Bite Me
Quotes from the Book
Love: the sickest of Irony’s sick jokes. The place where logic and order go to die.
That's the scary thing about hope," she said. "If you let it go too long it turns into faith.
You must find a place on a woman's body and live there. In the dark, the noise far away, Sam ran his hands over Calliope's body and the world of work and worry seemed to move away. He found two depressions at the bottom of her back where sunlight collected, and he lived there, out of the wind and noise. He grew old there, died and ascended to the Great Spirit, found heaven in her cheek on his chest, the warm wind of her breath across his stomach carried sweet grass and sage, and... In another lifetime he had lived on the soft skin under her right breast, his lips riding light over the ridge and valley of every rib, shuffling through downy, dew damp hairs like a child dancing through autumn leaves. In the mountain of her breast, he fasted at the medicine wheel of her aureole, received a vision that he and she were steam people, mingled wet with no skin seperating them. And there he lived, happy. She followed, traveled, lived with him and in him as he was in her. They lived lifetimes and slept and dreamed together. It was swell.
You want me and I want you. right?" Who did she think she was? You can't just go around blurting out the truth like a prophet with Tourette's Syndrome. He said, "Well, I guess. Yeah, that's right.
Adeline had come to Christianity the same way she had come to sex and smoking:through peer pressure.Thinking about her six kids and her smoker's hack, she wondered if perhaps peer pressure didn't always lead to the best habits.
Like God's own chocolate, I'd lick her shadow off a hot sidewalk
We really have to get going," Sam said. "Can we leave the car here and pick it up later?" The monk said, "Does a dog have a Buddha nature?" Does a fish have a watertight asshole?" said Coyote.
Anger is the spirits telling you that you are alive.
Hope is bulletproof, truth just hard to hit
You know, there's a 12 step program for gambling. You should look into that. Twelve steps. Coyote laughed. I'll bet I can do it in six.
Religion was supposed to be a matter of faith. Gods were not supposed to jump on your desk and snarl at you. They weren't supposed to sit in your office smoking cigarettes. God's didn't do anything. They were supposed to ignore you and let you suffer and die having never known whether your religion was a waste of time. Faith.
If you're going to learn, you need to forget what you know.
Action based on hope just felt better than the paralysis of certainty.
It's easier to keep a secret if people think you're crazy
To be safe is to be afraid.
You can't just go around blurting out the truth like a prophet with Tourette's syndrome.
My children are monsters, Kiro thought. And I am responsible. Perhaps if I had read them the haikus of Basho when they were little instead of that American manifesto of high-pressure sales, Green Eggs and Ham...
One day I was telling him that I thought that cars had replaced guns as phallic symbols for American men, and I thought it was interesting that he had one that was so small and fast. The next day he gave me the Datsun and went out and bought a Lincoln.
Back in the buffalo days, the Cheyenne prophet Sweet Medicine had seen a vision of men with hair on their faces who would come bringing a white sand that was poison to Indians. The prophecy had come true, the white sand was sugar, and Adeline blamed the white man for poisoning her right up to two hundred pounds.
The sofa was lumpy enough to have had a body sewed into it; stuffing spilled out of the arms where the victim had tried to escape.
If you are going to learn, you need to forget what you know. - Pokey
Snake eyes!" the croupier said. "Lizard dick!" Coyote shouted back. This sent me to convulsions.
(Samson is talking to a bum on the street.) "A guy stops near here every morning with a truck-picks up guys to do yard work, but he only takes Mexicans. Says whites are too lazy....I'm not lazy," the bum said. "I earned a degree in philosophy." "I'll give you a dollar," Samson said "I'm having trouble finding work in my field." (The bum replied)
There are those who, deprived of physical beauty, develop a sincerity and beauty of spirit that seems to eclipse their appearance. They marry for love, stay married, and raise happy children who are quick to laugh and slow to judge.
So safe,” Coyote said, “that you can lose it in a day? To be safe is to be afraid. Is that what you want: to be afraid?
Get in, get out, and nobody gets hurt, as Uncle Harlan always said, something he picked up in Vietnam.
Sam tried to think of a quick explanation, but was too weary from lack of sleep to tackle the concept of Las Vegas in twenty-five words or less. Finally he said, “These are places where you go if you want to fuck up your life and you don’t have a lot of time to do it in.” “Are we going to stop?” “No, I seem to be fucking up at a fine rate of speed, thank you.
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About Christopher Moore
About the book
From Christopher Moore, author of Fluke, comes a quirky, irreverent novel of love, myth, metaphysics, outlaw biking, angst, and outrageous redemption.
As a boy growing up in Montana, he was Samson Hunts Alone -- until a deadly misunderstanding with the law forced him to flee the Crow reservation at age fifteen. Today he is Samuel Hunter, a successful Santa Barbara insurance salesman with a Mercedes, a condo, and a hollow, invented life. Then one day, shortly after his thirty-fifth birthday, destiny offers him the dangerous gift of love -- in the exquisite form of Calliope Kincaid -- and a curse in the unheralded appearance of an ancient Indian god by the name of Coyote. Coyote, the trickster, has arrived to transform tranquillity into chaos, to reawaken the mystical storyteller within Sam ... and to seriously screw up his existence in the process.
Book details
- First published
- 1993
- Author
- Christopher Moore
- Genre
- Humor
- Goodreads rating
- 3.79 (28k ratings)
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