You and Me Forever: Marriage in Light of Eternity

Marriage is one of the most humbling, sanctifying journeys you will ever be a part of. It forces us to wrestle with our selfishness and pride. But it also gives us a platform to display love and commitment.

A strong woman has waited patiently while her roots grew down deep into the Word of God. Over time, she becomes unshakeable in her faith. She starts bearing fruit naturally and is full of life. People are attracted to her strength and growth, and many find rest and peace as they lean on her. And when storms and trials come, as they always do, they will not be able to take her down. A few branches may be lost or pruned away, but in their place comes new growth, new life. This is what I long to be! A strong woman who is anchored in God’s promises. But it starts by setting down your roots in God’s Word. It will not happen as you stand up for yourself, and demand attention, and fight for yourself. It will happen as you stand in Christ, and demand that He gets your attention, and fight for His glory. The beautiful thing is that as we pursue this, God takes His rightful place in our lives.

We can't cure our narcissism by trying to ignore ourselves. The solution is to stare at God. When we actually stare at Him, everything else fades to its proper place.

Again, our marriage problems are not really marriage problems. They are heart problems. They are God problems. Our lack of intimacy with God causes a void that we try to fill with the frailest of substitutes. Like wealth or pleasure. Like fame or respect. Like people. Like marriage.

Here’s a blueprint for marriage: 1. We become overwhelmed by Christ’s care for us. 2. So we shower our wives with the same love we receive from God. 3. Then, people are shocked by our extravagant love toward our wives. 4. As a result, we are given an opportunity to tell them about the love of Christ that compels us.

When two people are right with Him [God], they will be right with each other.

Many people will tell you to focus on your marriage, to focus on each other; but we discovered that focusing on God’s mission made our marriage amazing.

People accuse me of going overboard in preparing for my first ten million years in eternity. In my opinion, people go overboard in worrying about their last ten years on earth.

If we don’t stare at God, we’ll spend our time staring at lesser things. Namely, ourselves.

Maybe this is why 75 percent of church-raised children ditch the church when they turn 18. They see the gap between our supposed beliefs and our actions and decide not to join the hypocrisy.

In an effort to gain “converts,” Christians often refrain from telling the full story. We want people to follow, so like cheap salesmen, we share the benefits without explaining the cost. We tell them about Jesus’ promises of life and forgiveness, but we don’t mention His calls for repentance and obedience. We avoid His promise that we will experience persecution. When we do this, we cheapen the gospel.

Arguments escalate when we want to be right more than we want to be CHRIST. It's easy to get blinded in the heat of disagreement. Soon, all we want is to win. Even if victory requires sin. The one who wins the argument is usually the one who acts LESS like Christ.

Most marriage problems are not really marriage problems, they are God problems. They can be traced back to one, or both, having a poor relationship with God, or a faulty understanding of him. An accurate picture of God is vital to a healthy marriage. It's vital to everything.

Draw close to Him and let your marriage be the overflow of that. When things are right with God, your marriage can actually become what it was designed to be. Peace comes when both parties come to an agreement. Agree on God—agree on His holiness and the supremacy He deserves in your lives.

You can be more effective together than apart. In a truly healthy relationship, we enable each other to accomplish more than we could have done alone. This was His plan.

Do you remember those times as a kid when you could hardly sleep on Christmas Eve because you were so excited about opening presents in the morning? That anticipation showed that you had no doubt. We should have an even greater anticipation of Jesus. If you are not “eagerly waiting for Him” (Heb. 9:28), something is off. Ask God to restore hope in your life. Not the kind of “hope” where you vaguely wish something would happen, but the kind of hope that anchors your soul (Heb. 6:19). Meditate on His promises and pray for faith.

Eternal-mindedness keeps us from silly arguments. There’s no time to fight. We have better things to pursue than our interests. Too much is at stake! God created us for a purpose. We can’t afford to waste our lives. We can’t afford to waste our marriage by merely pursuing our own happiness.

Too many Christians are content with appearing to be a bit more moral than the people around them. But the difference between a true Christian and a non-Christian is not about subtle moral distinctions—it’s the difference between being alive and being dead!

Even now, I am working to make sure that my family is set up for the future. When most people make that statement, they are talking about financial security for their last few years on earth. When I say it, I’m referring to the millions of years that come after that. People

Christians in America have become experts at conviction—and failures at action.

Take time to rejoice in Christ. Seriously. No woman wants to be led by a joyless man. Let Christ fill you so you have plenty to give your wife. Find all of your security and worth in being a child of God, a member of Christ’s body. He “nourishes and cherishes” you, which enables you to do the same for your wife.

Many times we recognize our weakness, but we fail to recognize what God can accomplish through it. It’s a giving up point for far too many people who claim to know the all-powerful God. “I just can’t” is a foolish statement for those who know God; it should not be in our vocabulary. “I can’t” should be replaced by “I can do all things through him who strengthens me” (Phil. 4:13). Weakness should cause us to surrender to Christ in a way we never have before, to cry out to the One who has also known weakness, who has been tempted in every way, who knows the pull to give up, to move on, to pursue His own way.

There is no greater love story. The Judge of the universe chased after those who rebelled against Him. People made themselves God’s enemies by rejecting His rule and following their own desires. Yet God so loves His “enemies” that He sent His Son to pay the penalty for their crimes. God’s wrath was satisfied as Jesus hung on the cross. Through His death, believers are cleared of their sin and reconciled to the God they once rejected. This makes God both fair and forgiving, just and justifier (see Rom. 3:21–26). He is just because His judgment against our sin was carried out. We are justified because His innocent Son suffered on our behalf.

Jesus took away all of our ugliness. Unlike a typical bride, we are all shabby, grotesque, and woefully unprepared moments before we walk down the aisle. But our Groom beautifies us when we look to Him in faith, and in that instant we become His cherished bride.

This is the mistake a lot of couples make. They spend a lot of time looking at themselves and each other but very little time staring at God. When this is the focus, they naturally begin to structure every aspect of their lives around the few years they have with each other on earth, rather than the millions they will spend in His presence. Or away from His presence. These people live as though they are not dying. They live as though the King is not returning.

Someone is watching you right now as you read this. Think about that. The God who loans you life sees your every move, hears each word you speak, and knows your every thought. And this is a good thing. You are seen by God. Noticed. Known.

The verses in the Bible are more than good teachings, they possess power.

If I could read a manuscript of your prayers over the past month, what would I see as the “one thing” you repeatedly ask for? Actually answer that. Our prayers reveal a lot about us. Our requests show us what we treasure, and our tone reveals our opinion of Him.

Once this internal change takes place, it’s as if you can’t keep yourself from acting. That is how the Christian life is supposed to work. Something wells up inside and gushes out. I don’t conjure up love for Him; I love Him. I don’t convince myself to serve Him; I’m compelled to serve Him. It’s like I can’t help but love people and sacrifice for the poor. There’s a desire within me to do these things, and the actions flow from every fiber of my being. I hate lust. I hate pride. I hate hate, and I don’t even try to. It’s just who I am. I no longer see His rules as burdens, I’m grateful to God for them. I have become a slave of righteousness, and I love it!

God promises that an internal change—a new act of creation (2 Cor. 5:17)—will take place within those who believe. And that inward change will produce external actions. The Spirit fuels us so powerfully from the inside that His active presence is tangible and indisputable (see Gal. 5:22–24). If the actions aren’t pouring out of your life, you have to ask yourself: Is He in you?