A Tiny Bit Marvellous

Funny how women are ashamed of their inner fairy whereas men are forever proudly displaying their inner cowboy or fireman

There is a latent fairy in all women, but look how carefully we have to secrete her in order to be taken seriously. And fairies come in all shapes, colours, sizes and types, they don't have to be fluffy. They can be demanding and furious if hey like. They do, however, have to wear a tiara. That much is compulsory.

What was I thinking? Fact is I wasn't thinking. I didn't want to think. I wanted to feel.

It's not that I don't like my mum's face; it's just that it belongs on her, not me.

Never was there a creature more appropriately placed to be the poster girl for euthanasia.

Emos don't dance much to our music. They actually hate snow patrol and Girls allowed. How could anyone hate them? I haven't got any punk or metal stuff they would like but actually, when they'd had some cider they were dancing along happily to 'Mamma Mia' with us, no probs. Even though they're Emos, they are still like human.

I offered her the benefit of my company this New Year's Eve, but informed her that as of midnight I should much like to insist that she refers to me as Master Oscar at all times. For that is whom I am, and I can't stress enough the importance of being Oscar.

But tarry a while, haste is the arch-enemy of delight.