Of Fire and Stars

Partnerships can be built, but love can't be coaxed. Love should feel like the first time you gallop a horse flat out. It should make your blood sing. It should terrify you. And some part of you should recognize it the first time you meet the other person's eyes.

But some things are stronger than years of freedom. The draw of fire. A longing for freedom. Or a girl on a red horse.

For the first time in my life, I finally felt free - because some things are more important than a crown. Saving a kingdom. Knowing your heart. Or riding into the sunset with a girl on a red horse.

I wanted Mare. I was promised to her brother. I was in deep trouble.

With that knowledge came the realization that I was absolutely, without any shred of doubt, profoundly in love with her.

For the love of the Six, don't call me that. Just Mare. Yes, like a horse. Stupid, I know, but I can't stand Amaranthine. What a ridiculously overlong and pretentious collections of syllables.

An Affinity, much like a heart, cannot be changed.

Her beauty suddenly struck me with the force of a spring avalanche on the mountain.

And if time was kind, I’d find something to live for besides the memory of her.

This is Nils," I said. "He keeps me out of trouble. Or gets in it with me." Nils bowed and gave Dennaleia his most charming smile - the one that turned most women's brains to mush. "Nice to meet you," she said, and then turned back toward Cas's window, her gaze jumping between it and a piece of paper in her hand. I nearly laughed outright at the confusion on Nils's face. He wasn't used to women finding other things more interesting than him.

Denna, the truth is that I wish it were me, and not Thandi, who you were slated to marry. I’d suffer the crown if it meant a life with you.” Every word hurt. I had pulled out my still-beating heart and laid it on the floor before her. There was only one more thing to say. “I love you.

Rock was slow to change, but it would in time. Even the most difficult things become easier to bear.

I believed that as long as I followed my training, nothing could go wrong. But some things are stronger than years of lessons. The draw of fire. A longing for freedom. Or a girl on a red horse.

Nothing could make me hate you," she said. "But it's forbidden. It's dangerous," I said, daring her to contradict me. "Yes," she said. A heavy pauze hung between us. "But it means a lot that you trust me with the truth.

Our hands fitted together like the interlocking pieces of a puzzle.

She led me to her bed and laid me down beside her. I let her hands wander over me, losing myself in the patterns she traced over my skin. When she brought her lips to mine, we kissed until we could hardly breathe, until I couldn’t resist sliding my hand up her thigh, hiking the nightdress over her hips. Denna grew bold with my touch, finding her way beneath my shirt until she slipped the fabric over my head. Her mouth moved over my exposed skin, awkwardness quickly blooming into desire. When she put her hands between my legs, the last of my shyness vanished.

She put her mouth to my neck, placing a soft kiss where my pulse throbbed beneath my skin. I stopped being able to think.

I had always wanted to be like my perfect older sister but always seemed to fall short—too shy, too bookish, too impulsive to be a true leader.

I tried to convince myself that our stolen sunlengths together were enough,

I had to choose a future. And though it would break my heart to leave her, it would destroy my soul to stay.

Worse, I knew that given the chance to do everything over again, I would willingly make the same mistakes twenty times over.

I know you don’t have to love me, but I thought maybe you could. Someday,

She pressed against me hungrily, slick against my fingers.

Kissed my neck and trailed her lips over my shoulder.

I pulled the nightgown over her head so that our bare skin could meet.

The material drew in around Amaranthine’s waist, accentuating the graceful curve of her hips. All at once the room felt hotter, and my magic prickled beneath my skin to make me even clumsier. The smell of the outdoors still clung to her, mingling with the rose and lavender of the soap she had used to wash up. Even though she had touched me during my lesson, it felt different to have my hands on her. By the time I had finished tying the laces, my cheeks burned.

Mostly, I wanted to go home.

If one pretty piece of music could addle me into thinking she was attractive, it was definitely time to leave.