the human race that has gone to war equipped with more than the least that it needs to fight its enemy. War is expensive. It costs money and it costs lives and no civilization has an infinite amount of either. So when you fight, you conserve. You use and equip only as much as you have to, never more.”
― John Scalzi, quote from Old Man's War
“Do not mourn me, friends
I fall as a shooting star
Into the next life”
― John Scalzi, quote from Old Man's War
“I've always liked swimming, so long as my head's above water.”
― John Scalzi, quote from Old Man's War
“Many BrainPal users find it useful to give their BrainPal a name other than BrainPal. Would you like to name your BrainPal at this time?
"Yes," I said.
Please speak the name you would like to give your BrainPal.
"Asshole," I said.
You have selected "Asshole," the BrainPal wrote, and to its credit it spelled the word correctly. Be aware that many recruits have selected this name for their BrainPal. Would you like to chose a different name?
"No," I said, and was proud that so many of my fellow recruits also felt this way about their BrainPal.
Your BrainPal is now Asshole, the BrainPal wrote. You may change this name in the future if you like. Now you must choose an access phrase to activate Asshole. While Asshole is active at all times it will only respond to commands after it has been activated. Please choose a short phrase. Asshole suggests "Activate Asshole" but you may choose another phrase. Please say your activation phrase now.
"Hey, Asshole," I said.
You have choosen "Hey, Asshole." Please say it again to confirm. I did. Then it asked me to choose a deactivation phrase. I chose (of course) "Go away, Asshole."
Would you like Asshole to refer to itself in the first person?
"Absolutely." I said.
I am Asshole.
"Of course you are.”
― John Scalzi, quote from Old Man's War
“After another few days, I noticed I became annoyed whenever I would actually have to ask Asshole for something. How quickly the creepy becomes commonplace.”
― John Scalzi, quote from Old Man's War
“I’m a monster. You’re a monster. We’re all fucking inhuman monsters, and we don’t see a damned thing wrong with it.”
― John Scalzi, quote from Old Man's War
“Part of what makes us human is what we mean to other people, and what people mean to us. I miss meaning something to someone, having that part of being human.”
― John Scalzi, quote from Old Man's War
“If you’re the best that the Earth has got to offer, it’s time we bend over and get a tentacle right up the ass.”
― John Scalzi, quote from Old Man's War
“The universe is a big place. Maybe we're not in the best neighborhood.”
― John Scalzi, quote from Old Man's War
“This is my rife. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My rife is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I have master my life. My rife, without me, is useless. Without my rife, I am useless. I must fire my rife true. I must shoot before he shoots me. And I will. - Marine Rife Creed”
― John Scalzi, quote from Old Man's War
“How do you like your peace now, motherfucker?”
― John Scalzi, quote from Old Man's War
“The idea of spending another six hours with Leon and his farts was more than I could take.”
― John Scalzi, quote from Old Man's War
“I'm going to go pee. If the universe is bigger and stranger than I can imagine, it's best to meet it with an empty bladder.”
― John Scalzi, quote from Old Man's War
“Well, I miss my wife, you know," I said. "But I also miss the feeling of, I don’t know, comfort. The sense you’re where you’re supposed to be, with someone you’re supposed to be with.”
― John Scalzi, quote from Old Man's War
“In the next room, a very nice young lady, who happened to be completely naked, wanted me to tell her anything I could possibly remember about my seventh birthday party.”
― John Scalzi, quote from Old Man's War
“After our negotiations were completed, the dome would be imploded and launched toward the nearest black hole, so that none of its atoms would ever contaminate this particular universe again. I thought that last part was overkill.”
― John Scalzi, quote from Old Man's War
“I’m a seething cauldron of disconnected rage on the inside, Lieutenant.” “Ah, repression,” Keyes said. “Excellent. Try to avoid taking a potshot at me when you finally blow, please.” “I can’t promise anything, sir,” Alan said.”
― John Scalzi, quote from Old Man's War
John Scalzi
Born place: in The United States
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“What can it matter to you? You just drift along. You don't give a good godamm about the universal consequences that can flow from our most trifling acts, our most unforeseen thoughts . . . It's no skin off your ass . . . You're caulked . . . hermetically sealed . . . Nothing means anything to you . . . Am I right? Nothing. Eat! Drink! Sleep! Up there as cozy as you please . . . All warm and comfy on my couch . . . You've got everything you want . . . You wallow in well-being . . . the earth rolls on . . . How? Why? A staggering miracle . . . how it moves . . . the profound mystery of it . . . toward an infinite unforeseeable goal . . . in the sky all scintillating with comets . . . all unknown . . . from one rotation to the next . . . Each second is the culmination and also the prelude of an eternity of other miracles . . . of impenetrable wonders, thousands of them, Ferdinand! Millions! billions of trillions of years! . . . And you? What are you doing in the midst of this cosmologonic whirl? this vast sidereal wonder? Just tell me that! You eat! You fill your belly! You sleep! You don't give a damn . . . That's right! Salad! Swiss cheese! Sapience! Turnips! Everything! You wallow in your own muck! You'll loll around, befouled! Glutted! Satisfied! You don't ask for anything more! You pass through the stars . . . as if they were raindrops in May! . . . God, you amaze me, Ferdinand! Do you really think this can go on forever? . . ."
I didn't say a word . . . I had no set opinion about the stars or the moon, but I had one about him, the bastard. And the stinker knew it.”
― Louis-Ferdinand Céline, quote from Death on the Installment Plan
“She learned quickly that it was not good to be too different. Great differences caused envy, suspicion, fear, charges of witchcraft.”
― Octavia E. Butler, quote from Wild Seed
“Stupefied he gazed at the old man who, naïve as a child, returned his glance still rubbing his hands. How could he have recognized one who so utterly betrayed all his expectations? The man whom Valignano had called a devil, who had made the missionaries apostatize one by one--until now he had envisaged the face of this man as pale and crafty. But here before his very eyes sat this understanding, seemingly good, meek man.”
― Shūsaku Endō, quote from Silence
“Sometimes miracles occur only when you jump in.”
― A.J. Jacobs, quote from The Year of Living Biblically: One Man's Humble Quest to Follow the Bible as Literally as Possible
“Why do you need to fly so much?” she asked.
“If I don’t, it’ll catch up with me.” The words just came out.
“What will?”
I took my hands from my face, panting. I stared out at the storm.
“Unhappiness.”
― Kenneth Oppel, quote from Airborn
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