Escape

What she did have, after raising two children, was the equivalent of a PhD in mothering and my undying respect.

I had nothing to fear from my father. Except his disappointment. Which was no small thing.

If you want to disappear, Emily, you can do it most anywhere.

You kids were all in college, and I suddenly saw that I was stuck alone with a man who, all those years later, was still wanting me to be someone I wasn't.

The question was whether James would love me if I was someone else.

I swear, the cats did know me. They came without pause,

But the rest of what I was doing is … is like spinning. I sit in a room of thirty people I don’t know, and I pedal faster and faster to keep pace, but when I’m done, I haven’t moved an inch.

one of the worst things about electronic communication. Lacking facial expression, tone of voice, or context, words could be taken any number of ways. With only one cryptic word now, I was discouraged.

Wildness in animals is a curious thing to us humans. Isn’t that why people watch Animal Planet? Escape. Maybe that’s why we watch. Animal behavior is elemental. It takes us back to a simpler time.

Did you hear about the lawyer hurt in a crash? An ambulance stopped suddenly.

But wasn’t a best friend also someone you could trust not to hurt you? I had hurt Vicki, yet here she was, opening her home and heart to me again. So maybe being a best friend entailed the ability to forgive.

What made a friend a best friend? Did it have to be someone who knew your people, who shared your life outlook or your views on religion or politics? Could it just be someone who could talk and listen and commiserate?

Except she wasn’t Vicki Bell anymore. She was Vicki Bell Beaudry, owner of the Red Fox with her husband, Rob, whose family was nearly as rooted in Bell Valley as the Bell family was, hence a questionable welcome there, too.

What was it they said about the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of crap being the bucket?

I love crowds. They make me feel part of something big and important.

You showed me the side of life I was missing. The memory of it was here in Bell Valley, waiting for me. Now I have to go home and blend the two—right brain, left brain—rational, intuitive.” I wasn’t sure

I haven’t done anything as rewarding as this since I passed the bar. It was the best, Roger. I totally know what you mean about feeling good when you help people. I would represent one person like Lee any day over the jackasses I’ve been working with for the last seven years!

I’d found my path. I might not know the exact twists and turns it would take, but that was part of what I’d learned. Options changed. Needs changed. I could wing it a little. The important thing was seeing the overall picture. The forest.

Deviation,” I repeated, thinking, There it is, so fast, the unsettled something. “It’s a little more than that, Dad. We’ve actually been able to help someone. You know how good that feels. You do it in your work all the time, but James and I don’t.

Sitting at my kitten’s grave, I forgave myself for the last ten years. Wrong turns? No. I had acted in good faith, doing what I thought was right. But what was right, now, was seeing that my needs had changed. One of those new needs had just surfaced. I wanted a pet. I didn’t care what kind; James could choose. Or not. He would argue against it, but when I thought of my baby and the

My mom used to argue that tombstones don’t list jobs. They list relationships—daughter, wife, mother. Forget everything else right now; I need to recoup the wife part.

The only thing I want is to be loved as a grown person with the right to her own dreams.

You were selfish. It was all about Emily. You hung around only as long as it suited you, then you ran. Amelia’s words haunted me, because they so related to what was happening right now with my marriage and my job. As revived as I had felt leaving the cats, I was suddenly

Unconditional love. In that instant, I felt a sharp craving for it, and there was one place I knew I would find it in spades.

could also relate to wanting me to be someone I wasn’t, though James couldn’t be faulted for that. It had been all my doing.

I felt inadequate. In your dad’s eyes, I was always that. This particular day, he made a snide remark when he was leaving for work, and I snapped—not at him, but inside me.

opening her home and heart to me again. So maybe being a best friend entailed the ability to forgive.

There is no point in doing something unless you do it well.