“Back and forth from Brooklyn to Manhattan. New York at night, from its bridges, is a miracle. When I first came to the city, it took all my fantasies and set them on fire, turned them into flickering constellations of light. Then it did the same with my history. As a dark speck of energy hurtling over the water toward that galaxy, I felt myself disappear. Relative to the image of infinity I was nothing, a clump of quantum matter skidding through the ether. It was as good as any drug.”
― Melissa Febos, quote from Whip Smart: A Memoir
“That is the gift of taking the long road: you know you're not missing anything.”
― Melissa Febos, quote from Whip Smart: A Memoir
“We kissed for two hours. Eventually, I led him into my bedroom and pulled off both of our shirts. He stopped me.
"This might sound weird; it's not typical guy response." I froze, suddenly awkward. "I mean, if I didn't feel the way I do with you I would be all for it, but I kind of think maybe it would be good to wait. I've rushed into sex, and had it be a mistake." He shrugged apologetically. "I mean, if it's safe to assume you are experiencing the same date that I am, then I think we will have time."
I was a little flabbergasted and more than a little embarrassed. How could I explain that the idea sounded like a huge relief to me, that I didn't quite understand where the impulse to start taking my clothes off came from? I had had the same experience. I rarely enjoyed first-time sex with partners, largely because I usually did it before I really knew or trusted them. Here was where the difference between what I knew and did remained wide. The shame I felt wash over me was tinged with that hatred of my own innocence. Was I still so green? So unconfident? Had I gone straight out of the extremity of sex work to the innocence of my adolescence? Where was my self-knowledge? Still, I was relieved.
"Of course. I agree totally." I clutched my T-shirt to my chest and smiled at him. "And yes, I am on the same date you are on."
"I thought so," he said. "I mean, I don't think you can feel like this when it's not reciprocal."
He left at 2:00 A.M. and called me at 11:00 the next morning to schedule our second date.”
― Melissa Febos, quote from Whip Smart: A Memoir
“I used to think that happiness, like God, was an idea weaker people were sold on, to manage the grief of a world with so much suffering. It is just easier, I thought, to decide that you are doing something wrong and you just need to buy the right thing, read the right book, find the right guru, or pray more to be happy than to accept that life is a great long heartbreak. Happiness is not what I imagined that mirage to be: an unending ecstasy or state of perpetual excitement. Not a high or a mirage, it is just being okay. My happiness is the absence of fear that there won't be enough -- enough money, enough power, enough security, enough of a cushion of these things to protect me from the everyday heartbreaks of being human. Heartbreak doesn't kill you. It changes you.”
― Melissa Febos, quote from Whip Smart: A Memoir
“I have always enjoyed watching women dress. The appeal isn't sexual. Most girls' first glimpse of private female life is watching their mothers dress and put makeup on. It makes sense that we'd find it comforting. Childhood fascinations often crystallize this way. Isn't beauty forever defined, in a sense, by the first things we found beautiful? Surely part of my pleasure results from the inundation of images that we all experience. But I also love ritual, and it is a mesmerizing one. I enjoy the ritual of dressing myself, too. It is a form of basking in a kind of femininity that I am opposed to as an ideal, but for better or worse, I think we all fetishize the female body, and intellectualization doesn't spare anyone the obsession.”
― Melissa Febos, quote from Whip Smart: A Memoir
“It has been my experience that the people I judge most harshly are the ones in whom I recognize some part of myself.”
― Melissa Febos, quote from Whip Smart: A Memoir
“Such is the disconcerting miracle of good acting; at its best it implicitly challenges our faith in who we are, who anyone is.”
― Melissa Febos, quote from Whip Smart: A Memoir
Melissa Febos
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“To enter with heart and mind into the world of the imagination may be to head deliberately and directly toward, or back toward, engagement with the real world.”
― Ursula K. Le Guin, quote from Tales from Earthsea
“I have a rule of thumb that allows me to judge, when times is pressing and one needs to make a snap judgment, whether or not some sexist bullshit is afoot. Obviously, it’s not 100% infallible but by and large it definitely points you in the right direction and it's asking this question; are the men doing it? Are the men worrying about this as well? Is this taking up the men’s time? Are the men told not to do this, as it's letting the side down? Are the men having to write bloody books about this exasperating retarded, time-wasting, bullshit? Is this making Jeremy Clarkson feel insecure?
Almost always the answer is no. The boys are not being told they have to be a certain way, they are just getting on with stuff.”
― Caitlin Moran, quote from How to Be a Woman
“Борьба со злом! Но что есть
зло? Всякому вольно понимать это по-своему. Для нас, ученых, зло в
невежестве, но церковь учит, что невежество - благо, а все зло от знания.
Для землепашца зло - налоги и засухи, а для хлеботорговца засухи - добро.
Для рабов зло - это пьяный и жестокий хозяин, для ремесленника - алчный
ростовщик. Так что же есть зло, против которого надо бороться, дон Румата?
- Он грустно оглядел слушателей. - Зло неистребимо. Никакой человек не
способен уменьшить его количество в мире. Он может несколько улучшить свою
собственную судьбу, но всегда за счет ухудшения судьбы других. И всегда
будут короли, более или менее жестокие, бароны, более или менее дикие, и
всегда будет невежественный народ, питающий восхищение к своим угнетателям
и ненависть к своему освободителю. И все потому, что раб гораздо лучше
понимает своего господина, пусть даже самого жестокого, чем своего
освободителя, ибо каждый раб отлично представляет себя на месте господина,
но мало кто представляет себя на месте бескорыстного освободителя. Таковы
люди, дон Румата, и таков наш мир.”
― Arkady Strugatsky, quote from Hard to Be a God
“He looked like a giant lion lying belly-up in the sun with his legs hanging open, licking his paws and airing out his balls.”
― Tina Reber, quote from Love Unrehearsed
“ "I don't know. I spent most of my life moving around. My dad and I had just settled in one place when all this happened. I..." She shrugged. "I guess I'm hoping it doesn't last much longer. I want a home." She glanced over her shoulder. "I know you do, too, even if you don't like to admit it."
I thought she was talking to me. Then Derek stepped into the doorway.
"He wasn't eavesdropping," she said to me. "He just doesn't like me being alone with strangers in the house." She aimed a pointed look his way. "Even if I end up rescuing him from danger as often as he rescues me." ”
― Kelley Armstrong, quote from The Rising
The Year of Fog
Dead to You
The Wisdom of Life
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