The Interruption of Everything

If you jump to conclusions, you make terrible landings.

It's amazing how we can make ourselves believe what we want to.

Being a lifetime wife and mother has afforded me the luxury of having multiple and even simultaneous careers: I've been a chauffeur. A chef. An interior decorator. A landscape architect, as well as a gardener. I've been a painter. A furniture restorer. A personal shopper. A veterinarian's assistant and sometimes the veterinarian. I've been an accountant, a banker and on occasion, a broker. I've been a beautician. A map. A psychic. Santa Claus. The Tooth Fairy. The T.V. Guide. A movie reviewer. An angel. God. A nurse and a nursemaid. A psychiatrist and psychologist. Evangelist. For a long time I have felt like I inadvertently got my master's in How To Take Care of Everybody Except Yourself and then a Ph.D. in How to Pretend Like You Don't Mind. But I do mind.

Sometimes you have to step outside of yourself in order to see inside.

I pray for my mother. That if she can't ever recover what she's lost or what she's losing, that she not feel like she's lost. I pray that we make her feel necessary and valued as long as possible. That she comes to know comfort, even if I can't provide it myself.

I'm the only one who can stop me.. I'm the one who's been sitting at the stoplight all these years, waiting for the light to turn green.

Yeah, well all I can say is that a half truth is a still a while lie, ain't it...

I'm so sorry this had to happen to you. You deserved a chance to live a full life. You were on your way, Joy. And I was rooting for you. I know that Lovey's love wasn't enough to make up for what you carried in your heart. That somebody didn't love you enough to keep you. Or care for you. I can't imagine what you do with that kind of pain. But we tried to show you we cared; even when we were mad, that was the reason. You are the only sister I've had and I just wish we could've gotten closer sooner. I wish I had been more comforting to you.

I thought you said you were trying to quit swearing! Go to hell, Paulette. I will. As soon as I can have a whole week where no crazy or ridiculous or unbelievable shi*t happens an my mind is calm long enough to remember how to think.

I pray for my children. That they stay safe and make good decisions. That they be happy, thoughtful, and caring human beings. That they have the strength to get up if they fall down.

Just try to do this: write your plans in pencil but give God the eraser. Be still and stay put.

I pray for my sister. That she be allowed to discover grace and find peace without drugs. That her hair grows. That some of her pain be driven from her and given to me because I think I can handle it. I pray for her kids. That they find they have a chance to grow up knowing they were loved.