The Night We Met

Maybe this isn’t the kind of love that deserves to exist. Maybe it’s the kind that wars start over. The kind that topples empires and never leaves the world better than it found it.

Life buries us. We get heavier and heavier as time goes on and we labor under the layers we’ve collected. Sometimes the layers make us who we are and sometimes they make us someone else entirely.

The reality is that most people with addiction won’t do what they have to do for anyone else. They have to want to do it for themselves

Love is self-sustaining. It doesn’t get weak and die when you don’t feed it. Even when I put it away

Sometimes necessity forces us to be the most efficient version of ourselves,

Maybe this isn’t the kind of love that deserves to exist,” I whispered. “Maybe it’s the kind that wars start over. The kind that topples empires and never leaves the world better than it found it.” His gaze bore into mine and I saw the exact moment he gave up. “Then let it all burn.

There's something about going on a trip with someone. Seeing how the love exists everywhere, that it's something you carry wherever you go and not just the product of the world it was created in. Going grocery shopping together in a store you've never been to, figuring out what new place you want to eat at, discovering everything together and it all feels different and new except for them. They're the constant. They're the safe space.

She’s not the great love of my life.” He looked me in the eye. “You are.

Maybe heaven was just an infinite car ride with Chris. Him behind the wheel. Us leaving everyone and everything behind.

I want to give you everything. I want to give you something that never ends,” he said

Time changes things, it doesn’t change people. People have to change themselves.

Who really knows what’s the best or worst thing you’ve ever done? Because you’re not always there to see how big the ripple gets. Sometimes some small decision

I would spend my existence silently cherishing a woman I’d never have. Someone I’d never kiss or even hold hands with. This was my curse. The future I was condemned to. To never truly be happy—or to be happy for him. Because he did not. Fucking. Deserve. Her.

I ask myself if I’m doing something because it’s what I’m used to, or if I’m doing it because it’s objectively the best thing to do.

This therapist listed the three careers that are least likely to cheat. Accountant

I think she would defy what takes most people down in the end because she had the ability to shrug things off and keep going. Keep smiling.

Maybe that’s how you learn truths about yourself

It was Chris. It was always Chris.

People tend to escape out the door they came in, even if it's not the safest route, because that's the door they know. They'll run right into the danger they're trying to get out of, just because it's familiar.

There’s something about going on a trip with someone. Seeing how the love exists everywhere

Mom used to always say that most of us live normal, unremarkable lives for most of our lives. It's in those rare small moments when we're called to action that define us.

I would give every penny to go back in time, knowing what I know. Maybe I could have changed things. Maybe not.

We looked at each other, some unspoken understanding passing between us, like we were agreeing to be whatever kind of mess we needed to be at this table. That it was mutually acceptable to just eat this bread and be in our feelings and say whatever it was we wanted to say without judgment from either side—which was good. Because sometimes I was too tired and too done to pretend I was fine.

I thought all this time that I was helping him, carrying his load. But in the end I had to drop it for him to decide to carry it himself.

There was this book I read once that talked about the psychology of people in survival situations. How humans have a hard time rewriting the script in their head. Did you know in an emergency people tend to escape out the door they came in, even if it’s not the safest route, because that’s the door they know? They’ll run right into the danger they’re trying to get out of, just because it’s familiar. I think about that like once a day. Most people go their whole life like that, escaping out the door they know. It actually changed the way I live my life.” “How’s that?” I said. “I ask myself if I’m doing something because it’s what I’m used to, or if I’m doing it because it’s objectively the best thing to do.

But that’s life when you go through a different door than the one you know. You end up somewhere new.