Ayoade on Ayoade: A Cinematic Odyssey

I don't know that I brood. I just occasionally take time out to silently consider the specific ways in which others have wronged me.

Somewhere in the distance a wolf could be howling, but he decides not to. This particular wolf is by nature quiet and doesn't wish to blindly conform to stereotype.

Did you know … Roman Polanski sometimes has sex with adults?

Even so-called 'short novels' are pretty long and can take several hours to read, so make sure you stay hydrated. I like to keep an isotonic sports drink handy if I'm going to be reading for any longer than forty minutes. I'll also take regular breaks and make sure I'm wearing loose-fitting clothing.

Has any film ever been made that’s better than the worst episode of Columbo?

You know, it's funny: there are never any middle-aged souls. You hear about people being young souls, you really hear about old souls, but what about middle-aged souls?

For a tree without a past is like a man without roots; and unless we stand in rich soil, our leaves will blow like blossom into the night.

Did you know … Werner Herzog is too self-conscious to eat Wiener Hotdogs?

Ayoade realises he is thirty-one years old – only two years younger than Jesus when He died – and that he needs to pack a lot into the next twentyfour months to even begin to have the same cultural and sociological impact as the Son of God.

Writing’s an opportunity for me to get away from all that and create a world in which women view me positively: the ones who support me are rewarded, and the ones who don’t are definitively and objectively proved to be wrong.

Listen. Listen. Listen. Or just Listen (if you paid attention the first time).

Metaphor’s the last refuge of the scoundrel.

I've seen the film Grease. I've seen a film of Greece. I have never seen a film in Greece, or while being greased.

What's inspired me so much about doing this book is that you are another facet of me. Obviously, being in the 'journalist' role, you are the most weak, facile and spineless side of me, but you're still me

There's no life in school. It's an edifice built on chalk dust.