Naturally Tan

Speaking of that - bitch, this is my country. I was born and raised in England. Great Britain colonised my family's homeland, and then that led my people to have the right to come to the UK to settle and have kids in that country. If the Brits could come to South Asia (and many, many other lands) to claim it as their own, then by gosh, I have the right to call England my home, and I will not get out because I'm told to... and neither will the rest of my people.

Every year, on the anniversary of 9/11, and in various places around the United States, I see the words 'Never Forget.' I understand that sentiment. I completely agree with honoring those who lost their lives. We must never forget them, and we must always be vigilant. But there is another side to this, too. It means we never forget to see my people as a potential threat. We haven't stopped racially profiling... these feelings of loss and fear and anger and tragedy affect all of us, regardless of the colour of our skin.

So many times, I think we do things because we don’t want to cause an issue. I wish I had spoken up earlier, instead of going along with something because I thought it was what was expected of me. All I can say is speak up; ask questions. Explain your concerns. It’s the first step in feeling empowered to push forward with your own agenda. There is no reason to stifle yourself! Because as a wise man once told me: the best moments are the ones where you’re you.

All I can say is speak up; ask questions. Explain your concerns. It's the first step in feeling empowered to push forward with your own agenda. There is no reason to stifle yourself! Because as a wise man once told me: the best moments are the ones where you're you.

There are two things a brown person cannot do, and those are to scream or run through an airport with a backpack on. We struggle to catch flights, too. But we're not allowed to run, because that would alarm all the white people.

Here’s how it usually goes: gays will start to wear something, it becomes a trend, and then ten years later, brosefs will co-opt it, and I’ll be like, “You’re behind the times.” Perhaps this is what will happen with cropped shirts. This is what happened with T-shirts. Gays started wearing tight T-shirts, but now meatheads have adopted that as their official uniform. Don’t get me wrong—they’re usually very buff and nice to look at from afar, but you wouldn’t want to date that. There is something about a supertight T-shirt that screams, “Look at me!” It’s a bit tool-y. Whenever I see people in tight T-shirts, it’s usually not forgiving. Gone are the days when sexy-sexy sells. I prefer a looser fit. I like when your features are highlighted, but don’t show it all off. Maybe show off one thing. That is all. Something loose and only slightly suggestive is much sexier than wearing skintight clothes.

I think that when people are in a position of power, they can really affect a person’s mental health, happiness, and career. They don’t realize what an effect they have on their subordinates. Every action you take truly has an effect on your employees, both at work and outside the office.

Until I met Rob, I thought, Relationships are miserable. Relationships are hard. But there are things about relationships that make them worth it. Now, I see that I was completely fucking wrong. You should expect to be happy every day. Anyone who says marriage is hard might need to see someone. My marriage is the easiest thing in my life. Other things are hard, and the thing that makes everything easier is my marriage. That’s not to say that a marriage is without challenges, but hard should not be your general state.

My biggest fantasy was to be able to take my revenge, which is a seriously screwed-up mentality for a child to have.

RECIPE: TAN’S HOMEMADE FACE MASK Half cup yogurt—I use FAGE 2% fat Greek yogurt Contents of one green tea bag (steep for one minute in hot water before emptying the leaves into the yogurt) Mix well, then apply generously to a clean face. Leave on for 10 to 12 minutes, then scrape off. Wash face thoroughly with warm water to remove completely, then rinse with cold water to close pores. Follow up with your regular moisturizer.

But people of colour are frightfully aware that one person’s actions represent the actions of all of our community.

The best thing about the Olive Garden is that when you arrive, they always ask, “Are you celebrating anything today?” The question they should ask is, “What happened to your life that you’re ending up at the Olive Garden? What ailment are these breadsticks and Alfredo sauce attempting to cure?” Please know: I am throwing no shade at anybody who’s thinking, That’s all I can afford. Because let me tell you, Olive Garden ain’t cheap. I swear to Lucifer, you can go to a real Italian restaurant and you’ll pay less than you would at the Olive Garden, and for something more authentic. I’d rather you go to the Cheesecake Factory. At least they know what they are.

I love an “I told you so” more than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s my worst quality, for sure.

Almost every woman I know has talked about equality in the workplace, about women supporting women, and about women championing other women. But I've also seen that women knock each other down and say mean things about other women more than I've ever seen from my male counterparts. Women: Stop knocking each other down, and let's start building each other up. Men are already there to stomp on you; the last thing we need is for women to join in on the act.

But I was good at running really fucking fast - my hundred-meter spring was bananas. Racism sucked, but it encouraged me to run faster than the bullies. That's the only silver lining you'll find in this chapter.

Don’t ever ask an employee to do something you wouldn’t be willing to do yourself. Did I clean the office myself? Yes, I sure did. Your employees aren’t your servants; they’re your employees. Treat them well, and they’ll work hard for you because they respect you. Don’t be that fuckwit boss who makes the employees’ lives hell. There’s nothing strong and powerful about that. If you do that, you’re just a tool.

If you want to change that much of a person, they're not your fucking person. This is especially true if the thing you want to change is a fundamental thing, lie if the person doesn't believe in marriage, or doesn't want kids, or doesn't share your religion. Your beauty and your humor will not convince him that there is a God. Next!

And if they do ask if you're gay after seeing your beautifully turned-out coif, smile and thank them, because someone assuming you are gay is usually their way of saying you are so darn stylish that you must have heightened powers. Own it, bitch; stop being so offended.

A lot of us fall into that trap, where you make an effort for everyday people who are insignificant to you. We should make that same amount of effort for our partners, who are the most important people in our lives. They shouldn't be the ones who get the laziest version of us.

you are not one of these men, do not wear a V-neck. Douchebags (especially in Las Vegas and New Jersey) seem to gravitate toward a V, sometimes even a deep V. You look like a tool. No woman wants that V-neck guy. When I see your deep V, I know who you are without you having to say a word. I know that you are someone who is single and isn’t a great date—though you believe you are, just as you also believe that you’re dynamite in the sack.