For the Love of Beard

I don’t have a sense of humor anymore. It’s literally just sarcasm and a general hate of the majority of the human population. -Fact of Life

When you make sure you’re on the same page with someone, also make sure you are in the same book, and all parties know how to read. -Words of wisdom

Nothing compares to taking your bra off after a long day. -Things men will never know or understand

I had the sense of direction of a lame duck that couldn’t follow the flock in front of him to get to where he needed to be.

I hate it when I’m trying to eat a salad, it falls on the floor, and I have to eat tacos instead. -Text from Audrey to Tobias

When you’re a woman in a man’s world, then you can lecture me on how I should do my job. Until then, I have the vagina and you have the penis. You have the advantage. Always.

We all have that one friend you need to say ‘be nice’ to before you introduce them to someone. I’m that friend. -Audrey’s secret thoughts