The Boys' Club

We’re practicing corporate law at the biggest firm in the entire world. Whether we know it or not, we’re blazing a trail for women in the future. The key to having it all is redefining what ‘all’ is. I wanted three kids. That means I have two nannies. I want them to eat home-cooked meals every night. That means I have a chef.

He turned to me, and I laughed too loudly, to assure him there was no need to censor himself. I shoved the feeling that I was somehow betraying my own sex out of my mind. It was all too easily replaced by the sweetness of inclusion.

Shake it off, kiddo," he said with a smile, and I forced myself to exhale as I fought back tears. "Either you're going to be perfect or you're going to be alive. Can't be both.

Alexandra, you act like a relationship owes you something. Like it's supposed to make you whole or better or more fulfilled or excited without working on it. You want a perfect marriage to appear the way you can order delivery for dinner - like it's sitting there waiting for somebody to bring it to you in neat packaging. It's not a thing you can order, it's a fluid state. A process.

Wow! Cool!" I took another sip of wine and moved thoughts of Sam's company to the periphery of my consciousness. Alcohol always had a useful way of clearing mental space for more pleasant thoughts.

By the way, nobody outside BigLaw will ever get it. Maybe investment bankers. But they’re the client. They have the luxury of not responding. We don’t. Doctors keep horrendous hours, but they at least know when they’re going to be on call. There’s no predictability with us. No ability to unplug. Do you know how many vacations I’ve taken where I haven’t left my hotel room? I haven’t been anywhere without an internet connection in sixteen years. Planes used to be the only time I really slept, and then the airlines went and got fucking Wi-Fi. The ironic part is, I did the IPO for GoGo—the company that delivers it to them.” She smacked her head dramatically. “If anybody tells you they ‘get it,’ they’re lying. And they probably hate you for being on your phone so much.