The White Road

An interesting thing happened today,” she said, giving me just enough time to get the word “hi” out of my mouth. “I opened the front door and there was a man on my doorstep. A big man. A very big, very black man.” “Rachel —” “You said it would be discreet. His T–shirt had the words ‘Klan Killer’ written on the front.” “I —” “And do you know what he said?” I waited. “He handed me a note from Louis and told me he was lactose intolerant. That was it. Note. Lactose intolerant. Nothing else. He’s coming to the reading with me. It was all I could do to get him to change his T–shirt. The new one reads ‘Black Death.’ I’m going to tell people it’s a rap band. Do you think it’s a rap band?” I figured it was probably his occupation, but I didn’t say that. Instead, I said the only thing I could think of to say. “Maybe you’d better buy some soy milk.” She hung up without saying good–bye.

You still carrying an arsenal in the trunk of your car?” “Why, you need something?” “No, but if your car is hit by lightning I’ll know where my lawn went.

So what you gonna do?” “Push a stick into the beehive and rustle up some bees. The Larousses are hosting a party today. I think we should avail ourselves of their hospitality.” “We got an invite?” “Has not having one ever stopped us before?” “No, but sometimes I just like to be invited to shit, you know what I’m sayin’, instead of havin’ to bust in, get threatened, irritate the nice white folks, put the fear of the black man on them.” He paused, seemed to think for a while about what he had just said, then brightened. “Sounds good, doesn’t it?” I said. “Real good,” he agreed.

I have found in the past that what passes for coincidence is usually life’s way of telling you that you’re not paying enough attention.

THE AFRO-AMERICAN HAS BEEN HEIR TO THE MYTHS THAT IT IS BETTER TO BE POOR THAN RICH, LOWER-CLASS RATHER THAN MIDDLE OR UPPER, EASYGOING RATHER THAN INDUSTRIOUS, EXTRAVAGANT RATHER THAN THRIFTY AND ATHLETIC RATHER THAN ACADEMIC.

So, how we doin'?" "Same as usual: dead people, a mystery, more dead people." "Who we lost?" "The boy. His guardians. Maybe Elliot Norton." "Shit, don't sound like we got anybody left. Anyone hires you better leave you your fee in their will.