“The sun will rise tomorrow. It always does, and all the wishing in the world for the way things were, or for what they could have been, won't change that. It won't change how things are.”
“I told you we were meant to be," he says, still smiling, still so Finn, who was always here but who I just didn't see and now--
Well, now I kiss him.”
“Josh pulls me aside.
"Hey, About before, I just... I wanted to say ... well, I think you're pretty special." He says, kind of stumbling over the words a little. Like he's hesitant to say them, now i wish he'd hug me again. And then kiss me.
But he doesn't. He just waves and walks off.
I sigh.
"Hannah, I just... I want you to know if I pause alot when I tell you how special you are I want you to think that I'm... very... very... deep," Finn says”
“Are you reading?" I say. It's not that I don't think Finn can read or anything, but it's just - well, not what I expected to see. I figured Finn spent his time doing whatever it is guys who aren't Josh do when they aren't in school. Burping, or something.
"Try not to look so surprised," Finn says. "I read. I can count to ten. Sometimes I can even spell my own name.”
“That's you, right?' he asks me.
'Yeah.'
'Cute. Not that I, uh, think little kids are cute. Just that you were cute. I mean, you can see how you turned out to be so...oh.”
“Okay, I guess you can come in."
"Um, Hannah, you have to, you know, open the front door so I can actually come in."
"I thought you were going to - you're standing under my window. Aren't you supposed to climb up here or something?"
"My ladder's at home. Also, you call throwing rocks at your window clichéd?”
“How come you like Josh so much anyway? All he does is sit around drinking overpriced coffee and bitching about how awful things are"
"He cares about the world."
"If he cared about the world, he'd donate the ten thousand dollars he must spend on coffee every year to charity. That would be doing something.”
“I don't eat bread.' Is she pouting? It's hard to tell. She's had a lot of chemicals injected into her face.”
“And you… do you know what you are?”
“Stupid?”
“Beautiful,” he says, his face turning red.”
“The sun will rise tommorrow. It always does, and all the wishing in the world for the way things were, or for what they could have been, won't change that. It won't change how things are.”
“I-I don't usually go around throwing rocks at people's windows. Or saying that I've wanted to kiss you since your first day at work, when you wanted to know why we had three codes for fish sandwiches when we only sold one kind.”
“She looked at me for real and saw I was serious. She saw I knew she was for me like you know that tomorrow morning the sun will rise.”
“Well as much as I'm sure the people next door who are pretending they aren't looking at me would like to hear what I have to say, I'd rather say it to just you.”
“Do you really think he was flirting with me?"
"Let's see. He gave you candy you hate - I saw your face - and a CD of songs..." He looks at the CD. "All of these are, like, twenty years old at least. Figures. Oh, and he groped your face. Sounds like true love to me.”
“I don’t think I could have picked a worse guy to be my soul mate.”
“I told you we were meant to be,'he says, still smiling, still so Finn, who was always here but I who I just didn't see, and now-
Well, now I kiss him.
And just for the record, it's totally worth the tardy slip I end up getting.”
“It was nothing. We played tic-tac-toe for a while. You know we do that sometimes."
"Oh, I know," Teagan says.
"Okay, how did you make that sound like we were rolling around ripping off each other's clothes?”
“I didn’t want to see it. I didn’t think he’d ever really notice me, and in the end, he didn’t.”
“And I know what people say about not listening to insults or how you should let stuff roll off you, but it’s not that easy.”
“I love this time of day,' Josh says-talking to me, he's talking to me!-and I try to think of the right thing to say.
'I love you' sounds a little intense for the conversation.
'Can we make out?' sounds like something Jackson would say, and even if I am thinking it, I never want to sound like Jackson. Ever.
'Me too,' is what I come up with.
Brilliant, right?”
“She has no idea who I am, not really. She's just someone who's noticed me because the video and she'll forget what she's said before the day is over.
Me? Not so much, but I go on, my legs shaking and a mix of anger and despair burning inside me.”
“I thought you were going to— you’re standing under my window. Aren’t you supposed to climb up here or something?”
“My ladder’s at home.”
“Everyone else carries a backpack, but not Josh. He has a cool, beat-up messenger bag, covered with stickers protesting all kinds of things.”
“While the Roman Empire was overrun by waves not only of Ostrogoths, Vizigoths and even Goths, but also of Vandals (who destroyed works of art) and Huns (who destroyed everything and everybody, including Goths, Ostrogoths, Vizigoths and even Vandals), Britain was attacked by waves of Picts (and, of course, Scots) who had recently learnt how to climb the wall, and of Angles, Saxons and Jutes who, landing at Thanet, soon overran the country with fire (and, of course, the sword).”
“No, I did not tell him about the raids on gay bars; cops invading private homes to arrest men having sex, the sexual act being illegal; entrapment, lying, aroused cops, years-long prison terms, suicides, violence.”
“sometimes the thing you think is going to ruin your life is the thing that saves you.”
“Ask me what I want,” Vicious murmured into my face. The public display of affection from him—not sexual, not bullying, but pure, naked affection—filled my chest with warmth, but I tried to swallow down my hope. “What do you want?” I turned my gaze to meet his, and suddenly, we weren’t in New York, in a gallery full of people. We were in my old room. Ignoring the party and the world around us, a world that we constantly disregarded when we were together. “I want you,” he said simply. “Just you. Nothing else. Only ever you,” he breathed out in pain, closing his eyes. “Fuck, Emilia. You.” I”
“dressed in blue-and-orange and red-and-white. “What is this?” she asked numbly. “On the screen?” “It’s the Iron Bowl from ’thirteen. Auburn–’Bama. Auburn wins with a one-hundred-and-nine-yard kick back run. War Damn Eagle.”
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