Freddy and the Ignormus

And Mrs. Wiggins stepped up beside him and shouted in her deepest voice: “Forward!” Mr.

Silence in the ranks,” said Mrs. Wiggins sternly. She stepped out boldly into full view of the house. “Inside the house, there,” she called. “If there’s anyone there who has any good reason to offer why we shouldn’t come in and tear you to pieces, let him come out under a flag of truce.” There

Always the joker, Simon,” said Mrs. Wiggins calmly. “But is that all you have to say? Because, if it is, we’re coming in.

It’s pretty queer,” said Mrs. Wiggins. “If he’s so terrifying and ferocious, my land!—you’d think he’d come out and fight to protect his property.

I think Simon is in there, and if he doesn’t come out, I’m going to send Cecil in to look for him.” There

Soldiers,” she said, “you have fought valiantly and the day is ours.” At

I am proud,” Mrs. Wiggins went on, “to be the general of such an army. It is true that our two chief enemies have escaped us. But we have captured their stronghold; the flag of the F.A.R. now waves over the Grimby house—or will, if Hank will stop prancing-around with it and will stick it up on the porch. As for the Ignormus, whatever or wherever he is, I do not think we need to fear him any longer. If he is anywhere in the Big Woods, he heard the Bean legions storming his house, and he plainly did not dare to show himself and to fight. “However, he may still be lurking in the neighborhood. He and Simon may even now be plotting new crimes. I propose therefore that we take all the stuff here in the house that was stolen from the bank and from Mr. Bean, back down to the farm. We will also take the prisoners and lock them up until we decide what to do with them. Then we will leave a garrison in this house, to defend it if the Ignormus comes back. And I will now call for volunteers to form the garrison.” There

Mrs. Wiggins had some trouble getting into the swing, partly because she was so big, and partly because she got to laughing. But Robert and Georgie held the seat and she got in finally, and Hank started to push her. Everybody thought she’d get scared when the swing began to go, but she didn’t. “Land sakes, it’s just like flying,” she said. “Swing me higher, Hank.” And then as the swing swooped down: “Whee!” she yelled. Well

But it came to a very sudden end. For just as Mrs. Wiggins was coming down on the highest swing yet, and had started to shout “Whee!” again, around the corner of the cowbarn dashed Freddy. He hadn’t seen what was going on, and without knowing it he ran right across the path of the swing, and Mrs. Wiggins hit him squarely. Her hind legs shot under him and he was scooped up as a ball is scooped up by a golf club, and tossed right over the ring of animals who were looking on, into a very large and very thick and very prickly barberry bush.

Oh, come along, Jinx,” said Mrs. Wiggins. “Let’s get him out. You’ve had your fun.

but now he was addressing her as president of a sovereign state of which he was a citizen. He had to put on a lot of dignity, because if he didn’t, none of the others would either, and pretty soon when Mrs. Wiggins gave an official order, nobody would pay any attention to it. As

Fellow animals,” she said, “this is as much of a surprise to me as it is to you. If anyone but Freddy came here with a story of having been into the Big Woods I’m afraid I wouldn’t believe him. But you all know Freddy. My land, Freddy exaggerates some when he tells a story. I guess all poets do. But if he says he’s been to the Big Woods, I guess he has. Let’s all be quiet now and let him tell us about it.” So

Well,” said Mrs. Wiggins, “now that that’s settled, suppose we get back to the business of the evening. Freddy has seen Simon, and I guess we can be pretty sure that the rest of his family aren’t far away. Of course, he may just have been coming back from Iowa, as he said, and not be staying in this neighborhood at all. But we can’t take any chances with rats. Has anyone seen any rats around?” But

In that case,” said Mrs. Wiggins, “about all we can do is to keep a sharp watch. Jinx, it’s your job to keep an eye on those sacks of corn upstairs, and the oat bin, and so on. I don’t have to give you instructions as to what to do if you see Simon or any of his gang. Probably your sister Minx can be of some help there.

And beyond that,” she said, “I don’t see what else there is to do, for the present. Has anyone any suggestions?” And as no one had, she said: “Then I think for the rest of the evening we might play games.” So

This was too much for Mrs. Wiggins, who was one of the softest hearted cows that ever lived. “Land sakes,” she said; “we can talk. Here, stop it! or you’ll have me crying too, and believe me, when I cry, I cry!” Freddy

When Mrs. Wiggins cried you could hear her down in Centerboro, and it was almost impossible to make her stop.

Mrs. Wiggins wasn’t brilliant—few cows are—but she had common sense, which Freddy had found by experience was a good deal more helpful.

Looks as if the Ignormus was in the house when you were in the cellar,” she said. “And he tried to scare you with the hose, and with that warning note. And yet—

Well,” said the cow, “it doesn’t make sense. By all accounts, the Ignormus is pretty terrible to look at. Something like a hippopotamus with wings and horns, I gather. Now why should an animal like that take the trouble to push pieces of hose around and write notes? Why wouldn’t he just come to the head of the cellar stairs and say, ‘Grr-r-r!

Gracious, I don’t know what I mean.” said the cow. “I just say what I think. You’re smart. It’s up to you to find out what I mean. It just seems to me that if I were as ferocious looking as all that I’d be proud of it. I wouldn’t hide in the woods and just let people wonder what I looked like. I’d come out and show myself and scare ’em into fits.

Then you’re not as smart as I think you are,” said Mrs. Wiggins. “What I mean is, if I were the only cow in the world, I might go around thinking I was pretty good looking, because there wouldn’t be any other cows to compare me to. And the Ignormus may be the same way. He doesn’t know what a good looking Ignormus really looks like.

You mean you’ve never seen one with feathers,” said the cow. “But you’ve never seen the Ignormus either, so how can you tell?

My land, Freddy,” said the cow, “I’ll try. I wish I’d had some experience in the army. I’m no general.

Down in the barnyard Mrs. Wiggins was mustering her troops. She had been President of the F.A.R. for so long that she had got used to being in authority and giving orders, and she was a much better general than you’d expect a cow to be.

This was too much for Mrs. Wiggins. She dropped the flag from her mouth and said: “We don’t think everything is all right. And this isn’t a parade: it’s an army. We’re going out to fight the robbers, and defeat them, and make them give back what they’ve stolen.” Mr.

You’re a worse talker than Charles, when you get started,” interrupted Mrs. Wiggins. “Anyhow, you’re going, so pick up that flag. As for being afraid, you aren’t any scareder than I am, and that’s the truth. But we can’t either of us back out—not when the honor of the F.A.R. is at stake.