A Note of Madness

I would give anything to escape myself, Flynn thought, just for a day, just for a minute even. Just to know what it was like to think differently, to feel differently, and to not be me.

But whichever form it took it brought with it, in those moments of bitter anguish, such a desperate surge of hope that it was almost untouchable, and flitted away like a golden butterfly into the bright blue sky - beautiful, unreachable and completely transistent.

The sight of such aching beauty would infuse his soul with pain.

Anyway, what does mad mean exactly?" Rami added quickly "Aren't we all a little mad? Don't we have to be somehat mad just to go on living, to go on hoping?

Anyway, what does mad mean exactly? Aren't we all a little mad? Don't we have to be somewhat mad just to go on living, to go on hoping?

Here’s to getting reacquainted with your own feelings. Here’s to being able to want, without being sure you’re going to get. To risk being hurt and to risk being rejected. Here’s to life.” - Rami

What the hell’s going on?” Rami demanded. “They won’t let me go!” Flynn yelled. “Get them off me, Rami, get them off me!” “Hold on, old chap. What on earth’s going on, Harry?” Whispering voices. “Get off me!” Flynn raged. More whispers. Then Rami’s hand on the back of his head, Rami’s face leaning down, wide-eyed, sweaty, a little out of breath. “OK, listen mate. I’m going to ask them to get off you on one condition. That you sit up and only sit up, not stand. If you stand up then both Harry and I will knock you to the floor and we’ll have to start all over again.” “Why?” Flynn yelled. “Why?” “It’s for your own good. ...

OK, listen, this is what we’re going to do,” Rami said at last. “You’re going to come downstairs, get into the car with me and we’re going to drive back to Watford.” Flynn lifted his head. “No!” he began to protest. “Actually, Flynn, this is not open to discussion. If you won’t come back with me, I’ll have to take you to hospital.” “I’m not going to hospital,” he said desperately. “You can’t make me! Just let go of me, just leave me alone”! He tried to pull away, but his arms felt weak. “Flynn, if we call an ambulance, they’ll section you.” “Why? They can’t do that! They can’t!” “They can and they will because right now you’re a danger to yourself.” Flynn put his forehead back on his knees and bit his thumb hard. He just wished he could go back in time to before the argument, before the dinner, before Rami’s phone call, before this morning’s practice. How could the events of one day have ended in this? “Don’t call an ambulance,” he whispered. “Are you going to come back to Watford with me?” He nodded. Defeated.

If he kept on going, he could ruin it all. Tomorrow would never come… He turned from them both, went over to the window and flung it open. The evening breeze felt cool on his face, the sky was made up of shades of inky blue, the branches tinged with silver in the moonlight. He couldn’t think any more, couldn’t be. All he could do was shout, hurt, destroy. He wanted only to break down this interminable life, this excruciating existence, and shut out all the pain… As he swung his legs over the windowsill, he heard Jannah sream.

You won’t find happiness by hiding from life, Flynn” - Rami

You’re so cute with your hair all gelled and spiky. You know, all I’m going to be thinking when you’re on that stage is that I get to take you home with me tonight.” - Jennah

What the hell is this?” “Three hundred milligrams of lithium,” Rami said. “Half your usual dose. We can do this the easy way or the hard way.” He smiled. “I’d rather have some Valium,” Flynn said. “But I’m the doctor.” “Here’s to never wanting to get out of bed again

Rami looked at him searchingly, suddenly serious. “I’m not sure exactly what’s wrong, mate.

I’m concerned, Flynn. Your friends are concerned. Professor Kaiser’s concerned. We’re just trying to help.” - Rami