“Love means holding on to someone just as hard as you can because if you don't, one blink and they might disappear...forever.”
on your impulse,
swallow the bottle,
cut a little deeper,
put the gun to your chest.”
“Grandma once told me it's easy to overthink love, to dissect it and question it until it is no more.”
“Wish you could turn off the questions, turn off the voices, turn off all sound.
Yearn to close out the ugliness, close out the filthiness, close out all light.
Long to cast away yesterday, cast away memory, cast away all jeapordy.
Pray you could somehow stop uncertainty, somehow stop the loathing, somehow stop the pain.
Act on your impulse, swallow the bottle, cut a little deeper, put the gun to your chest.”
“One foot in front of the other, counting tiles on the floor so I don't have to focus the blur of painted smiles, fake faces.”
“Memory is a tenuous thing. . . .
flickering glimpses, blue
and white, like ancient,
decomposing 16mm film.
me there, where faces
are vague and yesterday
seems to come tied
up in ribbons of pain.
Happiness? I look for it intead
in today, where memory
is something I can still
touch, still rely on.
I find it in the smiles
of new friends, the hope
My happiest memories
have no place in the
past; they are those
I have yet to create.”
“It [death] chokes you, gags you, but you have to pretend that you're doing just fine, not trembling with this fear because the end is close.”
“Too much to take in, too much to purge. Why must every memory, once sweet, dead end in such ugliness?”
“You believe this is a game, and you may be right. But if you think you can play it better than me, think again.”
“My happiest memories have no place in the past; they are those I have yet to create.”
“Now that I have opened that bottle of memories they're pouring out like wine, crimson and bittersweet.”
“Forever has no meaning when you're living in the moment.”
“I'd sleep outside naked in the blizzard,for you.”
“Everyone's afraid of everybody else...maybe because we're all afraid of ourselves.”
“I mean, if you're gonna
purposely lose your mind,
you want to get it back some
day. Don't you? Okay, maybe not.”
“I tattered their wings and tore off their legs, joint by joint, watched them crawl in circles, like little lost infants, untill they decide to die.”
intersect at a place
no reasonable person
would ever want to go.
lives that would have
been cut short, if not
for hasty interventions
by loved ones. Or Fate.
people, with nothing
at all in common
except age, proximity,
and a wish to die.
at the edges and come
unwoven to reveal
a single mutual thread.”
“The truth is, I don't have a real clue what love is - how to find it, how to give it. Once upon a time I thought I knew.”
“And the thought of that makes me want to open a vein, experience pain, know I'm alive, despite this living death.”
My entire world far beneath
my feet, I should be filled
with pride. Instead, I feel
overwhelmed by a sense of defeat.
Suddenly it comes to me,
toes tempted to test the ledge,
that there is a way out of this.
Clam surety flows through
my veins, and as I turn to wave
good-bye, I wonder if it will
hurt or if a single person
will cry at my funeral.
I take a deep breath, a final
taste of sweet mountain air.
I conjure Leona, Emily.
Move my feet closer. Closer
There's Grandma One, Grandma
Two, and their spouses, waiting
for me. I see Dad. Cara. Mommy.
I screw up my courage, step over”
“As the old saying goes, "sometimes loving someone means letting them go.”
“But then, my entire life is bullshit. The best things in it have vanished, ghosts. Ghosts I'll admit I created.”
“I wonder how long it would take him to realize I'm right as sin - it's the rest of the world that's wrong. I'm not even sure how I qualify for admission to Aspen Springs. Does wanting to die equal losing your mind?”
“Grown up? Me? I suppose I have. Killing things, and almost killing myself, must have changed me some, after all.”
“But Hey, Guess What
Crazy means I'm not liable
for my actions. So screw it,
I'll go home, propped up on
Prozac against distractions”
“It was the exact opposite
for me. At first all I
wanted was sex with her,
but soon I wanted more.
More sex, yes, in unusual
places, and all different kinds.
But that wasn’t all. I wanted
her to fill the empty spaces
left by a father who never
once praised me, ‘friends’ who
used me, an ice princess mom
who raised me with glass kisses.”
“No, of course not. But surely you know your affair couldn't go on forever."
"Forever has no meaning when you're living in the moment and I wasn't ready for that moment to end.”
“It is hard to believe that something that seems so permanent was once so different. Change. I guess that really is one thing you can count on...”
“Freedom is a double-edged ideal, because true freedom comes without the protection of laws that also enslave us by defining us--female, male; Christian, Islamic; good, evil. All at the whim of a frail minority.”
“Babe, you’re the most beautiful woman in the whole goddamn world to me. You’re all I fuckin’ want, Teacup.”
“You make me feel like there is nothing wrong with me". "I want you every day". "Your ass is amazing". He put a smiley face on the last one”
“Real love is hard because it requires one to know and accept another person with all their faults.”
“No man on earth may look on forbidden things as you have done and escape punishment. Especially here, a land so infested with divinity that one might meet a god more easily than a man.”
“Have a smack. Was all that happened for years. And my head is good for secrets. I can bang it on the wall. It takes the nervous out and no one bothers for it at all.”
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