“Where you go, I shall go; where you die, I shall die, and there will I be buried.”
“They said that love was terrifying and tender, wild and sweet, and none of it made any sense.
But now I knew that every mad word was true.”
“You deserve all that and more. It made me happy to see you suffer. I would do it all over again if I could.' I realized I was shaking as the words tumbled out of me. 'I would do it again and again. Every night I would torment you and laugh. Do you understand? You are never safe with me.' I drew a shuddering breath, trying to will away the sting of tears.
He opened his eyes and stared up at me as if I were the door out of Arcadia and back to the true sky. 'That's what makes you my favorite.' He reached up and wiped a tear off my cheek with his thumb. 'Every wicked bit of you.”
“Why is he scared of the dark?"
I meant the words for a joke, but Shade nodded seriously. "Like all monsters. Because it reminds him of what he truly is".”
“Knowing the truth is not always a kindness.”
“We'll both be foolish," I said, "and vicious and cruel. We will never be safe with each other."
"Don't try too hard to be cheerful." His fingers threaded through mine.
"But we'll pretend we know how to love." I smiled at him. "And someday we'll learn."
And we walked through the gateway together.”
“You fought and fought to keep all the cruelty locked up in your head, and for what? None of them ever loved you, because none of them ever knew you”
“If one of us had to die, it ought to be the one with poison in her heart.”
“His hands tightened around mine. “I love you,” he said. “I love you more than any other creature, because you are cruel, and kind, and alive. Nyx Triskelion, will you be my wife?”
I knew it was insane to be happy, to feel this desperate exultation at his words. But I felt like I had been waiting all my life to hear them. I had been waiting, all my life, for someone undeceived to love me. And now he did, and it felt like walking into the dazzling sunlight of the Heart of Earth.
Except that the sunlight was false, and his love was real.
It was real.
Very deliberately, I pulled my hands out of his. “You’re a demon,” I said, staring at the ground.
“Most likely.”
“I know what you’ve done.”
“The exciting parts, anyway.”
“And I still don’t know your name.” My hands trembled as I undid my belt, then started to unclasp the brooches. It seemed forever since that first day when I had ripped my bodice open so
easily. “But I know you’re my husband.”
The dress slid down to land on the ground about my feet. Ignifex touched my cheek very gently, as if I was a bird that might be startled into flight. Finally I met his eyes.
“And,” I said. “I suppose I do love you.”
Then he pulled me into his arms.”
“Don’t look at the shadows too long or a demon might look back.”
“If you start wondering how this house works, you'll likely go mad. That could be amusing, I suppose. Especially if it's the kind of madness that causes you to run naked through the hallways. Do feel free to indulge in that anytime.”
“I was not born to be saved.”
“I coudn't be kind to him after what he'd done, couldn't be cruel after what I had done”
“I had been waiting, all my life, for someone undeceived to love me.”
“He is a monster, I said. Maybe I m a monster to pity him”
“And you would know so much about women, locked up in your castle."
"Locked up with eight wives. And sometimes I make house calls for my bargainers. There's many a lovely woman desperate enough to bargain with me."
This idea had never occurred to me before. "You touch another woman and I'll cut your hands off," I snapped.
He looked delighted. "I thought you were afraid of hurting me.”
“I remember the hours I had spent in Father's library, drugging myself with books so I could forget my doom for an hour..”
“I knew it was insane to be happy, to feel this desperate exultation at his words. But I felt like I had been waiting all my life to hear them. I had been waiting, all my life, for someone undeceived to love me. And now he did, and it felt like walking into the dazzling sunlight of the Heart of Earth. Except that the sunlight was false, and his love was real.”
“All it had cost me was everything”
“But you know what you are, and what you deserve. You lie to me but not to yourself. That's why I love you.”
“The fire roared down upon us. It curled through our hair, then wrapped around our wrists and faces, trying to drag us apart. It seared across my skin, hotter than the Heart of Fire, and yet more painful was how it seared through my mind. The fire burned away my memories, taking back his name and mine, both of my pasts and all of my hopes, the sky and the sparrow and the world itself. I clung to somebody I did not know, could not imagine knowing, but I still knew beyond all doubt that he was mine.
We fell until we had been falling forever and always, and always would continue falling, because nothing existed outside this chaos of fire and shadow.
But I held on to him.
And he held on to me.”
“If you desired someone, if he comforted you, if you thought he might leech the poison out of your heart, was that love? Or only desperation?”
“Though mountains melt and oceans burn,
The gifts of love shall still return.”
“The Kindly Ones would say it didn't matter. And maybe they were right. We still could have snatched happiness from our tragedy if we had made the right choices, the right wishes. If we had been kinder, braver, purer. If only we had been anything but what we were.”
“Most of all, I wanted to forget my mission and lose myself in the embrace of the one person who had ever seen my heart and claimed to love me after.”
“You were sent here to die. You were the one that was not needed, was not wanted, and they sent you here because they knew you would never come back.”
“I'm your husband. I can wait as long as I please and still have all of you.”
“I hope you aren't planning to order me back to bed."
"No, you have far too much crockery at your disposal.”
“Have you seen lamplight shine through dusty air, setting the dust motes on fire?” He waved a hand. “Imagine that, spread across the night sky—but ten thousand motes and ten thousand times brighter, glittering like the eyes of all the gods.”
“look vigilantly for one or two actions that create a cascade of change.”
“Marrok, in all
these years, you've grown to be like a grandson to me. I believe you can do this. Have faith in your
wolf, son. Where you're weak, he's strong. It's his mate, too, and I can guarantee he won't let her go
without a fight.”
“She cried easily. Evidence that she felt much, and most often for other people. A rare and beauty filled gift.”
“I didn’t know what I thought, other than that nothing was easy anymore and no matter what I did, things got messed up.”
“Sod it. If he laid a finger on my David, I’d just have to use my newfound martial arts mojo and kick him in the Knuts.”
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