Quotes from Autobiography of a Fat Bride: True Tales of a Pretend Adulthood

“I need to learn to recognize and identify these danger signs when I see them, and not brush them off as "eccentricities," "lovable oddities," or "a sign that he s crying out for help and the comforting of a codependent nurturer that only I, Princess Enabler, can provide. Bad boyfriends don't disguise themselves; their girlfriends do it for them. ”
― Laurie Notaro, quote from Autobiography of a Fat Bride: True Tales of a Pretend Adulthood

“Whaddaya mean 'old maids,' ha? The term is 'unclaimed treasure,' buddy, 'unclaimed treasure!”
― Laurie Notaro, quote from Autobiography of a Fat Bride: True Tales of a Pretend Adulthood

“Oh boy. Too drunk to hold on to a whiskey and Coke and the word "pretty." That's not a combination with a positive outcome. Not good at all. That's the secret password that usually leaves me trying to find a ride home in the morning.”
― Laurie Notaro, quote from Autobiography of a Fat Bride: True Tales of a Pretend Adulthood

“So I graduated from college with a degree in journalism and was ready to find my dream job at a newspaper in addition to one good man who owned his own car and was certain about his sexuality, my two new, revised qualifying criteria for a potential date.”
― Laurie Notaro, quote from Autobiography of a Fat Bride: True Tales of a Pretend Adulthood

“I looked around. This house only the night before had been a home, and serves as a storage locker for memories that I could barely remember and a bunch of things I'd rather forget.”
― Laurie Notaro, quote from Autobiography of a Fat Bride: True Tales of a Pretend Adulthood

“You are basically a flophouse and a pimp away from Pepcid rehab, you know that?" I informed Nana.”
― Laurie Notaro, quote from Autobiography of a Fat Bride: True Tales of a Pretend Adulthood

“Be honest with yourself; set the alarm for the time the Real You will get up, not the Ambitious You, because the Ambitious You doesn't really exist.”
― Laurie Notaro, quote from Autobiography of a Fat Bride: True Tales of a Pretend Adulthood

“Weddings, I began to understand, were vile, filthy things when they ran amuck.”
― Laurie Notaro, quote from Autobiography of a Fat Bride: True Tales of a Pretend Adulthood

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― Jeff Kinney, quote from Old School

“the only place I could feel the pain was in my heart, the place where I’d wounded us both.”
― Meredith Wild, quote from Hardline

“With nothing trembles.
To be afraid of nothing for no reason. And having to live with that nothing until dawn.”
― Ray Bradbury, quote from Death Is a Lonely Business

“And every time the Takers stamp out a Leaver culture, a wisdom ultimately tested since the birth of mankind disappears from the world beyond recall.”
― Daniel Quinn, quote from Ismael

“I went through an emotional roller-coaster.”
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