“I tried to be a better person for her– but it was to impress her, to get her to want me. But when I’m around you, I want to be better because… well, because it feels right. Because I want to. You make me want to become something greater than myself. I want to excel. You inspire me in every act, every word, every glance. I look at you, and you’re like… like light made into flesh. […] You have no clue how beautiful you are or how brightly you shine.”
“Adrian, I'm on a date. Why are you here? On my car?”
“Sage," he said. "What are you wearing?"
I sighed and stared down at the dress. "I know. It's red. Don't start. I'm tired of hearing about it."
"Funny," he said. "I don't think I could ever get tired of looking at it.”
“Day 24. Situation is growing worse. My captors continue to find new and horrific ways to torture me. When not working, Agent Scarlet spends her days examining fabric swatches for bridesmaid dresses and going on about how in love she is. This usually causes Agent Boring Borscht to regale us with stories of Russian weddings that are even more boring than his usual ones. My attempts at escape have been thwarted thus far. Also, I am out of cigarettes. Any assistance or tobacco products you can send will be greatly appreciated.
-Prisoner 24601”
“He shouldn't have said that," repeated Adrian, eerily serious. He leaned his face toward mine. "I don't care if he's not the emotional type or the complimentary type or what. No one can look at you in this dress, in all that fire and gold, and start talking about anachronisms. If I were him, I would have said, 'You are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen walking this earth.”
“Ah, those two. In a fight, they’re lethal. Around each other, they melt.”
“You need me? You yell. You want to leave? We go. I'll get you out of here, no matter what.”
“He shook his head. “No. Because there's no one else out there who understands you like I do.”
I waited for more. “That's it? You're not going to elaborate on what that means?”
Those green eyes held me. “I don't think I need to.”
“He reached out and pulled me to him, one hand on my waist and the other behind my neck. He tipped my head up and lowered his lips to mine. I closed my eyes and melted as my whole body was consumed in that kiss. I was nothing. I was everything. Chills, ran over my skin, and fire burned inside me. His body pressed closer to mine, and I wrapped my arms around his neck. His lips were warmer and softer than anything I could have ever imagined, yet fierce and powerful at the same time. Mine responded hungrily, and I tightened my hold on him. His fingers slid down the back of my neck, tracing its shape, and every place they touched was electric.”
“Adrian ordered a martini, earning disapproving looks from his father and me.
'It's barely noon,' said Nathan.
'I know,' said Adrian. 'I'm surprised I held out that long too.”
“Really, Sage? A date?”
I sighed. “Yes, Adrian. A date.”
“A real date. Not, like, doing homework together,” he added.
“I mean like where you go out to a movie or something. And a
movie that’s not part of a school assignment. Or about something boring.”
“A real date.”
“Nothing he said could change what I think of you. I've had my mind made up about you for a long time... and it's all good.”
“You're in an awfully good mood," he observed. "Was there a sale at Khakis-R-Us?”
“I’d mentioned this odd wardrobe choice to Adrian a couple of weeks ago:
“Isn’t Dimitri hot?”
Adrian’s response hadn’t been entirely unexpected:
“Well, yeah, according to most women, at least.”
“Isn’t it obvious, Sage? No, of course it isn’t. I did it so I’d have a reason to be around you — one I knew you couldn’t refuse.”
“Adrian stood there leaning against the doorframe, watching me with his heart in his eyes. In my chest, my own heart was breaking. On my cheek, the lily reminded me who I was. ”
“I know how you guys feel about us. I'm not stupid, and believe me, I've tried to get you out of my head. But there isn't enough liquor or art or any other distraction in the world to do it. I had to stop going to Wolfe's because it was too hard being that close to you, even if it was all just pretend fighting. I couldn't stand the touching. It was agonizing because it meant something to me-and I knew it meant nothing to you. I kept telling myself to stay away altogether, and then I'd find excuses… like the car… anything to be around you again.”
“He froze, and for one moment, we stood locked in time. I could feel the silk of his shirt against my skin and the warmth of his body. The lingering scent of the overpriced cologne he wore floated around me. No smoke for a change. I’d always told him the cologne couldn’t be worth what he spent, but suddenly, I reconsidered. It was amazing.”
“You made your own jean shorts...with a butter knife?”
“For once, you're going to hear something that doesn't fit into your neat, compartmentalized world of order and logic and reason.”
“It doesn't matter. Take Eddie's blood. Take Belikov's blood. Take your own for all I care. But If she doesn't want to give hers, then that's all there is to it. She said no. This conversation is done.”
“If you went twenty-four hours without cigarettes, I'd drink a can of pop. Regular pop. The whole can."
Isaw the glimmer of Adrian's earlier smile returning. "You would not."
"I totally would."
"Half a can would put you into a coma."
Sonya frowned. "Are you diabetic?" she asked me.
"No," said Adrian, "but Sage is convinced one extraneous calorie will make her go from super skinny to just regular skinny. Tragedy."
"Hey," I said. "You think it’d be a tragedy to go an hour without a cigarette."
"Don’t question my steel resolve, Sage. I went without one for two hours today."
"Show me twenty-four, and then I’ll be impressed."
He gave me a look of mock surprise. "You mean you aren’t already? And here I thought you were dazzled from the moment you met me.”
“Nice blouse, Sage,” Adrian told me, deadpan. “It really brings out the khaki in your pants.”
“Why not see which is brighter: your aura or the sun?”
“But perhaps the best part of all was that I, Sydney Katherine Sage, guilty of constantly analyzing the world around me, well, I stopped thinking.”
“He leaned closer to me and then seemed shocked as he realized what he was doing.
"Why would you do that? Why would you do that for me?”
“Too bad you got so bogged down in books. You've got the spirit of a warrior.”
“I wanted someone a little more approachable," I explained.
"What, like Captain McTropicalShorts back there? Where on earth did you find him anyway?"
"Just did an Internet search." Feeling a need to defend my research, I added, "He comes highly recommended."
"By who? Long John Silver?”
“How is Angeline?" asked Dimitri. "Is she improving?"
Eddie and I exchanged glances. So much for avoiding her indiscretions. "improving how exactly?" I asked. "Improving how exactly?" I asked. "In combat, in following the dress code, or in keeping her hands to herself?"
"Or in turning off caps lock?" added Eddie.
"you noticed that too?"I asked.
"Hard not to," he said.
Dimitri looked surprised, which was not a common thing. He wasn't caught off guard very often, but then, no one could really prepare for what Angeline might do.
"I didn't realize I needed to be more specific," said Dimitri after a pause. "I meant combat.”
“He had done the right thing and that was what counted. That was the best you could do in life. How others took it was beyond his control.”
“It's not the bad memories that tear a person apart. It's the good ones.”
“I said I was afraid and she told me to think about a time I felt brave and take that feeling into the situation with me. It worked. It helped.”
Corinne leaned away from the Plexiglas, horrified.
“Of course, since that time, I’ve learned much more about the technique,” her mother said. “I’ve learned to make it much more elegant, but the basics are still the same. Take that old calm, confident feeling with you into the new situation. I used it or a variant of it with clients all the time.” She knit her eyebrows, looking hard at Corinne. “I used it for evil during the kidnapping,” she said. “Now you can use it for good.”
“It's not easy-living in a void, living and dying inside your head…wanting what you want so much that you'd give everything else to get it- but the time still passes, the days go on…and as long as there's still a tomorrow, there's always a chance. ”
“An Englishman once said that he found it easier to be a member of a club than of the human race because the bylaws were shorter, and he knew all the members personally. That sounds about right.”
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