“Apparently while I was reading
The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Dating, he’d read The Guide to Dating a Complete Idiot.”
“Being surrounded by the people you loved is what made life... well, life.”
“Panty Melter: an exceedingly rare species of man blessed with so many desirable attributes he effortlessly gains access into a girl's panties.”
“Glasgow? Isn’t that in Sweden?” Dody was asking. He shook his head. “Scotland.” “Oh, yes, Scotland. Why, you must know Sean Connery then? He’s Scottish. Or is he German?” Des bit back a smile. “He is Scottish, but no, I never had the pleasure.” “Really? That’s surprising. Sweden is such a small country.” “Scotland.” “What? Oh, yes. Scotland. Why did you move from there, dear? Was it because of the potatoes?” She patted his hand sympathetically. “The potatoes?” “Potato famine was in Ireland, Mom,” Jasper said, banging the oven door shut. “In the 1840s,” I added, wanting to show off a little of my vast wealth of useless, esoteric facts.”
“Without the despair of today we can’t experience the joy of tomorrow.”
“Hating him had not come upon me all at once. It was gradual, creeping over me slowly, insidiously, like frostbite, until eventually I was frozen solid.”
“You’ll find the balance you need as soon as you let go of how you think things should be and accept them as they are.”
“That’s called style, girlfriend. It’s what sets us apart from the animals. And the rednecks.”
“Ours was the kind of dinner conversation one might expect to find in an English-as-a-second-language course or in the babble of a Pentecostal church.”
“The conversation blended into a sort of anecdotal jambalaya, with bits of our history woven in with pop culture trivia.”
“Hello?” I tried to sound skinny.”
“Talking to the sperm-donor-formerly-known-as-my-husband was just the garlic frosting I needed on this total piece of shit day.”
“Love is a grave mental disease.” “Shakespeare?” Kyle shook his head. “Plato.”
“popcorn, with Jordan fast on her heels. They sprinted into the dense growth of the overburdened flower beds and began running zigzag patterns around the sculptures. “Be careful in that mess of weeds!” I”
“It’s just practical. People die every day, so none of us should waste one little minute. I, for one, am going to kick up my heels while I’ve got some kick left.”
“si dejamos de reír, habrán ganado los terroristas.”
“cuando la vida te da naranjas, hazte un zumo.”
“you can’t fight against the universal balance. Without the despair of today we can’t experience the joy of tomorrow.”
“He put me in charge of chopping vegetables. I considered cutting my finger so he’d have to hold my hand to examine it, but that seemed a little drastic. Maybe I could be captivating without resorting to self-mutilation.”
“—El amor es una enfermedad mental grave. —¿Shakespeare?”
“Too many rules about monogamy. So”
“Life is to be embraced. It’s meant to be lived and enjoyed. Make your mistakes, but make them with gusto and learn from them. Some people will still let you down, like Richard. He’s the type with an itch that can’t be scratched. But I promise, if you start looking for the best in people, you’ll be very surprised at what you find.”
“Life is to be embraced. It’s meant to be lived and enjoyed. Make your mistakes, but make them with gusto and learn from them.”
“I felt like that kite. Hanging on by a slender thread, with no certainty or control over which direction life would turn me next.”
“know), and the definition of words like reticule and pusillanimous. “My dad was in the military,” Des said, beginning to go with the flow of Dody’s random questioning.”
“We can’t control events in our life, Sadie. Sometimes we can’t even control our reactions. But the harder we fight against the waves, the more exhausted we become. Control is an illusion, you know.”
“Oh, no reason,” I said. “Where’s Jordan?” “He’s downstairs watching Fontaine do Yoda.” “What?” Please tell me she meant something else.”
“You have much more than you realize. You’ll find the balance you need as soon as you let go of how you think things should be and accept them as they are. Watch for the big wave. It’ll push you in the direction of joy. You will be happy,”
“I guessed that he was one of those ambitious young physicians who more and more fill the profession, opportunists with a fashionable hoodlum image, openly hostile to their patients. My brief stay at the hospital had already convinced me that the medical profession was an open door to anyone nursing a grudge against the human race.”
“My mother lost too much and repaired herself in the only way she was able to repair herself. That in fact she is repairing herself, hour by hour.”
“But Calvinists have never been pacifists: they have always been all too ready for a fight.”
“Oh." He sat in confused silence for a few seconds. "Can I ask you a very serious question?"
"I rather you didn't," I said.
He stared straight into my eyes. "If you were an animal, what animal would you be?"
WAIT, WHAT? "Wait, what?"
"It's a classic icebreaker."
"If I were an ANIMAL...?"
He faked a sigh and checked an imaginary watch. "Your inability to answer the question doesn't bode well for-"
"I refuse to answer that," I said. "On the grounds that it's probably the stupidest thing I've ever been asked."
He stared at me, frowning. "I hear your subconscious saying MONKEY.”
“You’re supposed to walk around with this perpetual bubble over your head thinking happy thoughts and then everything is going to be sunshine and roses. Nope, sorry, don’t think so. You can be as happy as you’ve ever been in your life, and shit is still going to happen. But it doesn’t just happen. It knocks you sideways and crushes you into the ground, because you were stupid enough to believe in sunshine and roses.”
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