“But why, why, why can't people just say what they mean?”
“I asked you here tonight because when you realise you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”
“Humans often fail to see what is close to them and obvious to others.”
“But I’m not good at understanding what other people want.’
‘Tell me something I don’t know,’ said Rosie for no obvious reason.
I quickly searched my mind for an interesting fact.
‘Ahhh…The testicles of drone bees and wasp spiders explode during sex.”
“I haven’t changed my mind. That’s the point! I want to spend my life with you even though it’s totally irrational. And you have short earlobes. Socially and genetically there’s no reason for me to be attracted to you. The only logical conclusion is that I must be in love with you.”
“If you really love someone,' Claudia continued, 'you have to be prepared to accept them as they are. Maybe you hope that one day they get a wake-up call and make the changes for their own reasons.”
“Restaurants are minefields for the socially inept”
“You can’t go through life not listening to music.”
“Our first relationship with a male is with our fathers. It affects how we relate to men forever.”
“You’re unbelievable,’ said Rosie. ‘Look at me when I’m talking.’
I kept looking out the window. I was already over-stimulated.
‘I know what you look like.”
“And how could I be sure that other people were not doing the same—playing the game to be accepted but suspecting all the time that they were different?”
“Research consistently shows that the risks to health outweigh the benefits of drinking alcohol. My argument is that the benefits to my mental health justify the risks.”
“I met Rosie at the airport. She remained uncomfortable about me purchasing her ticket, so I told her she could pay me back by selecting some Wife Project applicants for me to date.
'Fuck you,’ she said.
It seemed we were friends again.”
“Asperger's isn't a fault. It's a variant. It's potentially a major advantage.”
“Fault! Asperger’s isn’t a fault. It’s a variant. It’s potentially a major advantage. Asperger’s syndrome is associated with organization, focus, innovative thinking, and rational detachment.”
“I knew so much shit and I still couldn’t fix myself.”
“What would you like?"
"A skinny decaf latte."
This is a ridiculous form of coffee, but I did not point it out.”
“And it dawned on me that I had not designed the questionnaire to find a woman I could accept, but to find someone who might accept me.”
“How can you tell if someone is a vegan? Just wait ten minutes and they’ll tell you.”
“Gene told me the next day that I got it wrong. But he was not in a taxi, after an evening of total sensory overload, with the most beautiful woman in the world. I believed I did well. I detected the trick question. I wanted Rosie to like me, and I remembered her passionate statement about men treating women as objects. She was testing to see if I saw her as an object or as a person. Obviously the correct answer was the latter.
‘I haven’t really noticed,’ I told the most beautiful woman in the world.”
“Professor Tillman. Most of us here are not scientists, so you may need to be a little less technical.’ This sort of thing is incredibly annoying. People can tell you the supposed characteristics of a Gemini or a Taurus and will spend five days watching a cricket match, but cannot find the interest or the time to learn the basics of what they, as humans, are made up of.”
“It would be unreasonable to give you credit for being incredibly beautiful.”
“You know what I like about New York?” he said. “There are so many weird people that nobody takes any notice. We all just fit right in.”
“Why do we focus on certain things at the expense of others? We will risk our lives to save a person from drowning, yet not make a donation that could save dozens of children from starvation.”
“I need not be visibly odd. I could engage in the protocols that others followed and move undetected among them. And how could I be sure that other people were not doing the same - playing the game to be accepted but suspecting all the time that they were different?”
“I know this song!’
Rosie laughed.
‘If you didn’t, that’d be the final proof that you’re from Mars.”
“Take notice of your emotions as well as logic. Emotions have their own logic. And try to go with the flow.”
“Love is a powerful feeling for another person, often defying logic.”
“If Rosie’s mother had known that eye colour was not a reliable indicator of paternity, and organised a DNA test to confirm her suspicions, there would have been no Father Project, no Great Cocktail Night, no New York Adventure, no Reform Don Project—and no Rosie Project. Had it not been for this unscheduled series of events, her daughter and I would not have fallen in love. And I would still be eating lobster every Tuesday night.
Incredible.”
“It seems right now that all I've ever done in my life is making my way here to you.”
“I know what those fuckers were capable of, and I would never wish that on you”
Her throat worked on a swallow. “What do you wish on me?”
“Me,” he said with brutal honesty. “Fool that I am, I wish me on you. Like, on you.”
“I have noticed that in books this sort of stalemate never seems to occur; the authors are so anxious to move their stories forward (however wooden they may be, advancing like market carts with squeaking wheels that are never still, though they go only to dusty villages where the charm of the country is lost and the pleasures of the city will never be found) that there are no such misunderstandings, no refusals to negotiate. The assassin who holds a dagger to his victim's neck is eager to discuss the whole matter, and at any length the victim or the author may wish.”
“He may not have said the words, but I know my son. I saw the way he looked at you."
"How?"
"Like he'd do murder for you.”
“books are burned, they will, in the end, burn people, too.”
“My mother named me after a miracle of nature: Waris means desert flower. The desert flower blooms in a barren environment where few living things can survive.”
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