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Martians, Go Home

by Fredric Brown · 1954

THEY WERE GREEN THEY WERE LITTLE THEY WERE BALD AS BILLIARD BALLS AND THEY WERE EVERYWHERE Luke Devereaux was a science-fiction writer, holed up in a desert shack waiting for inspiration. He was the first man to… more

10 quotes ★ 3.72 (2,531) Science Fiction

Quotes from the Book

Tired with the special weariness that comes from the combination of great responsibility and a feeling of utter inadequacy. Tired with defeat.
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Juju must hang clear of ground,’ he said. M’Carthi gave an order, and three black bucks leaped to obey it. They tied a rope of woven vines around the juju and one of them shinned up the tree and passed the rope over a limb; the other two hoisted the juju
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Against accusations of being a crackpot, he could have proved that he was sane. He had papers to show it, given him upon his release from a mental institution where once, some years before, he had been briefly incarcerated.
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It’s perfectly logical,’ said Dr Snyder. ‘It’s absolutely proved. You can’t lie.’ ‘But I can,’ said the Martian. ‘Work on the logic of that a while, Mack.
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The doctor sighed. ‘That is not within my province, Madam. But we’d better stop the bleeding from those cuts before we move him. I wonder if you would be so kind as to boil us some water?’ ‘Sure, Doctor.’ When the landlady had left the interne glanced curiously at the doctor. ‘Did you really want her to boil water or –?’ ‘Of course not, Pete. I wanted her to boil her head, but she wouldn’t have agreed to that. Always ask women to boil water if you want to get rid of them.
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But one and all they were abusive, aggravating, annoying, brash, brutal, cantankerous, caustic, churlish, detestable, discourteous, execrable, fiendish, flippant, fresh, galling, hateful, hostile, ill-tempered, insolent, impudent, jabbering, jeering, knavish killjoys. They were leering, loathsome, malevolent, malignant, nasty, nauseating, objectionable, peevish, perverse, quarrelsome, rude, sarcastic, splenetic, treacherous, truculent, uncivil, ungracious, waspish, xenophobic, yapping, and zealous in making themselves obnoxious to and in making trouble for everyone with whom they came in contact.
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A high-pitched chuckle sounded only an inch or two from Dr. Snyder’s right ear. He jumped a few inches, but very carefully didn’t turn, knowing it would put the Martian’s face unbearably close to his own. “Ver-y clever, Mack, ver-y clever. And screwy as a bedbug, screwy as a bedbug.” “It’s perfectly logical,” said Dr. Snyder. “It’s absolutely proved. You can’t lie.” “But I can,” said the Martian. “Work on the logic of that a while, Mack.
1
Yes, there was the PFAM. The Psychological Front Against Martians.
He turned to the want ads, looked for MALE HELP WANTED
Evidentemente, l’oggetto di studio della specie marziana era l’uomo. Gli animali, in quanto tali, non li interessavano, anche se non esitavano a spaventarli o provocarli ogniqualvolta tali azioni potessero avere l’indiretto effetto di disturbare o ferire gli esseri umani. I cavalli, in particolare, avevano paura di loro, e andare a cavallo, per sport o come mezzo di trasporto, diventò tanto pericoloso da essere impossibile. Solo uno stupido, finché i marziani furono con noi, osò cercare di mungere una mucca che non fosse fermamente assicurata, con le zampe legate e la testa immobilizzata. I cani erano presi dalla frenesia; molti mordevano i loro padroni e li si doveva abbattere. Solo i gatti, dopo una o due esperienze iniziali, si abituarono a loro e li accettarono con calma e aplomb. Ma d’altra parte i gatti sono sempre stati diversi.

About Fredric Brown

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About the book

THEY WERE GREEN THEY WERE LITTLE THEY WERE BALD AS BILLIARD BALLS AND THEY WERE EVERYWHERE

Luke Devereaux was a science-fiction writer, holed up in a desert shack waiting for inspiration. He was the first man to see a Martian...but he wasn't the last!

It was estimated that a billion of them had arrived, one to every three human beings on Earth—obnoxious green creatures who could be seen and heard, but not harmed and who probed private sex lives as shamelessly as they probed government secrets.

No one knew why they had come. No one knew how to make them go away—except, perhaps, Luke Devereaux. Unfortunately Devereaux was going slightly bananas, so it wouldn't be easy.

But for a science-fiction writer nothing was impossible...

Book details

First published
1954
Goodreads rating
3.72 (3k ratings)

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