Journey to Munich

Even if the whole world was throwing rocks at you, if you had your mother at your back, you’d be okay. Some deep-rooted part of you would know you were loved. That you deserved to be loved. —Jojo Moyes, One Plus One

I know this isn't easy for anyone - nothing worth doing is every easy" Brenda to Maisie Dobbs

that everyone has a capacity for evil. And we’ve all seen it, and done it, even if we think we haven’t—there’s the slight in conversation that wounds another person, the words we know will cause pain to a loved one but we utter them anyway, and the unkindness that could have been avoided. But then there are people in another league, if you will, people who are capable of so much more, who harbor an evil so deep it scars all our souls. That kind of darkness can lie dormant, as if in a barren desert, but then . . . but then circumstances change to allow their evil to become truly, truly terrible, a boiling storm that encompasses all in its wake.

Never fear going in circles, Maisie. The next time around, you’ll see something you missed before—that’s if your mind is open. And you will be different, and it will be better. Experience, Maisie. Knowledge of yourself. And when you have knowledge, you have wisdom. If your mind is open, and your heart is willing.

everyone has a capacity for evil. And we’ve all seen it, and done it, even if we think we haven’t—there’s the slight in conversation that wounds another person, the words we know will cause pain to a loved one but we utter them anyway, and the unkindness that could have been avoided. But then there are people in another league, if you will, people who are capable of so much more, who harbor an evil so deep it scars all our souls. That kind of darkness can lie dormant, as if in a barren desert, but then . . . but then circumstances change to allow their evil to become truly, truly terrible, a boiling storm that encompasses all in its wake.” She pressed her hand to her eyes and fought to stop her voice cracking. “And though I knew what I was walking into, it seems that in coming here I fear that I have seen the tip of an iceberg, a mountain of opportunity for evil to envelop the people not only in this country but far beyond her borders.

Memories streamed over her, and she sat up, images converging in her mind’s eye, the sneaker wave of grief catching her in its riptide pull once again, leaving her washed ashore, bereft, with two deep desires: to sleep forever, or to live life for them both. “Oh,

Maurice had taught her of the balance between opposites: that when thirsty, people might drink too much, and that when starved of love, they may bestow affection with no discrimination. Look at the child who clings if he doubts his mother's adoration, who feigns illness or pain if it brings his mother's arms about him.

She was surprised at how easily she was finding her way around, as if the geography of a place were another language and she was developing her ear for the sounds, oft-used words, and the way in which movement echoes speech. She had come to know that every city has its ebb and flow, its tide pools, rivers, and still waters; the time she'd spent wandering had aided her immersion.

I like to sew things up in my mind - in my work, I used to call it my 'final accounting'. It was something I was taught a long time go, that it's a way of picking up all the pieces we can when something important has happened. It's rather like making sure we know where every penny has gone after we've been shopping

The past, her happiness with James - memories brushed against her skin like gossamer shadows, alive but not alive, ghosts standing sentinel, watching as she went about her daily round.

It was as if, having traveled for so long, she had changed shape and no longer fit in anywhere. It occurred to her that perhaps her financial independence hindered her ability to settle. After all, if the options were simple, so was the matter of choice.

The deep, soft mattress that usually made her feel as if she were a cygnet nestled under its mother's wing now seemed hard and lumpy, as if horse hair had been stitched into pillow ticking and laid across concrete. She turned one way and the other, unable to find any semblance of the comfort that would lead to sleep. ... And Maisie knew, as thoughts contradicted each other, conspiring to exhaust her into sleep, that with one short assignment she could test the water.

May I know what it is to feel the weight on another’s shoulders.

has wounded me. Maisie knew the abyss; she knew what it was

In the months following James' death, on thought had returned time and again as she passed others in the street. What secrets did these people hold? What had they endured? She wondered how many people rushing in and out of shops, or on their way to their work, had lost a love, or known deep disappointment or grief, fear, or want, yet summoned the resilience to go on. Those lines across foreheads, those mouths downturned --- what were the ruts on life's road that wrought such marks, those signs of scars on the soul?

All the books, all the lectures, all the pages of ... of information, areas nothing against the measure of our experience -- and by that he meant the experience we take to heart, that we go back to, trying to work out the why, what, and how of whatever has come about in our lives. That, he said, is where we learn the value of true knowledge, with our life's lessons to draw upon so that we might one day be blessed with wisdom. I may not be there yet, but the better part of me is doing my utmost, and one of the elements of life I am learning the hard way is the wisdom to be found in forgiveness. It's what is setting me free.

Fear can be used in all sorts of ways to control people, and that’s what he’s done.” They took a few

As friends they knew each other’s history, knew the twists and turns that had brought them to this place in the world. And they understood each other’s fears and frailties; nothing had to be explained. Now,

Not you. Only Fräulein Donat.

Trouble is, your best ain’t always the best for those who want a say in the matter.