One Night on the Island

I don’t regret a single second of us, but right now it feels as if, in mending him, I’ve broken a part of myself.

Just go,’ I say. ‘Go and don’t look back.’ I aim for brave, but the truth is I don’t want him to see me fall to pieces.

I know it’s time to turn the wheel and head in a different direction

I acknowledge I haven’t always been my own best friend, and I certainly haven’t always been my own strongest advocate. I’ve lingered too long in toxic relationships and I’ve told myself to put up with things I’d tell a friend not to tolerate. ‘I promise to listen to myself, to take the time to hear the voice in my gut, because I know myself better than anyone and I always have my own best interests at heart. I’m wise enough to know when someone is disingenuous and I know when enough is enough. I also know that I am enough, and I’m brave, and I will succeed. I won’t judge myself too harshly when I get things wrong because everyone gets things wrong sometimes, but I won’t let myself off the hook without learning lessons, either.

I, Cleo Wilder, do take myself, Cleo Wilder, to be my strongest advocate and my most loyal friend, my loudest cheerleader and my most trusted confidante.

… What do I want to do with the rest of my life? Or if that’s too much, what do I want to do next? ‘Here’s a blank sheet of paper, write your story, Cleo. Write your next chapter,’ I say out loud, still superwoman at the shore edge. ‘Make yourself some promises. Tell the wind your secrets and the ocean your dreams.

These occasional mixed messages are just enough to keep me in the waiting room of her life, or maybe it’s the waiting room of mine.

No te construyas un muro tan alto que no puedas saltarlo.

And for a little while, he made me feel as if I’d swallowed stars.

I promise to listen to myself, to take the time to hear the voice in my gut, because I know myself better than anyone and I always have my own best interests at heart. I’m wise enough to know when someone is disingenuous, and I know when enough is enough. I also know that I am enough, and I’m brave, and I will succeed. I won’t judge myself too harshly when I get things wrong, because everyone gets things wrong sometimes, but I won’t let myself off the hook without learning lessons either.

he made me feel as if I’d swallowed stars.

I’ll trust myself,” I say. “I won’t be afraid to turn my ship around and sail in a different direction if the waters get choppy, even if it seemed like the right trajectory when I embarked.

Life is the stuff that happens in the cracks between your plans and expectations

You've experienced a loss - more than one and you need to grieve. You don't always have to be the strong one. You're allowed to fall apart.

Being a father isn’t supposed to be a bed of roses,” I say. “It’s not just pretty for a while and then disposable when it’s useless to you. It’s a forest, constantly changing, growing, evolving. It’s shelter and roots and branches to climb and leaves to break their fall.

Others hover around the middle serious: I promise not to make myself finish books if I’m not invested by page fifty-nine. Don’t ask me why page fifty-nine, it just feels far enough in to know.

in no small part because I’ve been gifted so much flamingo-related shite that I could open a flamingo-related shite shop.

love my family dearly, but surely they know me well enough to know that the ghosts of my past jumping out at me in a darkened room would be my personal hell?